My position demands that I visit a lot of Lodges. Two or three a week, sometimes more.
With all of that traveling and visiting, one thing becomes perfectly clear. Some Lodges have an extremely welcoming feel. One leaves the Lodge and feels great, glad he attended. Others feel otherwise, and on leaving that same heady feeling just isn’t there.
I am not here implying that any Lodge is ever actually unwelcoming, I’ve certainly never felt that, but it is undeniable that in some Lodges it is clear that the men are excited to be there, excited to have you there, and those feelings are contagious.
It is also undeniable that Lodges that leave one with a great feeling about having attended are generally successful, while those that leave one feeling rather meh, well they just generally aren’t.
This I think begs the question…
What can we, as members of our Lodge do to make certain that our Lodge feels welcoming and exciting?
What can the leaders of the Lodge do to make it feel that way?
What can each and every one of us do to make our Brothers feel excited about the meeting that they are leaving, so that they are looking forward to the next meeting?
If we can crack that code, a truly thriving Lodge will result, so let’s chat about it…
I find that many of the lodges I have visited have their own little cliques. Yes, members will shake you hand, say "Welcome," but that as far as it goes. They won't sit with me at the meal, or sit with me op the sidelines during the meeting. After the meeting, they're more interested in conversing with home-lodge Brethren than talking with visitors. Discouraging. Turning the negative into a positive, do the opposite in your lodge. Greet the visitor warmly, sit with him at the festive board, sit with him on the sidelines. Take the time to learn his name and lodge. When departing, ask him to come back. Who knows, he might just apply for plural membership! It's all in how we are treated.
When I was senior deacon, I made it a point to stand next to the Tyler’s desk as the brothers were signing the register, and greet each and every brother and give them a nice handshake, and joke with them while waiting their turn. I didn’t know if they were welcomed downstairs, but I made sure someone did before they entered our lodge room. I also made it a point to sit with visitors during a meal, regardless of my position in lodge. I enjoy meeting new folks, and getting to know them.
I had hoped that brothers following me in the chairs would continue the things I was doing, but sadly that didn’t happen.
“I am not here implying that any Lodge is ever actually unwelcoming, I’ve certainly never felt that...” I’m very glad you haven’t experienced that. Unfortunately, I have, but luckily the story has a happy ending.
I was invited by a Past Master of one of our Lewis County Lodges who was a PM in another area to attend an event roughly 90 minutes from my home town. We showed up, and while the PM was able to catch up with his old Brothers, and he tried to introduce me to them, the atmosphere was not conducive to newcomers. First thing when we walked in the door, a surly Past Master barked out, “You’re not eating dinner if you don’t have a ticket!” We mentioned we already ate before showing up, only for the old PM to say mid-sentence, “I’M SERIOUS! No ticket, NO MEAL!” The PM with me had to be crafty to smooth things over, but even though almost 100 Brothers were there for the event, only one of them approached me to say hi. One of them shoulder-bumped me and didn’t even say excuse me. It reminded me of Junior High School. On the way home, the PM with me asked what I thought, and I thanked him for bringing me along, but politely informed him I didn’t want to return. I explained why, and he was sorry things didn’t work out well.
A couple years later, that same Past Master invited me to the same event again. I reluctantly agreed, and this time, things went better. Not sure what the difference was, but that’s okay!
My home Lodge in Tenino is the opposite of that. Most of the regulars park out back, and we leave the front door unlocked for newcomers who park out front. If someone comes in and it’s their first time visiting, they get a warm welcome and an offer of a private tour of the building. For the regulars, it’s like chummin’ it up with old friends. Cliques simply don’t exist. For quite a while, our Lodge had a large attendance because of its hospitality. I’m looking forward to that returning once this Pandemic subsides.
