When you became a Mason, what were you required to learn or do in order to advance through the Degrees? Did a mentor or mentors help you with that? If so, do you feel that you were mentored well? Has that experience stuck with you as you’ve grown in Masonry? How can we, as a Fraternity, improve the experience for our candidates?
VWB Ron Singleton helped me the "Additional Proficiency" for my First Degree. RW Cameron helped me with my in Lodge Proficiency for my First Degree. WB Rich Lathrope helped me prepare for my first Conferral which was for 5 EA's. VW Clayton La Vigne has offered me invaluable help along the way and has been an inspiration to emulate him. I have found that each Lodge meeting I go to is a "Class" and I learn something from each one. So far I have attended a Stated Meeting in 51 different Lodges and I think much can be gained by doing that.
I think that you are exactly right about the importance of visiting other Lodges. My own good ideas have always largely been things that I saw other Lodges doing, and I just brought them back with me.
By visiting we get to see what others might do better than us, and it is mighty easy to then adopt better practices.
When I look back on my time going through the degrees, I remember a lot of men who I consider as mentors.
VW Larry, who at that time was a fairly new Mason himself, took on the role of driving me to Lodge those first few months. The drive gave him a chance to talk with me about Masonry, and it gave me the opportunity to ask any questions I might have. He also drove me to visit other Lodges, almost killing us both on I-405 while headed to Lakeside Lodge, but we did manage to survive.
W Andre, who was my 'official' mentor, would meet with me quite frequently in his beautiful home, sharing his scotch. He taught me the Posting Lectures. Even more importantly, he shared his large Masonic library with me, and pointed me in the direction of finding books and information about my own unique Masonic interests.
W Tom was the Worshipful Master at the time. He drove me around to visit other Lodges too. This time in the car, which I had a lot of with Larry, Andre, and Tom, was truly a great way to get to know the men of my Lodge. Even when Andre and I drove all the way to Vashon Island to visit the Lodge there, only to find out that we were a week early! It was good though, we managed to track down the Lodge Secretary, and ended up spending some time, and sharing a meal with him.
VW Cary was the Grand Lecturer at the time. He performed my Fellow Craft lecture. He did it so amazingly well that I didn't truly understand that it was being done from memory. It seemed to me, at the time, that he and I were just having a conversation. I've never forgotten something he told me that night, that "No man ever joined Freemasonry to sit through a business meeting." I've tried to hold on to that wisdom throughout my entire Masonic career.
MW Sam also stands out strongly in my mind. I was the first person in quite a while in my Lodge to actually do the Posting Lectures. The Lodge had relied for quite awhile on the Alternate Proficiency. Well, there was one small hiccup, in one of the Degrees. That was that there was a part of the Lecture in which no one in the Lodge knew what the cipher was trying to say. So, off we went, a car load of us to visit then VW Sam who explained it to us. He also imparted a strong lesson in me about how the ritual should be performed, with feeling and emotion, not in dry monotone. Lastly, at that time, I remember a remark he made. "A properly cooked chili dog is a lot better than improperly cooked prime rib." I've tried to remember that as well while cooking for the Lodge, for truly there is wisdom contained within.
As I've moved on from candidate to Master Mason, and through the Lodge and Grand Lodge lines, I've continued to look for other men to emulate. Men who seem to be to exemplify all the good that is Masonry. I think that Mentorship is a life long process, not just something for new Masons.
Mentoring should go beyond degree work and lodge function. Mentoring should include thoughtful discussion of the meaning behind the allegory. Mentoring should include life coaching on how to be a better husband better father better employer manager or worker, a better MAN. Mentoring should also include fellowship OUTSIDE the lodge. Invitations to social events parties sporting events etc. All the things that brothers and friends do.
I can make no disagreement with what you write. I think you put your finger on it perfectly.
I have made amazing friendships in Masonry, but all of those connections were made outside of the Lodge. As I mention in my own story above, the best mentoring from Larry took place in his car, from Andre in his living room with his scotch. I still love sitting in Lodge with those guys, but it is because of what we did outside of the Lodge, not within it.
