an altar boy. Sang in the choir.. volunteered for various activities.. I abandoned belief in the organized Catholic faith I was raised in at the age of twelve when I experienced a power move by a church leader and it became clear that he chose church leadership as a profession not because of great faith but for power. My mother forced me to keep attending church for three more years but I stopped participating in anything. I didn't even bother cycling through the kneeling, standing, communion etc. I just sat quietly and read passages from the books. It was during this period that I developed an opinion that it's odd that catholic churches don't have bibles in the pews.
At 15 I was physically big enough to rebel more completely and refused to attend at all. For the next 9 years I considered myself an Atheist. I attended a few other churches with friends just to see but most protestant preachers seemed even worse than catholic priests.. More like used car salesmen, conmen, and sleazy womanizers than good men.
At 18 i went to college and Atheism was accepted as a valid spiritual choice. My faith based studies were academic.. I read all the major books.. Bible, Koran, bhagavadgita, Torah, Tao te ching, confuscian philosophy,, wisdom of the Buddha, and several lesser known. I was unaware of allegorical meanings hidden in texts at the time and nobody had ever bothered to teach me,, and my study of literal interpretation combined with a rigorous empirical scientific education led me to conclude that the 3 big western religions (Christianity, Islam, and judaism) were nothing but fanciful fiction designed for the pursuit of power.. Hinduism is just a mess.. Confucianism isn't a religion in the western sense at all. Taoism is more a practice than a faith. Buddhism stood alone in the world as a morally, spiritually and philosophically complete system without fanciful dogma from a literal interpretation.
To pay off college I joined the Army, and being an Atheist was actively persecuted. Believers got extra time off in basic training for prayer while atheists were assigned cafeteria cleaning duty during the same period. Mental health counseling in the military is strictly the province of the Chaplain corps which as you might imagine isn't friendly to Atheists.
When I submitted my application for officer candidate school, my battalion commander refused to sign it because of my status as an Atheist. I threatened a lawsuit on discrimination to get past that roadblock. It worked.
As time went on, I realized that I wasn't an Atheist because I didn't believe in something greater than myself, just that I thought all the current religions were small and petty.
My Dad told me once that if God were as great as the universe, he wouldn't fit into the pettiness of any earthly faith. He would be as vast as the universe and incorporate any number of cultures on this planet and who knows how many more on planets circling distant stars.
These days, my concept of God is not anthropomorphic at all. If you take the Force from star wars, and combine it with elements from Greek and Chinese moral philosophy, and elements of Buddhist spiritualism you will come close to my current concept of God. God to me is a universal cosmic force that arranges Chaos into order.. Neither good nor evil. Like Time, Gravity, and Magnetism. It just exists. Each of us is imbued with a piece of that cosmic energy. When we die that energy is released. Could it settle into a new body and be reincarnated? Certainly. Could it be absorbed into the more diffuse energy of the universal average? Yes. Is that Nirvana/heaven, to mingle with the universal constant? Could a spirit get stuck at a location unable to be reabsorbed. Does that explain ghosts? Is being stuck at your place of death hell? I don't know.
Regardless, I don't really care what someone else believes. As Thomas Jefferson wrote to John Adam's once... "what matter is it to me if a man believe in many gods, one God, or no gods, it neither breaks my leg nor picks my pocket." The point being that morality has nothing to do with religion. It stems from how we treat others. Respect for others' Life liberty and property are the universal goods. Battery, enslavement, and theft are the universal evils.
I'm not sure God has anything to do with morality at all but it is nice to think that there is an eternal reward for leading a humble and moral life, when here on earth the greatest rewards often go to the least moral people. The liars cheats thieves murderers politicians royals and human traffickers live lavish lifestyles at the expense of other's lives, liberty, and property.
Thank you for adding your perspective, and explaining your evolution of belief. I appreciated having the opportunity to read this.
Like you, I was raised Catholic, and like you I rebelled against that at a fairly young age. Some things taught just didn't make sense to me then, and still don't make sense now. I will say though that I do appreciate the tradition and the culture. There is something comforting about that. I think that the Roman Church can be a tremendous force for good in this world, but unfortunately much harm is done too.
I too tried a handful of other Churches. The ones I enjoyed were outside of the mainstream. I went to a 'biker' Church once and was quite impressed. I also find much to admire within Unitarianism.
I guess that for me, Freemasonry fulfills my spiritual needs. I don't see a need for anything further. I am not one of those who will claim that Freemasonry is not religious nor religion.
Your story about the Army brought back a fond memory of my father. He was a committed lover of cigarettes. I asked him once when he started, and he told me that the Army made him start. He explained that when he was in, if you smoked, you got plenty of smoke breaks, but that if you didn't smoke, no such breaks were given.
Ironically, the Army is actively against smoking now. The emphysema bills at the VA might have something to do with it. Still, there is a social aspect among smokers within the military and to fit in to that group you have to smoke. I briefly took up a pipe. By the time I had filled packed and lit a pipe, the cigarette guys had already gone through two cigarettes. I would get a couple Good puffs and have to smother the burn. I never finished a single bag of pipe tobacco. Still have the pipe and bag of tobacco sitting in my storage room. Haven't used it since 2009.
