If your Lodge has a member who is badly spiraling downward, due to drugs, alcohol, or some other severe issue. And his behavior at Lodge is causing serious problems for the Lodge. And ‘whispering good counsel’ has done no good…
What is the best course of action for his Brothers to take?
Is the filing of Masonic Charges the only option, or is there something else that they can try before that drastic step?
I suspect that too mnay of us have stories of personal pain. We have stories of how we have tried to pull back a loved one from the abiss, and how we have watched as every effort failed. I remember being told "God answers all our prayers. Sometimes the answer is 'no". And I remember standing over caskets, and in my heart the endless replay of the words "What if".
Masonry is unique. Here, behind the doors to the outer world, we find a brotherly love and frienship to be found in few other places during our lives. The words "In token of my brotherly love and friendship I will tender you my right hand" has a meaning to me, and it is not a small meaning. And so the conflict of heart and of duty.
"Whispering good council" has failed. Stronger good council from the East has failed. What then? That "whispering good council" may take the form that an intervention where the Brother either takes a Demitt or faces Masonic Charges. We hope this could be a turning point. But what evidence do we have of any success in this action. Worse, are we not just passing the problem on to the next WM? Worse yet, are we not creating a culture of hiding a problem rather than the surgical removal of a cancer to the Craft?
I have questions, but few answers. Or maybe it's that I know the answer, but I dont want to admit it to myself. "God answers all our prayers. Sometimes the answer is no". But where is that point where "No" is the only option?
Well, depends, really. Has this brother actually violated his oaths as a mason or broken the law in general? What sort of behavior are we referring to? Behaving badly is a subjective and arbitrary determination depending on a persons point of view.
There once was an old past master of a lodge, who was a retired navy chief. He loved freemasonry, and cared deeply for the lodge and the fraternity, probably too much. His gruff outspoken personality and chief mentality was hard for some people to take because they didn’t like being called out for their own shortcomings as masons. But the old chief wasn’t lying, people just didn’t like to hear the truth. His behavior ran off quite a few of the members, so much so that directly or indirectly led to the death of the lodge.
But the thing is, nothing he did violated any rules or laws. You can’t kick out a mason because he hurt your feelings. But on the other hand, he did more harm to masonry than someone who got a dui and punched a cop (just an example).
How many shrinks does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change.
. . .
The EA working tools provide guidance on this subject. The 24in Gauge reminds us to divide our time. Small vices like scotch and cigars may share the hours for refreshments and sleep, or in the pursuit of fellowship in service of God or distressed worthy brethren. The problem arises when the vice takes time away from the pursuits of balanced men. If the vice causes a man to lose his job, not get enough sleep, or neglect his divine responsibilities to his family, then he should employ the second EA working tool to divest himself of that vicious superfluidity, or superfluous vice to bring his life back into balance. If he refuses to do so, he is not living a masonic life and the brethren may be forced to use the gavel to divest their lodge of a rough edge.
Often we hear apologists for police abuse claim "it's just one bad apple" but the proverb is completed as "one bad apple ruins the bunch" Any organization that allows bad apples to remain in its midst will suffer a contamination that will seep rot into the entire organization.
I tend to think about Masonic charges as being similar to throwing a black cube in a vote. Must be reserved as a last resort and should always be an option, but it's never a good option, and if you have to use it, it is an indicator that something else earlier in the process probably failed badly.
a lot of "how to intervene" ends up going back to setting and enforcing firm boundaries. Which behaviors that actually aren't good are being silently tolerated? You might have "escalating interventions"
- whisper good council
- publicly state what the norms are without naming that brother
- call that brother out and specifically tell him *which* behavior is inappropriate
those are just 3 ideas, maybe there are others, masonic charges are definitely at the end of the path after all of those haven't worked
My experience in Lodge, and life, is that good boundaries are very important in any relationship, but most especially in a relationship with someone who is struggling with a personal demon. This can be addiction issues, mental and emotional issues, even behavioral issues. Our natural tendency in many cases is to accommodate bad behavior, by demonstrating tolerance and assuming the best. Day to day we all have bad moments and anyone can have a temporary lapse of judgement. Application of our tolerance under these occasions is part of brotherhood. No one is perfect, and many of us learn best after a mistake. But when bad behavior becomes habitual, and whispering good counsel has failed, then the appropriately graduated application of increasing punitive actions is likely to be the best action, for the Lodge and the brother.