When I first moved to Centralia I don't think that I really fit into the Lodge. I tried, but no connection between me and the rest of the Brothers ever seemed to develop. That is until a bunch of us decided that it would be a good idea to run a food truck at a community festival to help raise money for the Shrine Hospital. Let me tell you, that was a disaster! Short order cooks we were not, but short order cooks we had to learn to be, all in about two minutes. That shared struggle, over frying hamburgers, was what started my connection with the men of Centralia Lodge.
After that the connection deepened with our weekends on the Hood Canal, and our steaks and cigars.
Here's a cold hard fact, based on my own experience:
Centralia Lodge was on a long downward slope for a lot of years. Then we started doing things outside of the Lodge. We started going to Hood Canal for a couple weekends a year. We started having a couple fancy catered meals with good booze and cigars a couple times a year. We started having BBQ's at people's houses in the summers. We had parties around most holidays in the dining hall, at least one of which the DJ we hired had the music so loud that the windows were rattling. After every meeting we took time to share a drink, talk about our lives since we had last seen each other, and toast our successes.
The thing was, we grew. We got a cohort of young excited men. They joined the Lodge, and they started bringing their friends around. I even performed the wedding ceremony for one of those young men.
The change in the Lodge was so marked that when we went to the Annual Communication the Grand Master dragged us up to the East, and used us as an example of what a Lodge should be. I still have a copy of his written remarks about us.
Then we got a Master who thought that none of that was important. The trips to the Hood Canal ended. The fancy dinner turned into pizza and beer with the excuse that the fancy food and liquor cost a lot and it was possible that the Lodge could lose money (the Lodge had never lost money on one of those dinners.) The BBQ's in the Summer and the Holiday parties all ended. The bottles used for our post meeting toasts ran empty and were never replaced.
Then we got another Master that didn't bring any of those things back, and another, and another.
We haven't seen any of those excited young men in at least a couple of years now. They all drifted away, because the fellowship that drew them to the Lodge was gone.
Working under Masters who built the Lodge, and Masters who after them almost killed the Lodge taught me important lessons about just how fragile a Lodge truly is, and how easily bad leadership can doom things.
I'm going to share another story.
As I mentioned above, when I was a brand spankin new Mason Andre made his library available to me, and showed me where to find books and other resources that would align with my own interests in Masonry.
This was invaluable to me. Because the thing is, Andre and I are both extremely interested in the philosophy of Freemasonry, but to a large extent, different aspects of it. Had he not taught me how to discover what I needed for my path, but simply shown me his path, I wouldn't have gotten everything out of it that I have.
Likewise I think with Larry. We both think about Masonry, and talk about Masonry together. A lot. The thing is though, Masonry means something different to me than it means to Larry. Our focuses are different, what we take from it is different. Nevertheless, we can spend an hour or a week together doing little more than talking about Masonry.
I mention these things because we all walk our own path in Masonry, it is an individual experience. When we mentor a Mason, we need to give him the tools to walk his own path, not simply point him towards ours.
One final story.
Trust is truly vital to all of this.
One night we were in a Lodge meeting, discussing who knows what. One of our Brothers stood up and admitted a terrible struggle he had gone/was going through. Something that one would never want to talk about.
He brought it up of course because he needed help.
He would have never brought it up unless he felt safe revealing it. That Lodge, at that time, was so tight and bonded that it gave him the confidence to bare his soul, knowing that whatever he had to say would remain private, and that he would receive the emotional support he needed at that time in his life.
It really started firing up around 2012, I think, maybe a little earlier than that, growing noticeably better as time went on through around early 2016. By late 2016 it was going downhill faster than I could have ever imagined. It was horrible to see.
We do have amazing Lodges in this Jurisdiction, I would of course be very pleased to direct you towards them if you are ever ready.
And of course, I remain very hopeful that my old Lodge will again spend weekends together, will again spring a few bucks for steak and cigars, will again toast each other's successes, and will again BBQ. I know that the desire is there within some of the members.
