Masculinity
'Toxic' Or Not, The World Needs It
Freemasonry is a school for manhood, and Masonic initiation can be a clear dividing line between a male’s childhood and adulthood.
MW Robert G. Davis, Past Grand Master of the Grand Lodge of Oklahoma makes these points much better than I ever could in his superb book In Search Of Light:
“The one element that defines our private association of men among all other groups is that Freemasonry is an Initiatic Society, a Mystery School which reveals the nature of man and his relationship to the Divine.” -RGD
“First and foremost, Freemasonry is an organization that instructs men how to be in control of their lives in conscious and responsible ways.” -RGD
“Through the rite of initiation, passing, and raising, Masons participate in the most ancient tradition of manhood. In every culture the world has known, men have yearned to be initiated into manhood.” -RGD
“The ritual ceremonies of Freemasonry are performed to convey one most powerful idea to the young person. He has left one life and is entering another.” -RGD
Each day on the news we see the men of Ukraine arming themselves, fighting and dying to protect their country, homes, and families. They are doing what men have always been called upon to do in the very worst of times, fight and die so that their wives and children might live.
This is a fundamental part of manhood, and has been such since the dawn of time.
As Masons, we do not celebrate war. Indeed as Albert Pike pointed out long ago, Freemasonry is the Great Peace Society of the World. Yet we, like all men, recognize that when attacked with violent aggression, the weak must be defended.
I found it quite disturbing when I read in the Miami Herald that in a poll conducted recently only 55% of Americans said that if the United States were invaded, they would stay and fight.
That number grows even worse when broken down by age group. Only 45% of those between the ages of 18 and 34, those most capable of resistance, would fight to protect the US from foreign invasion. The rest presumably feel no responsibility to defend the children down the block or the elderly neighbors across the street.
This clearly points to a crisis in masculinity in our country, and I think that this crisis is compounded in large measure because of isolation within our society.
People brag that ‘they are not joiners,’ and sit at home in front of their televisions, spend countless hours playing video games, and doom scroll through their social media feeds. Without, in far too many cases, any meaningful friendships outside of their primary relationship.
Church attendance is collapsing, service clubs are dying, not even the animal fraternities with their bars and partying seem able to survive. The most recent generations are self isolating, and seemingly to more extreme ends with each passing year.
This self isolation leads to a great many individual and societal harms, one of the largest being that intergenerational bonds of friendship and mentorship are not being formed.
Does the man of today who has built a true friendship with a man who fought in World War 2, answer the above poll quite differently than the incel who trudges from work to home each day, finding his only meaningful relationships behind a computer screen?
I think so.
I think that our older generations of men teach our younger generations of men how to be men. Until now, it has always been that way.
But today vast numbers of young men are raised by single mothers. Taught by female teachers, and grow up in a society that teaches them that they are somehow ‘toxic’ simply by being born male.
To develop into mentally and emotionally healthy men, they need male role models. They need to be instructed, by men, into what it means to be a man. They crave the acceptance of other men. But far too often today, the only affirmation they receive is from women.
This results, as the survey discussed above points out, in feminized men.
And that problem spirals out of control. Young men are constantly told by society that masculine behaviors are somehow ‘toxic.’ They are told to be sensitive, to ‘just listen,’ to be less manly. Yet, let’s be honest here, when it comes to desire, women want a man who can, and is willing to protect her and her children. She does not want a man who she perceives will run if she, or her children, are threatened. So, our young man is not successful in dating and spirals further and further away from those traits men need to possess.
Indeed, another recent poll shows that 26% of American adults have not had sex in over a year. As broader society seeks to somehow erase mature masculine characteristics we are collectively losing desire.
What do far too many men do instead? Consume ever increasing amounts of ever more bizarre pornography, abuse illegal drugs, shitpost on social media platforms, and pursue a wide range of other self destructive behaviors. Much of this is in full view every day to anyone who lives in our cities. Without moral men to emulate, these negative behaviors are natural, given that they are the path of least resistance.
