When we have a new JW in my Mother Lodge, I introduce them to my wife, Dorothy. I doubt Dorothy will ever join a Masonic organization but she will enthusiastically show by example what kind of impressive meal can be made and served for a couple hundred bucks. There’s always leftovers for those brothers without a Dorothy at home to overfeed them.
We also host and Dorothy caters our annual installation party (Daylight installs in July). I get a permit from the city to close the block and we invite all the families from the Lodge, Districts 4&5, and our neighbors on the block. It’s always fun.
The primary reason I do this is so my young brothers get to know my wife and my wife knows my young brothers. And I’m clear with my brothers and my wife as to why. Should anything happen to me, I want the relationship in place already.
Now we’re pretty fortunate. I’m a good earner and Dorothy has financial assets of her own to draw from should needs arise. What she’d need in that circumstance is emotional support and help with things an aging 5’2” female shouldn’t try on her own.
Also, Dorothy knows and my Daylight brothers know about what’s available through Washington Masonic Services and the wonderful case workers we have there. Dorothy knows she’s entitled to those services and she knows about widow’s pins (and at times believes she should be entitled to one now). She also knows I have every intention of outliving her but I don’t have full control of that.
As time goes by, it’s easier to get her to select Masonic functions if one or more of her favorites are there. And yes her name and mobile number is in Grandview.
I think that Melinda's situation is much the same. She knows lots of Masons, and lots of Masons know her. So, I always assumed that I'm good to go...
But, VW Clayton pointed out to me today that I'm probably missing the boat in one instance. What if we both croaked (or had a much more minor emergency) at the same time. Based on his advice, as of today, I've got our eldest daughter's contact information in our membership database. Good idea I think.
MW once again you created a masterpiece. Charity. I have spoke to the use of the word Charity often to anyone who was willing to listen. My students during proficiency coaching heard it for sure. The lodges who give money and time to their communities is wonderful but what if this occurs while our widows are forgotten? The children and grandchildren of Brothers might have access to Masonic education funds within our jurisdictions but no one checks in on them from the lodge during their school year to see if they need shoes and clothing. Charity must be given from within the Masonic Community while also seeking community involvement. If our lodges do not have an active Widows and Orphans program then they are falling short from their Obligations. MW Emeth keep up the hard work. This is a keeper! My 2c.
You hit on one of the bigger issues, a brother's contact information. I recently assisted a brother to get into grandview to pay his dues, and I reminded him of putting in that information. He was like "wow, what a great idea, I should do that right away". It's even worse come dues time, some brothers don't even list an email address or phone number. The #1 irritant with the secretary is not being able to get ahold of a brother to pay their dues. I'm a secretary for another smaller organization's chapter (same as a lodge) and it's not on the onus for the secretary to notify their members when their dues are needing renewal. We're all grown adults, we should be able to remember ourselves. If someone truly values his membership in the fraternity, he would make sure his responsibilities to the lodge are maintained.
Where I do quibble with the current system is the GL assessments. Those should be borne by the lodges, not the members, especially those with life memberships. Want the members to cover the assessment? Raise the dues instead. If a brother has a life membership, and is dropped NPD, what do you think happens to his life membership? The lodge loses it, and it's kept with grand lodge. It only makes financial sense for the lodges to keep that life membership with the lodge. It's not worth to throw away that money in perpetuity over a few bucks.
I know, all of this has little to do with the article Cameron Posted, but that's how I roll.
Clayton was kind enough to email me with a correction - NPD status doesn't effect the Life Membership disbursement, it stays with the last lodge he was a life member of. More than likely considered "inactive" much like a deceased member.
OES here doesn't send out dues notices, and there are four of us who are members. I very frequently forget to pay the dues as a result.
Or, at least I used to. Now the Chapter Secretary has season tickets to the playhouse right next to mine, so she collects like a Mafia cappo.
It doesn't help though that OES charges dues in March, while every other Masonic organization I belong to charges in December.
But yes, having been a Lodge Secretary, I agree, a lack of good contact information is the most frustrating thing. I've thought from time to time that we might do well to just make the provision of that information mandatory. Set up a laptop in the middle of a Lodge meeting, require every man present to get his information in there.
Of course that wouldn't catch the guys who don't attend, and I suppose those are the most frustrating of all.
I once made a motion that our widows not have to pay for a dinner that was given to raise money. We're talking a handful of ladies at $7 each at the time. My motion didn't get a second. It was one of the most disappointing moments in my journey.
Charity isn't just about meeting necessities, but contact and care. Even if they want for nothing, we can regularly contact them, acknowledge them, and now and then treat them to something.
I think part of the challenge is establishing enough of a relationship with out Brothers and their families that they are comfortable asking us for help in their time of need. Those relationships need to be firmly cemented before that time, or they are likely to be hesitant. Sometimes the lack of trust and concern can get in the way of our abilities to support those members. Or worse, if a family feels they are competing for time with Masonry, rather than a welcomed participant in our activities or events, it may even be a source of frustration than comfort.
One of the things I love about Centralia is the desire to include our families and loved ones where appropriate. Enabling them to be a meaningful part of the journey, and recognizing why we find value spending time in our Lodges.
I agree with you, Cameron.
When we have a new JW in my Mother Lodge, I introduce them to my wife, Dorothy. I doubt Dorothy will ever join a Masonic organization but she will enthusiastically show by example what kind of impressive meal can be made and served for a couple hundred bucks. There’s always leftovers for those brothers without a Dorothy at home to overfeed them.