In my study of Buddhism, and particularly the ideas around compassion, I came across the idea of “idiot compassion”. An addict in need of a fix is suffering, and a fix would relieve that suffering. Now we all know that relief is temporary and will lead to even deeper suffering. That kind of compassion is” idiot compassion”. Tolerating bad behavior will only prolong it, and if a person is acting out in Lodge they are probably acting out in other places. If we allow that behavior, we are encouraging it, and subsequently we are harming our brother, his family, his friends, and his future. Alternatively, a brother may be acting out because of some stress in his personal life we don’t know about, and he is reluctant to share. If we are brothers, if we truly care, then NOT allowing the bad behavior may compel the brother to address whatever issue is driving the bad behavior.
A brother who is consistently acting badly can become the ‘effective’ master of the Lodge. Because the Lodge is always responding to the bad choices of such a brother, that brother has effectively taken control of the Lodge. If allowed to continue the entire Lodge will take on the pathology of that brother and become dysfunctional. I have seen this happen when a particularly unpleasant past master brings the whole Lodge down. Such Lodges become absent the Light of Masonry.
The other side of this issue, tolerating destructive behavior is as exhausting as it is frustrating. If we are in a relationship that is always draining us emotionally, eventually we will sever that relationship, as a matter of survival. Good boundaries establish limits and allow us to control the impact of bad behavior on us, this gives us space to respond thoughtfully and compassionately without “flipping out” out of frustration or fear and doing or saying something that makes matters worse. This applies equally to an individual and a Lodge.
So, yes. As soon as behavior becomes an issue, and it has become clear that whispering good counsel will not work, the Lodge leadership needs to develop a plan of action that has clear consequences to bad behavior that is fair, that is appropriately graduated, isw communicated clearly and ultimately brings charges BEFORE the Lodge or the brother are permanently harmed. This plan must put the choice to improve behavior on the brother, and recognize that brother can choose to NOT make the right choices. If a brother chooses to address issues, then we as his brothers should do everything we can to help him, as long as he is honestly working to improve himself. In my opinion this is compassion.
One option is an intervention, led by a Qualified Chemical Dependency Councilor, plus the District Deputy, Worshipful Master, Senior & Junior Wardens. The call is on the QCDC to require a Drug & Alcohol evaluation and or develop a Treatment Plan.
Second option is to have a Mental Health Professional lead the intervention, plus the District Deputy, Worshipful Master, Senior & Junior Wardens. The call is on the Mental Health Professional, which can do an evaluation, develop a Treatment Plan and or prescribe drugs that can help the individual.
I wrote and submitted many Deferred Prosecution Treatment Plans as part of legal defenses to Judges and Courts. I believe we do not throw away the baby with the bath water, yet there is a limit to options, some can not be saved and many just die due to their addictions.
Proactively, an intervention needs to occur as previously described. The Grand Lodge Code, proactively needs to have provisions to accommodate and or have remedies for Deferred Prosecution Charges and it’s Treatment Plans options, concerning alcohol, other drugs and or inappropriate behavioral problems.
Masonry has outlines rules of conduct, and by taking oath to whichever Holy Book an initiate places his hands on, I believe that implies the laws of that book. For example, in the Holy Bible, Ephesians 5:18: “Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, Galatians 5:19-21: The acts of the sinful nature are obvious:… drunkenness, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.”
