From the day I shared with my wife, Karen, that I was interested in becoming a Freemason she has supported my journey. Her support during these past two years while I sat in the East was especially important to me. To use a cliche, Freemasonry has made me a better man, husband and father. I’m uniquely aware when I’m separated from the brothers. This forum is a daily reminder to me to be a Mason in every way, every day.
It may be a cliche, but I feel the same way. I believe that I am a better man now then I was before I was a Freemason. I can't point to any specific thing that happened, or time that it happened, but I think it was just a gradual course of improvement. It is though, undeniable when I honestly reflect upon myself and my life.
For the majority of my Masonic journey, I have been single, and my support came from my Brethren in Lodge (and out). I have enjoyed the support and encouragement of my mentors, who helped me to understand what I was doing and why I was doing it. It's not all about Ritual, although that's important, too! The main part is creating and maintaining a "presence" at each station I have held. I now have a lovely Lady in my life, who supports and encourages me. "You need to go to Lodge!" she will say, and check my appearance before I leave the house. "Knock 'em dead!" will be her words before I depart. Then, when I come home, she will want to know how it went, who was there, and if we did anything interesting. Because of her, I feel renewed every time I engage in a Masonic activity!
My wife too seems to fuss over my appearance when I'm headed out to Lodge. Mainly over the dog hair I think. Darn Coop Dog does tend to leave mounds of it everywhere! Kind of odd though, given that I'm no prize to look at anyway!
I had been around Freemasons since I was in diapers. I didn’t really understand it until I got into my early teens. My Great Uncle lived in Tenino and was a member of Tenino Lodge, and so was my Uncle. This is why I joined Tenino Lodge, despite living 10 miles south in Centralia. I had known the Senior Deacon of Tenino Lodge since I was a kid, and I was familiar with most of the active members of that Lodge for a few years before I joined.
My Mother is an officer in the local OES Chapter, and my brother is also a member of Tenino Lodge. Yes, Freemasonry is totally a part of all my family’s lives.
But here’s another take on the subject of Family. I’ve never married. In this day and age, that’s not a big deal, but many of us have noted throughout the years, how many Worshipful Masters, Grand Lodge officers and Grand Masters have noted how important their wife (or having a wife) is in their Masonic Journey, and behind every good Mason is a good wife. I’ve also heard that some Brothers shouldn’t have taken on a leadership position because of their situation with their wife (or lack thereof.) As I type this, it has become more clear to me that most of these Brothers mean that if they are truly to succeed, they need the support of their wife. If the Brother’s wife is not supporting what he’s doing, it will make his job considerably more difficult. It doesn’t necessarily mean that a Mason will be at a severe disadvantage if he’s single compared to if he’s married, or that a Mason who is single is shut out of opportunities to contribute to our Fraternity.
One more very important thing concerning family. There are many family members of Brothers who take the Brotherhood of our Fraternity very seriously. I don’t have any biological nieces or nephews, but I do have several of each through our Fraternity. These young ladies and gentlemen truly consider me their uncle, and I have indeed overheard some of them introducing themselves to friends of mine as my niece or nephew. Now, my Brothers, I’m telling you, that means a LOT. It really does. But it’s also the same idea in the other direction, as when I joined, I gained several “Grandfathers,” as many of the active members of the Lodges were my grandfather’s age. While I never referred to them as “Grandpa,” I did mention to friends that they were like Grandfathers to me. That’s what this Fraternity does, and it’s one of the points I try to stress when friends ask me about this “Freemason group” I’m a very active member of.
I do think that it would be much more difficult to succeed as an elected Grand Lodge Officer without an involved Lady. There is a great deal that they do in order for things to be pulled off well.
That said, I don't think that means that a single guy is at a disadvantage.
I think what it means is that a single guy (or even a guy with an uninvolved wife) would be well served in finding a lady who enjoys all the stuff our ladies do, and drafting her into being his lady, not in a romantic sense, but in a Masonic sense. I do know of one GM who did this, perhaps two.
It is one of my biggest obstacles. I do not have the support and encouragement or any family history in the fraternity.