If it does start doing those things again, it will thrive again. If it continues to do nothing but meet once or twice a month, then it will surely continue to struggle.
Your point about how one WM can change the course of a lodge really hit home. When I was researching how to set up a Chamber of Reflection, I went to visit a lodge that had one, so I could see how they approached it. While discussing it with one of the brothers who was taking me around the lodge, he mentioned that they had the chamber, but it had sat unused for several years. Not that they hadn't had new candidates get their degrees, but no one wanted to bother with it anymore. I didn't delve into that any deeper, but it's the one thing that disturbs me more than anything - complacency.
Lodges tend to dislike change. "That's not how we do things" or "We've always done it this way". Resistance usually comes from the longer tenured masons who are quite comfortable with boring mindless business meetings and rote degrees. Brothers that come along and want to make changes usually get beaten down. This comes from decades of complacent behavior. It's refreshing to find lodges doing things differently, as long as they don't conflict with TSW or the WMC.
As you know, GM's have trinkets, and given that the trinkets have to be manufactured, they have to be ordered well before one is elected GM.
This past week, trinkets arrived.
Yesterday I went up to visit my grandparents who are not doing well. It is entirely possible that one or both of them will pass prior to our upcoming Annual Communication, so I took one of the trinkets with me to show them.
It's one of the things with a picture of the GM on it. I think that the company did a good job of it, and that it looks great. They liked it too.
I told them that some of our members would probably complain about it though, because the picture is in profile, and we have never done one in profile before, and of course even the smallest changes in the 'way we have always done things' must be opposed!
It's a goofy example, but true. As you say, some are so opposed to any change that they will end up freezing a Lodge in time. And that in turn drives good, excited, young men out of our Lodges.
A profile picture on drivers licenses means someone is underage to qualify for alcohol, cigarettes, etc. To me a profile picture on your coin seems fitting and implies that you are young at heart.
Alas though, the reason I went with profile is because that is generally how legal tender coins are made. I thought it would be easier for the designers to create a good likeness.
VWB Ron Singleton helped me the "Additional Proficiency" for my First Degree. RW Cameron helped me with my in Lodge Proficiency for my First Degree. WB Rich Lathrope helped me prepare for my first Conferral which was for 5 EA's. VW Clayton La Vigne has offered me invaluable help along the way and has been an inspiration to emulate him. I have found that each Lodge meeting I go to is a "Class" and I learn something from each one. So far I have attended a Stated Meeting in 51 different Lodges and I think much can be gained by doing that.
I think that you are exactly right about the importance of visiting other Lodges. My own good ideas have always largely been things that I saw other Lodges doing, and I just brought them back with me.
By visiting we get to see what others might do better than us, and it is mighty easy to then adopt better practices.
I'll relate my own experiences.
When I look back on my time going through the degrees, I remember a lot of men who I consider as mentors.
VW Larry, who at that time was a fairly new Mason himself, took on the role of driving me to Lodge those first few months. The drive gave him a chance to talk with me about Masonry, and it gave me the opportunity to ask any questions I might have. He also drove me to visit other Lodges, almost killing us both on I-405 while headed to Lakeside Lodge, but we did manage to survive.
W Andre, who was my 'official' mentor, would meet with me quite frequently in his beautiful home, sharing his scotch. He taught me the Posting Lectures. Even more importantly, he shared his large Masonic library with me, and pointed me in the direction of finding books and information about my own unique Masonic interests.
W Tom was the Worshipful Master at the time. He drove me around to visit other Lodges too. This time in the car, which I had a lot of with Larry, Andre, and Tom, was truly a great way to get to know the men of my Lodge. Even when Andre and I drove all the way to Vashon Island to visit the Lodge there, only to find out that we were a week early! It was good though, we managed to track down the Lodge Secretary, and ended up spending some time, and sharing a meal with him.