Conducts are laid out in many Masonic Manuscripts, but I have yet to find misconduct directly usage of drugs or alcohol. This becomes a little more interpreted to the Lodges, but also it is a moral law or theology. The first moral laws used in Masonry go back to the Noachide Faith; the descendants of Noah. A term applied to Freemasons on the theory, derived from the 'legend of the craft,' that Noah was the father and founder of the Masonic system of theology. And hence the Freemasons claim to be his descendants, because in times past they preserved the pure principles of his religion amid the corruptions of surrounding faiths. Dr. Anderson first used the word in this sense in the second edition of the Book of Constitutions: 'A Mason is obliged by his tenure to observe the moral law as a true Noachida.' But he was not the inventor of the term, for it occurs in a letter sent by the Grand Lodge of Calcutta in 1735, which letter is preserved among the Rawlinson MSS. in the Bodleian Library, Oxford. (See Ars Quartuor Coronatorum, xi., 35.)
Drunkenness exemplifies the dangers and repulsiveness of intemperance. The holy patriarch, Noah, had been a rare example of frugality and temperance, losing all self-possession, did, in a base and shameful manner, prostrate himself naked on the ground, so as to become a laughing-stock to all. Therefore with what care ought we to cultivate sobriety, lest anything like this, or even worse, should happen to us?
It would be fitting as mentioned to whisper good counsel. It should be noted that alcohol or drug use is considered by many a disease and it’s not an easy thing to quite. However, one discovering his use is a mental and emotional defect is the greatest joy an alcoholic or drug addict can discover. I am a recovering alcoholic, with 28 months of sobriety. I would be willing to assist and mentor a brother in recovery if it were his desire. If he commits transgression against Masonic code and conduct, then expulsion should be left for the brothers of his lodge to decide whether or not to have Masonic Charges brought on him, no doubt.
The other thing to think about is, should alcohol be allowed at lodges? I have been member of lodges in four states, and this is the only state where I seen it was made available at the lodge. Perhaps there should be a little more stringent rules on when and where it is permissible?
Regarding WB Glenn Geiss' comment, I too, was a member of that Lodge which died. There was a Brother who had a problem with alcohol, yet was in the line to become Master. Due to his alcoholism, he was not able to recall the Ritual nor conduct a meeting. Several of the other officers approached him and *suggested* he step down until he could make a recovery. That's one way to approach the problem. I make no bones about it--I am a recovering alcoholic, with more than 35 years being clean and sober. And my recovery started with me becoming a Mason. A very good friend approached me after a meeting and gently suggested that I "circumscribe my passion" for booze. That advice took about a year to take root in me, but it worked! Problem Brothers can be rescued, but it may take a while. I would save Masonic Charges for a last resort.
There are behaviors that may have a root cause on substance abuse, or they may not, but such behaviors are still destructive.
A long time ago I knew of a brother who, when in mixed company, would hibitually make sexually suggestive remarks to the wives of Masons. Along with the remarks there were off color jokes. It got to the point that wives and girlfriends would no longer attend any function of the Lodge.
One woman made a comment I'll never forget "This Masonic Lodge of yours is nothing more than a Frat House for middle aged men." And the real sting of her remark was that she was right. Who would want their son or daugher in such an environment?
Point in the circle, unity, harmony, Temperance and Justice all come to mind. We voluntarily join this Fraternity and each of us learn the same lessons about what is expected from us. Each of us are responsible for our actions and the words that we select to put into the world. We are accountable so far as we knowingly or willfully go against these things. I don't believe that people (Masons especially) consciously choose to be mean, contentious, or disruptive. They may have strong opinions or reasons for their behavior. They may not be in control of their behavior because of mental health or substance reasons. Those are not things that the men in a Lodge can fix. They can show compassion, ask questions, provide guidance and help a struggling individual connect to resources to help them work through their challenges, but the bottom line is that the group has to set boundaries for civil conduct and behavior and stick to them. They can recommend alternatives to Masonic charges, but I think also be prepared to use that tool of last resort, if necessary. The disruptive person learns from the people they associate with what works and doesn't, so it is important to be clear, firm, and consistent about about boundaries and expectations for behavior and conduct, and to be prepared as leaders to make difficult decisions that are in the best interest of the Lodge and its ability to uphold Masonic values and conduct its work accordingly.