This lack of support is one of the many reasons I do not consider myself suitable for lodge leadership. Which isn't to say I wouldn't love to be in a vibrant educational lodge but the lack of family support means I can't travel to a vibrant lodge, and there are no such lodges local to me.
I understand what you are saying, because I can't see worth a darn in the dark. It's been a serious problem since about my mid 20's. If it weren't for the fact that my wife seems to enjoy Masonry as much as I do, I would have never been able to do nearly the traveling to Lodges that I've done. I certainly wouldn't be typing this from Silverdale tonight for example.
As a soon to be single guy, I haven’t had issues with family support. My daughter has been out of the nest for years, and I don’t interact with her mom at all.
But I have seen good decent men forced to give up masonry for their wife and family.
I feel sorry for the men who are forced to make those choices.
For some, spending all of their masonic life in OES is what they want. To me that isn’t much different than leaving masonry altogether.
Some can juggle it all and still maintain a healthy home life. But I’ve also talked to men whose fathers were masons that spent all their time in lodge, eastern star, or both, and as a kid they resented it.
It’s about priorities. It’s about balance. It’s about moderation in everything you do.
I think you hit it right on the head. Balance is the key.
I am lucky in that my wife is, for whatever reason, just about as gung ho for Masonry as I am. My daughters all seem to enjoy being involved as well. Heck, all three daughters spent last weekend at our Annual Communication.
The granddaughter seems to like it too, but I think that is because she walked me into the Installation, and at the tender age of 4, she is now convinced that the ceremony made her into a Queen.
I was already a Mason when I met my wife. When she introduced me to her dad that went fairly smooth when he saw my ring. He was a PM and it was then I learned of her being a Jobie and all the summers they spent in the park at Granite Falls.
She has been nothing but supportive and encouraging.
Like you, I met my wife when I was already a Mason. She didn't have any background in it, but she took to it right away.
In some ways, I think this may have been because she only ever knew one Grandfather, and while she very often talks extremely fondly of him, he died when she was still fairly young. I think that she sort of found a grandfather or two for herself within the Lodge. That's rather the impression I have anyway, much as Clayton mentioned above.
From the day I shared with my wife, Karen, that I was interested in becoming a Freemason she has supported my journey. Her support during these past two years while I sat in the East was especially important to me. To use a cliche, Freemasonry has made me a better man, husband and father. I’m uniquely aware when I’m separated from the brothers. This forum is a daily reminder to me to be a Mason in every way, every day.
It may be a cliche, but I feel the same way. I believe that I am a better man now then I was before I was a Freemason. I can't point to any specific thing that happened, or time that it happened, but I think it was just a gradual course of improvement. It is though, undeniable when I honestly reflect upon myself and my life.
For the majority of my Masonic journey, I have been single, and my support came from my Brethren in Lodge (and out). I have enjoyed the support and encouragement of my mentors, who helped me to understand what I was doing and why I was doing it. It's not all about Ritual, although that's important, too! The main part is creating and maintaining a "presence" at each station I have held. I now have a lovely Lady in my life, who supports and encourages me. "You need to go to Lodge!" she will say, and check my appearance before I leave the house. "Knock 'em dead!" will be her words before I depart. Then, when I come home, she will want to know how it went, who was there, and if we did anything interesting. Because of her, I feel renewed every time I engage in a Masonic activity!
My wife too seems to fuss over my appearance when I'm headed out to Lodge. Mainly over the dog hair I think. Darn Coop Dog does tend to leave mounds of it everywhere! Kind of odd though, given that I'm no prize to look at anyway!
I had been around Freemasons since I was in diapers. I didn’t really understand it until I got into my early teens. My Great Uncle lived in Tenino and was a member of Tenino Lodge, and so was my Uncle. This is why I joined Tenino Lodge, despite living 10 miles south in Centralia. I had known the Senior Deacon of Tenino Lodge since I was a kid, and I was familiar with most of the active members of that Lodge for a few years before I joined.
My Mother is an officer in the local OES Chapter, and my brother is also a member of Tenino Lodge. Yes, Freemasonry is totally a part of all my family’s lives.