VW Cary was the Grand Lecturer at the time. He performed my Fellow Craft lecture. He did it so amazingly well that I didn't truly understand that it was being done from memory. It seemed to me, at the time, that he and I were just having a conversation. I've never forgotten something he told me that night, that "No man ever joined Freemasonry to sit through a business meeting." I've tried to hold on to that wisdom throughout my entire Masonic career.
MW Sam also stands out strongly in my mind. I was the first person in quite a while in my Lodge to actually do the Posting Lectures. The Lodge had relied for quite awhile on the Alternate Proficiency. Well, there was one small hiccup, in one of the Degrees. That was that there was a part of the Lecture in which no one in the Lodge knew what the cipher was trying to say. So, off we went, a car load of us to visit then VW Sam who explained it to us. He also imparted a strong lesson in me about how the ritual should be performed, with feeling and emotion, not in dry monotone. Lastly, at that time, I remember a remark he made. "A properly cooked chili dog is a lot better than improperly cooked prime rib." I've tried to remember that as well while cooking for the Lodge, for truly there is wisdom contained within.
As I've moved on from candidate to Master Mason, and through the Lodge and Grand Lodge lines, I've continued to look for other men to emulate. Men who seem to be to exemplify all the good that is Masonry. I think that Mentorship is a life long process, not just something for new Masons.
Mentoring should go beyond degree work and lodge function. Mentoring should include thoughtful discussion of the meaning behind the allegory. Mentoring should include life coaching on how to be a better husband better father better employer manager or worker, a better MAN. Mentoring should also include fellowship OUTSIDE the lodge. Invitations to social events parties sporting events etc. All the things that brothers and friends do.
I can make no disagreement with what you write. I think you put your finger on it perfectly.
I have made amazing friendships in Masonry, but all of those connections were made outside of the Lodge. As I mention in my own story above, the best mentoring from Larry took place in his car, from Andre in his living room with his scotch. I still love sitting in Lodge with those guys, but it is because of what we did outside of the Lodge, not within it.
When I first moved to Centralia I don't think that I really fit into the Lodge. I tried, but no connection between me and the rest of the Brothers ever seemed to develop. That is until a bunch of us decided that it would be a good idea to run a food truck at a community festival to help raise money for the Shrine Hospital. Let me tell you, that was a disaster! Short order cooks we were not, but short order cooks we had to learn to be, all in about two minutes. That shared struggle, over frying hamburgers, was what started my connection with the men of Centralia Lodge.
After that the connection deepened with our weekends on the Hood Canal, and our steaks and cigars.
Here's a cold hard fact, based on my own experience:
Centralia Lodge was on a long downward slope for a lot of years. Then we started doing things outside of the Lodge. We started going to Hood Canal for a couple weekends a year. We started having a couple fancy catered meals with good booze and cigars a couple times a year. We started having BBQ's at people's houses in the summers. We had parties around most holidays in the dining hall, at least one of which the DJ we hired had the music so loud that the windows were rattling. After every meeting we took time to share a drink, talk about our lives since we had last seen each other, and toast our successes.
The thing was, we grew. We got a cohort of young excited men. They joined the Lodge, and they started bringing their friends around. I even performed the wedding ceremony for one of those young men.
The change in the Lodge was so marked that when we went to the Annual Communication the Grand Master dragged us up to the East, and used us as an example of what a Lodge should be. I still have a copy of his written remarks about us.
Then we got a Master who thought that none of that was important. The trips to the Hood Canal ended. The fancy dinner turned into pizza and beer with the excuse that the fancy food and liquor cost a lot and it was possible that the Lodge could lose money (the Lodge had never lost money on one of those dinners.) The BBQ's in the Summer and the Holiday parties all ended. The bottles used for our post meeting toasts ran empty and were never replaced.
Then we got another Master that didn't bring any of those things back, and another, and another.
We haven't seen any of those excited young men in at least a couple of years now. They all drifted away, because the fellowship that drew them to the Lodge was gone.
Working under Masters who built the Lodge, and Masters who after them almost killed the Lodge taught me important lessons about just how fragile a Lodge truly is, and how easily bad leadership can doom things.