I love smoking a pipe, but do it fairly seldom. It's just not something done by many anymore.
I did, when this state outlawed ordering pipe tobacco through the mail some years ago, grow a little concerned that in time they will prohibit it. So, I slowly built up enough supply of fine English tobacco to last me the rest of my life.
If you would ever like to join me for a bowl, I'd love to have you!
I have three spaces I could fix up relatively easily.
My basement at my rental is a blank slate ready to be decorated. I had thought to turn it into a studio apartment but I could make it a study instead. It's biggest weakness is low ceilings.
My current house has nice decor but needs some rearranging. Right now my eldest son is living in the room that would be easiest to convert. He will graduate next year.
My livingroom already has the right size/shape and decor but as it shares an open floor plan with the kitchen, it offers no retreat from distractions.
My storage barn has a finished space that could be remodeled. It would need the most work but also has the most potential.
Reminds me of a theatre show I seen last night called Shen Yun, China Before Communism. The theme was when Aithiesm and totalitarian regiems take over, it leads to a break down in society and individualality. At the heart of many religious and philosophical points, humanity used to be Divine beings, but fell in the material realm. Over time this knowledge became suppressed because of desire and false images. Things of consecration became outward expressions like money and control over others. Even religion itself fell into this trap, including Christian Catholics, Jewish Yahwists, and Kharijites Muslims.
In particular with the show, government overreach is escalating and leaving a wake of suppression of speech, thought and expression.
I have heard in war, there is no such thing as an atheist, because everyone prays to make it out alive.
The word of God is what religion is centered around. So what is the "Truth?"
The Koine Greek word (Λόγος) "Logos" refers to The Word of Gof. It is a title for Jesus (Yahshuah) and also used in western philosophy.
The name Yahshuah or Logos, has been used as a verbal derivative from “to rescue” or “deliver". An example of this is found at the end of the Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6:13), “Deliver us from evil.” The earlier translators have Jesus teaching his disciples to set their hearts and mind on protection against evil, regardless of its origin. Translators of the older English versions rendered this Greek phrase "apo tou ponērou", as “from the toilsome” or “from bad.” Its usage from Strong’s Concordance is evil, bad, wicked, malicious, and slothful. When your heart (emotions) and mind (nous) are in alignment with virtue you speak and express your truth (Logos).
I was a dutiful Catholic in My youth..
an altar boy. Sang in the choir.. volunteered for various activities.. I abandoned belief in the organized Catholic faith I was raised in at the age of twelve when I experienced a power move by a church leader and it became clear that he chose church leadership as a profession not because of great faith but for power. My mother forced me to keep attending church for three more years but I stopped participating in anything. I didn't even bother cycling through the kneeling, standing, communion etc. I just sat quietly and read passages from the books. It was during this period that I developed an opinion that it's odd that catholic churches don't have bibles in the pews.
At 15 I was physically big enough to rebel more completely and refused to attend at all. For the next 9 years I considered myself an Atheist. I attended a few other churches with friends just to see but most protestant preachers seemed even worse than catholic priests.. More like used car salesmen, conmen, and sleazy womanizers than good men.
At 18 i went to college and Atheism was accepted as a valid spiritual choice. My faith based studies were academic.. I read all the major books.. Bible, Koran, bhagavadgita, Torah, Tao te ching, confuscian philosophy,, wisdom of the Buddha, and several lesser known. I was unaware of allegorical meanings hidden in texts at the time and nobody had ever bothered to teach me,, and my study of literal interpretation combined with a rigorous empirical scientific education led me to conclude that the 3 big western religions (Christianity, Islam, and judaism) were nothing but fanciful fiction designed for the pursuit of power.. Hinduism is just a mess.. Confucianism isn't a religion in the western sense at all. Taoism is more a practice than a faith. Buddhism stood alone in the world as a morally, spiritually and philosophically complete system without fanciful dogma from a literal interpretation.
To pay off college I joined the Army, and being an Atheist was actively persecuted. Believers got extra time off in basic training for prayer while atheists were assigned cafeteria cleaning duty during the same period. Mental health counseling in the military is strictly the province of the Chaplain corps which as you might imagine isn't friendly to Atheists.
When I submitted my application for officer candidate school, my battalion commander refused to sign it because of my status as an Atheist. I threatened a lawsuit on discrimination to get past that roadblock. It worked.
As time went on, I realized that I wasn't an Atheist because I didn't believe in something greater than myself, just that I thought all the current religions were small and petty.
My Dad told me once that if God were as great as the universe, he wouldn't fit into the pettiness of any earthly faith. He would be as vast as the universe and incorporate any number of cultures on this planet and who knows how many more on planets circling distant stars.
These days, my concept of God is not anthropomorphic at all. If you take the Force from star wars, and combine it with elements from Greek and Chinese moral philosophy, and elements of Buddhist spiritualism you will come close to my current concept of God. God to me is a universal cosmic force that arranges Chaos into order.. Neither good nor evil. Like Time, Gravity, and Magnetism. It just exists. Each of us is imbued with a piece of that cosmic energy. When we die that energy is released. Could it settle into a new body and be reincarnated? Certainly. Could it be absorbed into the more diffuse energy of the universal average? Yes. Is that Nirvana/heaven, to mingle with the universal constant? Could a spirit get stuck at a location unable to be reabsorbed. Does that explain ghosts? Is being stuck at your place of death hell? I don't know.