But here’s another take on the subject of Family. I’ve never married. In this day and age, that’s not a big deal, but many of us have noted throughout the years, how many Worshipful Masters, Grand Lodge officers and Grand Masters have noted how important their wife (or having a wife) is in their Masonic Journey, and behind every good Mason is a good wife. I’ve also heard that some Brothers shouldn’t have taken on a leadership position because of their situation with their wife (or lack thereof.) As I type this, it has become more clear to me that most of these Brothers mean that if they are truly to succeed, they need the support of their wife. If the Brother’s wife is not supporting what he’s doing, it will make his job considerably more difficult. It doesn’t necessarily mean that a Mason will be at a severe disadvantage if he’s single compared to if he’s married, or that a Mason who is single is shut out of opportunities to contribute to our Fraternity.
One more very important thing concerning family. There are many family members of Brothers who take the Brotherhood of our Fraternity very seriously. I don’t have any biological nieces or nephews, but I do have several of each through our Fraternity. These young ladies and gentlemen truly consider me their uncle, and I have indeed overheard some of them introducing themselves to friends of mine as my niece or nephew. Now, my Brothers, I’m telling you, that means a LOT. It really does. But it’s also the same idea in the other direction, as when I joined, I gained several “Grandfathers,” as many of the active members of the Lodges were my grandfather’s age. While I never referred to them as “Grandpa,” I did mention to friends that they were like Grandfathers to me. That’s what this Fraternity does, and it’s one of the points I try to stress when friends ask me about this “Freemason group” I’m a very active member of.
I do think that it would be much more difficult to succeed as an elected Grand Lodge Officer without an involved Lady. There is a great deal that they do in order for things to be pulled off well.
That said, I don't think that means that a single guy is at a disadvantage.
I think what it means is that a single guy (or even a guy with an uninvolved wife) would be well served in finding a lady who enjoys all the stuff our ladies do, and drafting her into being his lady, not in a romantic sense, but in a Masonic sense. I do know of one GM who did this, perhaps two.
It is one of my biggest obstacles. I do not have the support and encouragement or any family history in the fraternity.
This lack of support is one of the many reasons I do not consider myself suitable for lodge leadership. Which isn't to say I wouldn't love to be in a vibrant educational lodge but the lack of family support means I can't travel to a vibrant lodge, and there are no such lodges local to me.
I understand what you are saying, because I can't see worth a darn in the dark. It's been a serious problem since about my mid 20's. If it weren't for the fact that my wife seems to enjoy Masonry as much as I do, I would have never been able to do nearly the traveling to Lodges that I've done. I certainly wouldn't be typing this from Silverdale tonight for example.
As a soon to be single guy, I haven’t had issues with family support. My daughter has been out of the nest for years, and I don’t interact with her mom at all.
But I have seen good decent men forced to give up masonry for their wife and family.
I feel sorry for the men who are forced to make those choices.
For some, spending all of their masonic life in OES is what they want. To me that isn’t much different than leaving masonry altogether.
Some can juggle it all and still maintain a healthy home life. But I’ve also talked to men whose fathers were masons that spent all their time in lodge, eastern star, or both, and as a kid they resented it.
It’s about priorities. It’s about balance. It’s about moderation in everything you do.
I think you hit it right on the head. Balance is the key.
I am lucky in that my wife is, for whatever reason, just about as gung ho for Masonry as I am. My daughters all seem to enjoy being involved as well. Heck, all three daughters spent last weekend at our Annual Communication.
The granddaughter seems to like it too, but I think that is because she walked me into the Installation, and at the tender age of 4, she is now convinced that the ceremony made her into a Queen.
I was already a Mason when I met my wife. When she introduced me to her dad that went fairly smooth when he saw my ring. He was a PM and it was then I learned of her being a Jobie and all the summers they spent in the park at Granite Falls.
She has been nothing but supportive and encouraging.
Like you, I met my wife when I was already a Mason. She didn't have any background in it, but she took to it right away.
In some ways, I think this may have been because she only ever knew one Grandfather, and while she very often talks extremely fondly of him, he died when she was still fairly young. I think that she sort of found a grandfather or two for herself within the Lodge. That's rather the impression I have anyway, much as Clayton mentioned above.