We also host and Dorothy caters our annual installation party (Daylight installs in July). I get a permit from the city to close the block and we invite all the families from the Lodge, Districts 4&5, and our neighbors on the block. It’s always fun.
The primary reason I do this is so my young brothers get to know my wife and my wife knows my young brothers. And I’m clear with my brothers and my wife as to why. Should anything happen to me, I want the relationship in place already.
Now we’re pretty fortunate. I’m a good earner and Dorothy has financial assets of her own to draw from should needs arise. What she’d need in that circumstance is emotional support and help with things an aging 5’2” female shouldn’t try on her own.
Also, Dorothy knows and my Daylight brothers know about what’s available through Washington Masonic Services and the wonderful case workers we have there. Dorothy knows she’s entitled to those services and she knows about widow’s pins (and at times believes she should be entitled to one now). She also knows I have every intention of outliving her but I don’t have full control of that.
As time goes by, it’s easier to get her to select Masonic functions if one or more of her favorites are there. And yes her name and mobile number is in Grandview.
I think that Melinda's situation is much the same. She knows lots of Masons, and lots of Masons know her. So, I always assumed that I'm good to go...
But, VW Clayton pointed out to me today that I'm probably missing the boat in one instance. What if we both croaked (or had a much more minor emergency) at the same time. Based on his advice, as of today, I've got our eldest daughter's contact information in our membership database. Good idea I think.
MW once again you created a masterpiece. Charity. I have spoke to the use of the word Charity often to anyone who was willing to listen. My students during proficiency coaching heard it for sure. The lodges who give money and time to their communities is wonderful but what if this occurs while our widows are forgotten? The children and grandchildren of Brothers might have access to Masonic education funds within our jurisdictions but no one checks in on them from the lodge during their school year to see if they need shoes and clothing. Charity must be given from within the Masonic Community while also seeking community involvement. If our lodges do not have an active Widows and Orphans program then they are falling short from their Obligations. MW Emeth keep up the hard work. This is a keeper! My 2c.
Thank you Brother! I'm glad that you found some value in this essay!
I do agree, if we are giving to the community, while ignoring our own, we are missing the boat.
You hit on one of the bigger issues, a brother's contact information. I recently assisted a brother to get into grandview to pay his dues, and I reminded him of putting in that information. He was like "wow, what a great idea, I should do that right away". It's even worse come dues time, some brothers don't even list an email address or phone number. The #1 irritant with the secretary is not being able to get ahold of a brother to pay their dues. I'm a secretary for another smaller organization's chapter (same as a lodge) and it's not on the onus for the secretary to notify their members when their dues are needing renewal. We're all grown adults, we should be able to remember ourselves. If someone truly values his membership in the fraternity, he would make sure his responsibilities to the lodge are maintained.
Where I do quibble with the current system is the GL assessments. Those should be borne by the lodges, not the members, especially those with life memberships. Want the members to cover the assessment? Raise the dues instead. If a brother has a life membership, and is dropped NPD, what do you think happens to his life membership? The lodge loses it, and it's kept with grand lodge. It only makes financial sense for the lodges to keep that life membership with the lodge. It's not worth to throw away that money in perpetuity over a few bucks.
I know, all of this has little to do with the article Cameron Posted, but that's how I roll.
Clayton was kind enough to email me with a correction - NPD status doesn't effect the Life Membership disbursement, it stays with the last lodge he was a life member of. More than likely considered "inactive" much like a deceased member.
What VW Clayton mentioned is my understanding as well. It stays with the Lodge.
OES here doesn't send out dues notices, and there are four of us who are members. I very frequently forget to pay the dues as a result.
Or, at least I used to. Now the Chapter Secretary has season tickets to the playhouse right next to mine, so she collects like a Mafia cappo.
It doesn't help though that OES charges dues in March, while every other Masonic organization I belong to charges in December.
But yes, having been a Lodge Secretary, I agree, a lack of good contact information is the most frustrating thing. I've thought from time to time that we might do well to just make the provision of that information mandatory. Set up a laptop in the middle of a Lodge meeting, require every man present to get his information in there.
Of course that wouldn't catch the guys who don't attend, and I suppose those are the most frustrating of all.
I once made a motion that our widows not have to pay for a dinner that was given to raise money. We're talking a handful of ladies at $7 each at the time. My motion didn't get a second. It was one of the most disappointing moments in my journey.
Charity isn't just about meeting necessities, but contact and care. Even if they want for nothing, we can regularly contact them, acknowledge them, and now and then treat them to something.
>>>Charity isn't just about meeting necessities, but contact and care.
I agree, 100%.
Most of our widows won't ever need financial support. But every one of our widows will need contact and care.
We should not underestimate how important a listening ear can be.
I think part of the challenge is establishing enough of a relationship with out Brothers and their families that they are comfortable asking us for help in their time of need. Those relationships need to be firmly cemented before that time, or they are likely to be hesitant. Sometimes the lack of trust and concern can get in the way of our abilities to support those members. Or worse, if a family feels they are competing for time with Masonry, rather than a welcomed participant in our activities or events, it may even be a source of frustration than comfort.
One of the things I love about Centralia is the desire to include our families and loved ones where appropriate. Enabling them to be a meaningful part of the journey, and recognizing why we find value spending time in our Lodges.
Great post, and reminder Brother.
I have known of Masons who wrongly use Freemasonry as a way to escape from their family, family obligations.
As you mention, in such cases offered assistance from a Lodge may well be a source of frustration instead of comfort.
We do well to welcome families and ensure that they are comfortable with our Lodge and our Brothers.