Regardless, I don't really care what someone else believes. As Thomas Jefferson wrote to John Adam's once... "what matter is it to me if a man believe in many gods, one God, or no gods, it neither breaks my leg nor picks my pocket." The point being that morality has nothing to do with religion. It stems from how we treat others. Respect for others' Life liberty and property are the universal goods. Battery, enslavement, and theft are the universal evils.
I'm not sure God has anything to do with morality at all but it is nice to think that there is an eternal reward for leading a humble and moral life, when here on earth the greatest rewards often go to the least moral people. The liars cheats thieves murderers politicians royals and human traffickers live lavish lifestyles at the expense of other's lives, liberty, and property.
Thank you for adding your perspective, and explaining your evolution of belief. I appreciated having the opportunity to read this.
Like you, I was raised Catholic, and like you I rebelled against that at a fairly young age. Some things taught just didn't make sense to me then, and still don't make sense now. I will say though that I do appreciate the tradition and the culture. There is something comforting about that. I think that the Roman Church can be a tremendous force for good in this world, but unfortunately much harm is done too.
I too tried a handful of other Churches. The ones I enjoyed were outside of the mainstream. I went to a 'biker' Church once and was quite impressed. I also find much to admire within Unitarianism.
I guess that for me, Freemasonry fulfills my spiritual needs. I don't see a need for anything further. I am not one of those who will claim that Freemasonry is not religious nor religion.
Your story about the Army brought back a fond memory of my father. He was a committed lover of cigarettes. I asked him once when he started, and he told me that the Army made him start. He explained that when he was in, if you smoked, you got plenty of smoke breaks, but that if you didn't smoke, no such breaks were given.
Ironically, the Army is actively against smoking now. The emphysema bills at the VA might have something to do with it. Still, there is a social aspect among smokers within the military and to fit in to that group you have to smoke. I briefly took up a pipe. By the time I had filled packed and lit a pipe, the cigarette guys had already gone through two cigarettes. I would get a couple Good puffs and have to smother the burn. I never finished a single bag of pipe tobacco. Still have the pipe and bag of tobacco sitting in my storage room. Haven't used it since 2009.
I love smoking a pipe, but do it fairly seldom. It's just not something done by many anymore.
I did, when this state outlawed ordering pipe tobacco through the mail some years ago, grow a little concerned that in time they will prohibit it. So, I slowly built up enough supply of fine English tobacco to last me the rest of my life.
If you would ever like to join me for a bowl, I'd love to have you!
For me, I'm still looking for the right setting. A nice Victorian study with leather furniture and leather-bound books is the right setting.
I'm almost set for that.
The new house has a great basement space with bath and separate entrance. It was, in the 1960's a hair salon.
Had the whole thing remodeled about a year ago. Figure it will be my perfect library/office/bar/smoking room.
Alas, oldest daughter moved back home, so has stolen the space from me, but one of these days!
I have three spaces I could fix up relatively easily.
My basement at my rental is a blank slate ready to be decorated. I had thought to turn it into a studio apartment but I could make it a study instead. It's biggest weakness is low ceilings.
My current house has nice decor but needs some rearranging. Right now my eldest son is living in the room that would be easiest to convert. He will graduate next year.
My livingroom already has the right size/shape and decor but as it shares an open floor plan with the kitchen, it offers no retreat from distractions.
My storage barn has a finished space that could be remodeled. It would need the most work but also has the most potential.
Reminds me of a theatre show I seen last night called Shen Yun, China Before Communism. The theme was when Aithiesm and totalitarian regiems take over, it leads to a break down in society and individualality. At the heart of many religious and philosophical points, humanity used to be Divine beings, but fell in the material realm. Over time this knowledge became suppressed because of desire and false images. Things of consecration became outward expressions like money and control over others. Even religion itself fell into this trap, including Christian Catholics, Jewish Yahwists, and Kharijites Muslims.
In particular with the show, government overreach is escalating and leaving a wake of suppression of speech, thought and expression.
I have heard in war, there is no such thing as an atheist, because everyone prays to make it out alive.
The word of God is what religion is centered around. So what is the "Truth?"
The Koine Greek word (Λόγος) "Logos" refers to The Word of Gof. It is a title for Jesus (Yahshuah) and also used in western philosophy.
The name Yahshuah or Logos, has been used as a verbal derivative from “to rescue” or “deliver". An example of this is found at the end of the Lord’s Prayer (Matthew 6:13), “Deliver us from evil.” The earlier translators have Jesus teaching his disciples to set their hearts and mind on protection against evil, regardless of its origin. Translators of the older English versions rendered this Greek phrase "apo tou ponērou", as “from the toilsome” or “from bad.” Its usage from Strong’s Concordance is evil, bad, wicked, malicious, and slothful. When your heart (emotions) and mind (nous) are in alignment with virtue you speak and express your truth (Logos).