As my Lodge’s unofficial historian, I’ve begun the practice of offering a tour of our building to every new person that comes in. I make sure to take my sweet time in each room and ask them plenty of questions about themselves before we move on to the next one. Throughout the tour we’ll usually pick up 1 or 2 other Brothers along the way who’ll also ask the guest questions and offer up some stories. By the end of the tour, a guest that came in shy and nervous is noticeably more at ease with the members. Our standing Petitions Committee has also adopted the duty of welcoming guests and staying with them throughout their visit/s until they can see that the guest is mingling well with other members on their own.
I for one, find it most welcome to have the MWGM, or any of the Grand Lodge Officer visit; official or just visiting. I was raised in California and in my few years there I never once was in a lodge when any of the Grand Lodge Officers were present. Our Grand Jurisdiction is of a size that allows for "them" to get around to the lodges more frequently. Appreciate what we have; there are thousands of brethren in other locations who spend their entire Masonic Life and never meet a Grand Lodge Officer.
I can relate when it comes to “welcoming lodges.” From my experience when I was petitioning as a candidate for Masonry I was invited to attend dinners on the 3rd Thursdays at 6:00pm but was not able to stay for the meeting since I have not been made a Mason.
From my experience, it was intimidating at first. I was told to come to dinner with men who I do not know nothing about but would like to meet me. Sounds like an initiation to the mafia.. all because I saw a conspiracy theory film on YouTube about Masonry and was attracted to the mysteries, the esoteric, the secrets…So my curiosity got the best of me, and I attended a stated dinner. I was well received by the SD at that time, he sat and had dinner with me and started to ask me questions to get to know me better. The Senior Steward was sitting on the other side of me and asked me how the corn beef hash tased. I told him it was wonderful! The Senior Steward Doug was talking to me as if he had known me for 20 years. All fellowship, all brotherly love. This made me excited to come to the next stated dinner, and the next. Then I was invited to help out at one of the summer music events. It was a blink of an eye from there..
After I had been made an EA mason. I traveled a bit with a MM to some lodges around the district to feed my curiosity. Some were exciting, some were meh, some had their cliques. During my travels I was well received in some lodges and not so much in others. Maybe the SD had a lot on his mind that night and forgot his duty. The vibe I got was “I need to show up, remember my lines, and leave because I had been appointed.” It was kind of an apathetic vibe.
Now that I think about it, If I was petitioning for Masonry and attended a dinner or function and was not well received to where I felt ostracize. I probably wouldn’t returned to the next stated dinner. I would have had a bitter taste in my mouth about Masonry and the conspiracy theorist on YouTube would have influenced my impression of Masonry. I think we can still guard the west gate and be a welcoming lodge to our candidates and visiting brethren as well.
I find that many of the lodges I have visited have their own little cliques. Yes, members will shake you hand, say "Welcome," but that as far as it goes. They won't sit with me at the meal, or sit with me op the sidelines during the meeting. After the meeting, they're more interested in conversing with home-lodge Brethren than talking with visitors. Discouraging. Turning the negative into a positive, do the opposite in your lodge. Greet the visitor warmly, sit with him at the festive board, sit with him on the sidelines. Take the time to learn his name and lodge. When departing, ask him to come back. Who knows, he might just apply for plural membership! It's all in how we are treated.
When I was senior deacon, I made it a point to stand next to the Tyler’s desk as the brothers were signing the register, and greet each and every brother and give them a nice handshake, and joke with them while waiting their turn. I didn’t know if they were welcomed downstairs, but I made sure someone did before they entered our lodge room. I also made it a point to sit with visitors during a meal, regardless of my position in lodge. I enjoy meeting new folks, and getting to know them.
I had hoped that brothers following me in the chairs would continue the things I was doing, but sadly that didn’t happen.
“I am not here implying that any Lodge is ever actually unwelcoming, I’ve certainly never felt that...” I’m very glad you haven’t experienced that. Unfortunately, I have, but luckily the story has a happy ending.