If they are to grow to be quality men, good men, men of morality, young men need opportunities to find older men whom they can become friends with. They need to be able to find older men of high character whom they can emulate. Young men need quality male role models.
Freemasonry offers just that.
Outside of our Ancient Craft, those opportunities are extremely rare indeed.
Perhaps a story of my own can help me illustrate this point.
My first Masonic mentor, the man who helped me through my Degrees is about 20 years older than I am. I’ve admired him since we first met, and although we now live quite a distance from each other, we have remained good friends through the years.
About six months ago he asked me a serious question about a large change I had made in my life around the same time that I became a Mason. He wanted to know if Masonry had been a cause for the decision I made, and if so, why. He also wanted to know if the change had been positive for me or negative.
I didn’t answer him at the time, because I needed to think about his questions.
Think about them I did. I thought about them for those six months. Eventually, searching within myself, I found the answers.
He called me last week, and I told him that I was finally able to answer the questions he had asked so long ago. We met earlier today in a local restaurant and talked about it.
We find ourselves by looking deeply within ourselves. Masonry, the friendships that can build within it, and the protection provided by our obligations makes it possible for others to help challenge us to do just that. Just as my mentor through the Degrees was still able to challenge me to know myself.
Our Lodges possess what the young men of today desperately need. It is up to each of us to improve our own characters, to learn to be exemplary men today. In this way we are able to serve as proper role models for the young men of tomorrow.
As we initiate young men into our Craft, let us do it exceptionally well so that we create that mystic dividing line. That singular moment in time when a young man’s old life can pass from him, so that his new life can begin. Let us be true initiators, as our Work demands. Not performing degrees with chit chatting, poor ritual, or jokes, all things that destroy the experience.
Let us be ready to answer when that next young man knocks on our door.
Like every Sunday evening we will have a gathering, called Rummer & Grapes, via zoom tonight at 7:30 Pacific Time for all those who hold a paid subscription to Emeth. The email containing the zoom link will go out at 3:00PM. I hope that you will be able to join us!
If you enjoyed this post, will you consider forwarding it to your Masonic friends? In this way Emeth grows, and that results in new perspectives and deeper discussions as we explore Freemasonry together.
In something new for Emeth, we are going to start hosting occasional Masonic educational programs via zoom. Already scheduled are Question and Answer sessions with Washington’s Grand Lecturer, VW Larry Foley, and Washington’s Grand Historian VW Roger Nelson. Both of them will be talking about their vision for the future of our Fraternity.
Soon to be scheduled will be a historical presentation about Louisiana Freemasonry.
Please watch your email for details.
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The fraternity needs to take a serious look at one of the foundations of Freemasonry, “Making good men better”. If this is one of our foremost goals, then by succeeding in this area we rid our members of Toxic Masculinity. We become men who don’t abuse, don’t bully, look out for one another. We’re then able to teach our sons what it means to be a true man. We have, over the past 30-40 years, experienced the dumbing down of society. Teaching to the least common denominator and rewarding minimal effort. We see this in Freemasonry when we pass or raise a Brother based solely on his ability to memorize and recite words. Has the Brother been taught, or learned, what it means to be a Fellow or Master?
All societies move in a circular fashion. “Hard times create hard men, hard men create good times, good times create soft men, soft men create hard times”, even this of ours.
Great work. I still remember the old TV show “Murphy Brown” where Candice Bergman’s character decided to become a single mom. The reactions from both sides was very telling. The controversy surrounding this show really was polarizing, even in the early 90s. While the left blasted VP Dan Quayle for his remarks about children needing a father, Candice herself said in later interviews that she agreed with a lot of what the VP said.
It used to be a badge of shame to be a single mother. Now it is celebrated and our welfare system actually promotes it. If we removed the welfare incentives, perhaps women will get the fathers to support them instead of the state (taxpayers).