This topic deserves a lot of ink! I've been in two Lodges that were terrorized by bad apples. The first was so bad, that when the bad apple was elected Master, most of the Brothers stayed home and did not return until following next election. The bad Master wondered out loud where everyone was as the meetings barely had enough present to open. Some of us told him that those absent may have something to say but he(Master) was going to have contact them and try to determine the problem. In a few cases he (Master) did manage to visit with some and got untrue responses as they did not want to offend him or confront his anger. The Lodge survived but only barely. Sadly, the bad Master passed away a couple years later and his son told us that the deceased Past Master desired a Masonic funeral service. We had to really scramble to assemble a team! Very sad!
The next situational "Bad Apple" went on for years and was so verbose that he was avoided by most everyone. Several of us approached him as Masons and explained that his behavior must change or the Lodge would/could be destroyed. We even gave him sound examples of correct ways to talk with others. He was always enraged by these gentle interventions and the offers of help ceased. Worse, eventually the bad apple got in the SW chair due to complete indifference by the Lodge membership. Apathy was so bad that most would not discuss the coming train wreck and the Bad Apple was elected to the East. Holy Mackerel. During his term some legal issues were raised about handling Lodge funds and a secret committee met and drafted a letter of specific complaints to be sent to the Grand Master. There were more complications and a Special Deputy assisted the ordeal. The bad apple was expelled from the Craft as a sitting Master. This was the second time he had been confronted with charges of un-Masonic behavior!
Many of the Brothers have returned to give good service to the Brotherhood but we all have a strong will to "Guard the West Gate".
Both of the situations with bad apples could well have been resolved favorably with very early intervention. How we interact and behave with our brothers is vitally important and each of us has really different views on good/bad, wrong/right, nice/nasty, etc. I sort of compare these situations to raising my children. I didn't really know the best things to do but now that these children are mature and out on their own, I have all sorts of helpful ideas on chid-raising. The same situation exists in bad behavior intervention within a Lodge. I know there exists ample resources to assist with intervention skills. As well, there are many opportunities to learn good leadership skills. How about the Warden's conferences for example?
You guys have rules? I thought the only rule was your obligations to secrecy. I figured because you're a brotherhood of all faiths no rules could be enforced because of the infinite scope of beliefs.
I suspect that too mnay of us have stories of personal pain. We have stories of how we have tried to pull back a loved one from the abiss, and how we have watched as every effort failed. I remember being told "God answers all our prayers. Sometimes the answer is 'no". And I remember standing over caskets, and in my heart the endless replay of the words "What if".
Masonry is unique. Here, behind the doors to the outer world, we find a brotherly love and frienship to be found in few other places during our lives. The words "In token of my brotherly love and friendship I will tender you my right hand" has a meaning to me, and it is not a small meaning. And so the conflict of heart and of duty.
"Whispering good council" has failed. Stronger good council from the East has failed. What then? That "whispering good council" may take the form that an intervention where the Brother either takes a Demitt or faces Masonic Charges. We hope this could be a turning point. But what evidence do we have of any success in this action. Worse, are we not just passing the problem on to the next WM? Worse yet, are we not creating a culture of hiding a problem rather than the surgical removal of a cancer to the Craft?
I have questions, but few answers. Or maybe it's that I know the answer, but I dont want to admit it to myself. "God answers all our prayers. Sometimes the answer is no". But where is that point where "No" is the only option?
Well, depends, really. Has this brother actually violated his oaths as a mason or broken the law in general? What sort of behavior are we referring to? Behaving badly is a subjective and arbitrary determination depending on a persons point of view.
There once was an old past master of a lodge, who was a retired navy chief. He loved freemasonry, and cared deeply for the lodge and the fraternity, probably too much. His gruff outspoken personality and chief mentality was hard for some people to take because they didn’t like being called out for their own shortcomings as masons. But the old chief wasn’t lying, people just didn’t like to hear the truth. His behavior ran off quite a few of the members, so much so that directly or indirectly led to the death of the lodge.
But the thing is, nothing he did violated any rules or laws. You can’t kick out a mason because he hurt your feelings. But on the other hand, he did more harm to masonry than someone who got a dui and punched a cop (just an example).
