Generally Masons are very proud men. As my friend Andre said recently, Masons see themselves as men who are called to give charity, not as men who might need charity.
But let’s face it, any man can fall upon hard times. Any man can face a time in his life when he truly needs help from others.
But in a lot of cases, he might be too proud to ask.
How can we, as Lodge members, learn to keep an eye out, and recognize when one of our Brothers is struggling? What are some signs we can look for? Knowing that many men will be too proud to ask, how can we instead learn to see, so that they do not have to ask?
One strength of Masonry is the chance to get to know a brother over time.
We go from hi-how-are-you to banter to talking about work or yard chores. Maybe we have dinner outside e Lodge and meet wives and kids.
Part of what we’re doing is learning what is normal for our brother.
This makes the abnormal stand out - a sense of humor that’s gone missing, an uncharacteristic blow up between friends, preoccupation, enthusiasm turning to lack of engagement, an easy-going nature becoming irritating…
That’s a good time to try more frequent chats to check in.
And it’s a good time for our troubled brother to fend us off with half-hearted explanations. Maybe pride or embarrassment is getting in the way of candor.
If we’ve taken the time to be a reliable friend, it’s easier to invite that candor.
Or, if we don’t have that kind of relationship with a brother yet, we might quietly mention something to a someone who does.
It begins with taking the term "Brother" seriously. These are not guys that we see once or twice a month during a meeting. If we don't take the time to get to know our Brothers, how can we ever expect to experience the warmth of good fellowship and brotherly love? I know it is hard to keep up with people in a world where things never seem to slow down around us, but it is a necessary part of being a good and true Brother. Take 15-20 minutes out of your day, maybe during your commute to work, and call up a Brother just to check in on them and their family. I promise you that 15-20 minute investment will be returned with interest.
Get out of lodge. Be friends. But also, I believe that one of the duties of a chaplain is to Shephard his brother through the valley of darkness. Reading prayers in lodge is the smallest of his duties.
One strength of Masonry is the chance to get to know a brother over time.
We go from hi-how-are-you to banter to talking about work or yard chores. Maybe we have dinner outside e Lodge and meet wives and kids.
Part of what we’re doing is learning what is normal for our brother.
This makes the abnormal stand out - a sense of humor that’s gone missing, an uncharacteristic blow up between friends, preoccupation, enthusiasm turning to lack of engagement, an easy-going nature becoming irritating…
That’s a good time to try more frequent chats to check in.
And it’s a good time for our troubled brother to fend us off with half-hearted explanations. Maybe pride or embarrassment is getting in the way of candor.
If we’ve taken the time to be a reliable friend, it’s easier to invite that candor.
Or, if we don’t have that kind of relationship with a brother yet, we might quietly mention something to a someone who does.
A lot of brothers don't want to acknowledge we're not all friends.
Because that takes more than just showing up to lodge.
It begins with taking the term "Brother" seriously. These are not guys that we see once or twice a month during a meeting. If we don't take the time to get to know our Brothers, how can we ever expect to experience the warmth of good fellowship and brotherly love? I know it is hard to keep up with people in a world where things never seem to slow down around us, but it is a necessary part of being a good and true Brother. Take 15-20 minutes out of your day, maybe during your commute to work, and call up a Brother just to check in on them and their family. I promise you that 15-20 minute investment will be returned with interest.
As WM, I have $100 a month, no questions asked charity fund. This is specifically to aid a Brother. I keep a hundred dollar bill handy just in case.
Lodge will reimburse if I need to to use it.
Get out of lodge. Be friends. But also, I believe that one of the duties of a chaplain is to Shephard his brother through the valley of darkness. Reading prayers in lodge is the smallest of his duties.