I was invited by a Past Master of one of our Lewis County Lodges who was a PM in another area to attend an event roughly 90 minutes from my home town. We showed up, and while the PM was able to catch up with his old Brothers, and he tried to introduce me to them, the atmosphere was not conducive to newcomers. First thing when we walked in the door, a surly Past Master barked out, “You’re not eating dinner if you don’t have a ticket!” We mentioned we already ate before showing up, only for the old PM to say mid-sentence, “I’M SERIOUS! No ticket, NO MEAL!” The PM with me had to be crafty to smooth things over, but even though almost 100 Brothers were there for the event, only one of them approached me to say hi. One of them shoulder-bumped me and didn’t even say excuse me. It reminded me of Junior High School. On the way home, the PM with me asked what I thought, and I thanked him for bringing me along, but politely informed him I didn’t want to return. I explained why, and he was sorry things didn’t work out well.
A couple years later, that same Past Master invited me to the same event again. I reluctantly agreed, and this time, things went better. Not sure what the difference was, but that’s okay!
My home Lodge in Tenino is the opposite of that. Most of the regulars park out back, and we leave the front door unlocked for newcomers who park out front. If someone comes in and it’s their first time visiting, they get a warm welcome and an offer of a private tour of the building. For the regulars, it’s like chummin’ it up with old friends. Cliques simply don’t exist. For quite a while, our Lodge had a large attendance because of its hospitality. I’m looking forward to that returning once this Pandemic subsides.
As my Lodge’s unofficial historian, I’ve begun the practice of offering a tour of our building to every new person that comes in. I make sure to take my sweet time in each room and ask them plenty of questions about themselves before we move on to the next one. Throughout the tour we’ll usually pick up 1 or 2 other Brothers along the way who’ll also ask the guest questions and offer up some stories. By the end of the tour, a guest that came in shy and nervous is noticeably more at ease with the members. Our standing Petitions Committee has also adopted the duty of welcoming guests and staying with them throughout their visit/s until they can see that the guest is mingling well with other members on their own.
I for one, find it most welcome to have the MWGM, or any of the Grand Lodge Officer visit; official or just visiting. I was raised in California and in my few years there I never once was in a lodge when any of the Grand Lodge Officers were present. Our Grand Jurisdiction is of a size that allows for "them" to get around to the lodges more frequently. Appreciate what we have; there are thousands of brethren in other locations who spend their entire Masonic Life and never meet a Grand Lodge Officer.
I can relate when it comes to “welcoming lodges.” From my experience when I was petitioning as a candidate for Masonry I was invited to attend dinners on the 3rd Thursdays at 6:00pm but was not able to stay for the meeting since I have not been made a Mason.
From my experience, it was intimidating at first. I was told to come to dinner with men who I do not know nothing about but would like to meet me. Sounds like an initiation to the mafia.. all because I saw a conspiracy theory film on YouTube about Masonry and was attracted to the mysteries, the esoteric, the secrets…So my curiosity got the best of me, and I attended a stated dinner. I was well received by the SD at that time, he sat and had dinner with me and started to ask me questions to get to know me better. The Senior Steward was sitting on the other side of me and asked me how the corn beef hash tased. I told him it was wonderful! The Senior Steward Doug was talking to me as if he had known me for 20 years. All fellowship, all brotherly love. This made me excited to come to the next stated dinner, and the next. Then I was invited to help out at one of the summer music events. It was a blink of an eye from there..
After I had been made an EA mason. I traveled a bit with a MM to some lodges around the district to feed my curiosity. Some were exciting, some were meh, some had their cliques. During my travels I was well received in some lodges and not so much in others. Maybe the SD had a lot on his mind that night and forgot his duty. The vibe I got was “I need to show up, remember my lines, and leave because I had been appointed.” It was kind of an apathetic vibe.
Now that I think about it, If I was petitioning for Masonry and attended a dinner or function and was not well received to where I felt ostracize. I probably wouldn’t returned to the next stated dinner. I would have had a bitter taste in my mouth about Masonry and the conspiracy theorist on YouTube would have influenced my impression of Masonry. I think we can still guard the west gate and be a welcoming lodge to our candidates and visiting brethren as well.