How many shrinks does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change.
. . .
The EA working tools provide guidance on this subject. The 24in Gauge reminds us to divide our time. Small vices like scotch and cigars may share the hours for refreshments and sleep, or in the pursuit of fellowship in service of God or distressed worthy brethren. The problem arises when the vice takes time away from the pursuits of balanced men. If the vice causes a man to lose his job, not get enough sleep, or neglect his divine responsibilities to his family, then he should employ the second EA working tool to divest himself of that vicious superfluidity, or superfluous vice to bring his life back into balance. If he refuses to do so, he is not living a masonic life and the brethren may be forced to use the gavel to divest their lodge of a rough edge.
Often we hear apologists for police abuse claim "it's just one bad apple" but the proverb is completed as "one bad apple ruins the bunch" Any organization that allows bad apples to remain in its midst will suffer a contamination that will seep rot into the entire organization.
I tend to think about Masonic charges as being similar to throwing a black cube in a vote. Must be reserved as a last resort and should always be an option, but it's never a good option, and if you have to use it, it is an indicator that something else earlier in the process probably failed badly.
a lot of "how to intervene" ends up going back to setting and enforcing firm boundaries. Which behaviors that actually aren't good are being silently tolerated? You might have "escalating interventions"
- whisper good council
- publicly state what the norms are without naming that brother
- call that brother out and specifically tell him *which* behavior is inappropriate
those are just 3 ideas, maybe there are others, masonic charges are definitely at the end of the path after all of those haven't worked
My experience in Lodge, and life, is that good boundaries are very important in any relationship, but most especially in a relationship with someone who is struggling with a personal demon. This can be addiction issues, mental and emotional issues, even behavioral issues. Our natural tendency in many cases is to accommodate bad behavior, by demonstrating tolerance and assuming the best. Day to day we all have bad moments and anyone can have a temporary lapse of judgement. Application of our tolerance under these occasions is part of brotherhood. No one is perfect, and many of us learn best after a mistake. But when bad behavior becomes habitual, and whispering good counsel has failed, then the appropriately graduated application of increasing punitive actions is likely to be the best action, for the Lodge and the brother.
In my study of Buddhism, and particularly the ideas around compassion, I came across the idea of “idiot compassion”. An addict in need of a fix is suffering, and a fix would relieve that suffering. Now we all know that relief is temporary and will lead to even deeper suffering. That kind of compassion is” idiot compassion”. Tolerating bad behavior will only prolong it, and if a person is acting out in Lodge they are probably acting out in other places. If we allow that behavior, we are encouraging it, and subsequently we are harming our brother, his family, his friends, and his future. Alternatively, a brother may be acting out because of some stress in his personal life we don’t know about, and he is reluctant to share. If we are brothers, if we truly care, then NOT allowing the bad behavior may compel the brother to address whatever issue is driving the bad behavior.
A brother who is consistently acting badly can become the ‘effective’ master of the Lodge. Because the Lodge is always responding to the bad choices of such a brother, that brother has effectively taken control of the Lodge. If allowed to continue the entire Lodge will take on the pathology of that brother and become dysfunctional. I have seen this happen when a particularly unpleasant past master brings the whole Lodge down. Such Lodges become absent the Light of Masonry.
The other side of this issue, tolerating destructive behavior is as exhausting as it is frustrating. If we are in a relationship that is always draining us emotionally, eventually we will sever that relationship, as a matter of survival. Good boundaries establish limits and allow us to control the impact of bad behavior on us, this gives us space to respond thoughtfully and compassionately without “flipping out” out of frustration or fear and doing or saying something that makes matters worse. This applies equally to an individual and a Lodge.
So, yes. As soon as behavior becomes an issue, and it has become clear that whispering good counsel will not work, the Lodge leadership needs to develop a plan of action that has clear consequences to bad behavior that is fair, that is appropriately graduated, isw communicated clearly and ultimately brings charges BEFORE the Lodge or the brother are permanently harmed. This plan must put the choice to improve behavior on the brother, and recognize that brother can choose to NOT make the right choices. If a brother chooses to address issues, then we as his brothers should do everything we can to help him, as long as he is honestly working to improve himself. In my opinion this is compassion.