I'm going to share another story.
As I mentioned above, when I was a brand spankin new Mason Andre made his library available to me, and showed me where to find books and other resources that would align with my own interests in Masonry.
This was invaluable to me. Because the thing is, Andre and I are both extremely interested in the philosophy of Freemasonry, but to a large extent, different aspects of it. Had he not taught me how to discover what I needed for my path, but simply shown me his path, I wouldn't have gotten everything out of it that I have.
Likewise I think with Larry. We both think about Masonry, and talk about Masonry together. A lot. The thing is though, Masonry means something different to me than it means to Larry. Our focuses are different, what we take from it is different. Nevertheless, we can spend an hour or a week together doing little more than talking about Masonry.
I mention these things because we all walk our own path in Masonry, it is an individual experience. When we mentor a Mason, we need to give him the tools to walk his own path, not simply point him towards ours.
One final story.
Trust is truly vital to all of this.
One night we were in a Lodge meeting, discussing who knows what. One of our Brothers stood up and admitted a terrible struggle he had gone/was going through. Something that one would never want to talk about.
He brought it up of course because he needed help.
He would have never brought it up unless he felt safe revealing it. That Lodge, at that time, was so tight and bonded that it gave him the confidence to bare his soul, knowing that whatever he had to say would remain private, and that he would receive the emotional support he needed at that time in his life.
I would like to be part of such a lodge as that golden Era you had in centralia. How long ago was that?
It really started firing up around 2012, I think, maybe a little earlier than that, growing noticeably better as time went on through around early 2016. By late 2016 it was going downhill faster than I could have ever imagined. It was horrible to see.
We do have amazing Lodges in this Jurisdiction, I would of course be very pleased to direct you towards them if you are ever ready.
And of course, I remain very hopeful that my old Lodge will again spend weekends together, will again spring a few bucks for steak and cigars, will again toast each other's successes, and will again BBQ. I know that the desire is there within some of the members.
If it does start doing those things again, it will thrive again. If it continues to do nothing but meet once or twice a month, then it will surely continue to struggle.
Are any close to centralia?
I'll send you an email.
Your point about how one WM can change the course of a lodge really hit home. When I was researching how to set up a Chamber of Reflection, I went to visit a lodge that had one, so I could see how they approached it. While discussing it with one of the brothers who was taking me around the lodge, he mentioned that they had the chamber, but it had sat unused for several years. Not that they hadn't had new candidates get their degrees, but no one wanted to bother with it anymore. I didn't delve into that any deeper, but it's the one thing that disturbs me more than anything - complacency.
Lodges tend to dislike change. "That's not how we do things" or "We've always done it this way". Resistance usually comes from the longer tenured masons who are quite comfortable with boring mindless business meetings and rote degrees. Brothers that come along and want to make changes usually get beaten down. This comes from decades of complacent behavior. It's refreshing to find lodges doing things differently, as long as they don't conflict with TSW or the WMC.
As you know, GM's have trinkets, and given that the trinkets have to be manufactured, they have to be ordered well before one is elected GM.
This past week, trinkets arrived.
Yesterday I went up to visit my grandparents who are not doing well. It is entirely possible that one or both of them will pass prior to our upcoming Annual Communication, so I took one of the trinkets with me to show them.
It's one of the things with a picture of the GM on it. I think that the company did a good job of it, and that it looks great. They liked it too.
I told them that some of our members would probably complain about it though, because the picture is in profile, and we have never done one in profile before, and of course even the smallest changes in the 'way we have always done things' must be opposed!
It's a goofy example, but true. As you say, some are so opposed to any change that they will end up freezing a Lodge in time. And that in turn drives good, excited, young men out of our Lodges.
A profile picture on drivers licenses means someone is underage to qualify for alcohol, cigarettes, etc. To me a profile picture on your coin seems fitting and implies that you are young at heart.
I'll take it!
Alas though, the reason I went with profile is because that is generally how legal tender coins are made. I thought it would be easier for the designers to create a good likeness.