One option is an intervention, led by a Qualified Chemical Dependency Councilor, plus the District Deputy, Worshipful Master, Senior & Junior Wardens. The call is on the QCDC to require a Drug & Alcohol evaluation and or develop a Treatment Plan.
Second option is to have a Mental Health Professional lead the intervention, plus the District Deputy, Worshipful Master, Senior & Junior Wardens. The call is on the Mental Health Professional, which can do an evaluation, develop a Treatment Plan and or prescribe drugs that can help the individual.
I wrote and submitted many Deferred Prosecution Treatment Plans as part of legal defenses to Judges and Courts. I believe we do not throw away the baby with the bath water, yet there is a limit to options, some can not be saved and many just die due to their addictions.
Proactively, an intervention needs to occur as previously described. The Grand Lodge Code, proactively needs to have provisions to accommodate and or have remedies for Deferred Prosecution Charges and it’s Treatment Plans options, concerning alcohol, other drugs and or inappropriate behavioral problems.
Masonry has outlines rules of conduct, and by taking oath to whichever Holy Book an initiate places his hands on, I believe that implies the laws of that book. For example, in the Holy Bible, Ephesians 5:18: “Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, Galatians 5:19-21: The acts of the sinful nature are obvious:… drunkenness, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.”
Conducts are laid out in many Masonic Manuscripts, but I have yet to find misconduct directly usage of drugs or alcohol. This becomes a little more interpreted to the Lodges, but also it is a moral law or theology. The first moral laws used in Masonry go back to the Noachide Faith; the descendants of Noah. A term applied to Freemasons on the theory, derived from the 'legend of the craft,' that Noah was the father and founder of the Masonic system of theology. And hence the Freemasons claim to be his descendants, because in times past they preserved the pure principles of his religion amid the corruptions of surrounding faiths. Dr. Anderson first used the word in this sense in the second edition of the Book of Constitutions: 'A Mason is obliged by his tenure to observe the moral law as a true Noachida.' But he was not the inventor of the term, for it occurs in a letter sent by the Grand Lodge of Calcutta in 1735, which letter is preserved among the Rawlinson MSS. in the Bodleian Library, Oxford. (See Ars Quartuor Coronatorum, xi., 35.)
Drunkenness exemplifies the dangers and repulsiveness of intemperance. The holy patriarch, Noah, had been a rare example of frugality and temperance, losing all self-possession, did, in a base and shameful manner, prostrate himself naked on the ground, so as to become a laughing-stock to all. Therefore with what care ought we to cultivate sobriety, lest anything like this, or even worse, should happen to us?
It would be fitting as mentioned to whisper good counsel. It should be noted that alcohol or drug use is considered by many a disease and it’s not an easy thing to quite. However, one discovering his use is a mental and emotional defect is the greatest joy an alcoholic or drug addict can discover. I am a recovering alcoholic, with 28 months of sobriety. I would be willing to assist and mentor a brother in recovery if it were his desire. If he commits transgression against Masonic code and conduct, then expulsion should be left for the brothers of his lodge to decide whether or not to have Masonic Charges brought on him, no doubt.
The other thing to think about is, should alcohol be allowed at lodges? I have been member of lodges in four states, and this is the only state where I seen it was made available at the lodge. Perhaps there should be a little more stringent rules on when and where it is permissible?
Regarding WB Glenn Geiss' comment, I too, was a member of that Lodge which died. There was a Brother who had a problem with alcohol, yet was in the line to become Master. Due to his alcoholism, he was not able to recall the Ritual nor conduct a meeting. Several of the other officers approached him and *suggested* he step down until he could make a recovery. That's one way to approach the problem. I make no bones about it--I am a recovering alcoholic, with more than 35 years being clean and sober. And my recovery started with me becoming a Mason. A very good friend approached me after a meeting and gently suggested that I "circumscribe my passion" for booze. That advice took about a year to take root in me, but it worked! Problem Brothers can be rescued, but it may take a while. I would save Masonic Charges for a last resort.
There are behaviors that may have a root cause on substance abuse, or they may not, but such behaviors are still destructive.
A long time ago I knew of a brother who, when in mixed company, would hibitually make sexually suggestive remarks to the wives of Masons. Along with the remarks there were off color jokes. It got to the point that wives and girlfriends would no longer attend any function of the Lodge.
One woman made a comment I'll never forget "This Masonic Lodge of yours is nothing more than a Frat House for middle aged men." And the real sting of her remark was that she was right. Who would want their son or daugher in such an environment?
Point in the circle, unity, harmony, Temperance and Justice all come to mind. We voluntarily join this Fraternity and each of us learn the same lessons about what is expected from us. Each of us are responsible for our actions and the words that we select to put into the world. We are accountable so far as we knowingly or willfully go against these things. I don't believe that people (Masons especially) consciously choose to be mean, contentious, or disruptive. They may have strong opinions or reasons for their behavior. They may not be in control of their behavior because of mental health or substance reasons. Those are not things that the men in a Lodge can fix. They can show compassion, ask questions, provide guidance and help a struggling individual connect to resources to help them work through their challenges, but the bottom line is that the group has to set boundaries for civil conduct and behavior and stick to them. They can recommend alternatives to Masonic charges, but I think also be prepared to use that tool of last resort, if necessary. The disruptive person learns from the people they associate with what works and doesn't, so it is important to be clear, firm, and consistent about about boundaries and expectations for behavior and conduct, and to be prepared as leaders to make difficult decisions that are in the best interest of the Lodge and its ability to uphold Masonic values and conduct its work accordingly.
This topic deserves a lot of ink! I've been in two Lodges that were terrorized by bad apples. The first was so bad, that when the bad apple was elected Master, most of the Brothers stayed home and did not return until following next election. The bad Master wondered out loud where everyone was as the meetings barely had enough present to open. Some of us told him that those absent may have something to say but he(Master) was going to have contact them and try to determine the problem. In a few cases he (Master) did manage to visit with some and got untrue responses as they did not want to offend him or confront his anger. The Lodge survived but only barely. Sadly, the bad Master passed away a couple years later and his son told us that the deceased Past Master desired a Masonic funeral service. We had to really scramble to assemble a team! Very sad!
The next situational "Bad Apple" went on for years and was so verbose that he was avoided by most everyone. Several of us approached him as Masons and explained that his behavior must change or the Lodge would/could be destroyed. We even gave him sound examples of correct ways to talk with others. He was always enraged by these gentle interventions and the offers of help ceased. Worse, eventually the bad apple got in the SW chair due to complete indifference by the Lodge membership. Apathy was so bad that most would not discuss the coming train wreck and the Bad Apple was elected to the East. Holy Mackerel. During his term some legal issues were raised about handling Lodge funds and a secret committee met and drafted a letter of specific complaints to be sent to the Grand Master. There were more complications and a Special Deputy assisted the ordeal. The bad apple was expelled from the Craft as a sitting Master. This was the second time he had been confronted with charges of un-Masonic behavior!
Many of the Brothers have returned to give good service to the Brotherhood but we all have a strong will to "Guard the West Gate".
Both of the situations with bad apples could well have been resolved favorably with very early intervention. How we interact and behave with our brothers is vitally important and each of us has really different views on good/bad, wrong/right, nice/nasty, etc. I sort of compare these situations to raising my children. I didn't really know the best things to do but now that these children are mature and out on their own, I have all sorts of helpful ideas on chid-raising. The same situation exists in bad behavior intervention within a Lodge. I know there exists ample resources to assist with intervention skills. As well, there are many opportunities to learn good leadership skills. How about the Warden's conferences for example?
You guys have rules? I thought the only rule was your obligations to secrecy. I figured because you're a brotherhood of all faiths no rules could be enforced because of the infinite scope of beliefs.