Last minute rescheduling really needs to be avoided at all costs. We need to respect the candidate and his family's time. They are investigating us (or should be) just as much as we are investigating them.
I remember baking oatmeal raisin cookies from scratch for my investigation meeting. One of the three couldn't make it, but two still came. The third talked to me over the phone the next day.
I really enjoyed your writing this morning MW Sir, but it also made me a little (almost) angry about our Fraternity.
We like to think that we are good men, and hopefully some of the best of society. And yet we seem to have a culture of not respecting our fellows, families, and others. Like you, I have seen cancellations of meetings for trivial reasons. Masons don't need to be fluent in French to fully understand the meaning of RSVP. And Masons don't seem to believe that a sincere thank-you is in order when a Brother, Lady, or Community Member goes out of his or her way to make a Masonic meeting or event just a little better. On this, we can be awfully cheap. A bouquet of flowers and box of candy to a wife who has been working the kitchen prior to a Masonic meal can easily be had for under $50. And maybe a Brother honestly don't want more swag, so how about a gift certificate for lunch or dinner, or a donation to his favorite charity. And if nothing else, a simple thank-you note should be the bare minimum.
I'll get off my soap box soon, but IMHO understanding and practicing the social graces should be the expectation of every Mason and Lodge, and not the exception.
Honestly, on this one, I vacillated a bit between angry and sad. In the end, I decided on sad. Sad because a Lodge is not showing that they see value in a man who just might have the means, ability, and interest, to become a vital member for years and years to come.
But, yeah, I did think about getting angry too. It wasted his time, his soon to be wife's time, my time, and my wife's time. For no discernable good reason.
In the end, it all worked out OK. The Committee did investigate him the next day, and both he and his soon to be wife found it to be a good conversation.
This is one of those things that can significantly affect a prospective Brother or their partners opinion, or willingness to support that Brothers journey or the Craft.
If we treat it like no big deal, they are liable to do the same. Worse, it may be viewed as disinterest and they may decide not to join at all. People may understand medical necessities or family emergencies, but we should be cautious about failing to show up for lesser reasons, unless we are willing to risk them doing the same.
If we tell each other that Brothers are the ones you can count on no matter what, then show them that they can’t, how can we be surprised if they slowly drift away?
Last minute rescheduling really needs to be avoided at all costs. We need to respect the candidate and his family's time. They are investigating us (or should be) just as much as we are investigating them.
I remember baking oatmeal raisin cookies from scratch for my investigation meeting. One of the three couldn't make it, but two still came. The third talked to me over the phone the next day.
I really enjoyed your writing this morning MW Sir, but it also made me a little (almost) angry about our Fraternity.
We like to think that we are good men, and hopefully some of the best of society. And yet we seem to have a culture of not respecting our fellows, families, and others. Like you, I have seen cancellations of meetings for trivial reasons. Masons don't need to be fluent in French to fully understand the meaning of RSVP. And Masons don't seem to believe that a sincere thank-you is in order when a Brother, Lady, or Community Member goes out of his or her way to make a Masonic meeting or event just a little better. On this, we can be awfully cheap. A bouquet of flowers and box of candy to a wife who has been working the kitchen prior to a Masonic meal can easily be had for under $50. And maybe a Brother honestly don't want more swag, so how about a gift certificate for lunch or dinner, or a donation to his favorite charity. And if nothing else, a simple thank-you note should be the bare minimum.
I'll get off my soap box soon, but IMHO understanding and practicing the social graces should be the expectation of every Mason and Lodge, and not the exception.
Honestly, on this one, I vacillated a bit between angry and sad. In the end, I decided on sad. Sad because a Lodge is not showing that they see value in a man who just might have the means, ability, and interest, to become a vital member for years and years to come.
But, yeah, I did think about getting angry too. It wasted his time, his soon to be wife's time, my time, and my wife's time. For no discernable good reason.
In the end, it all worked out OK. The Committee did investigate him the next day, and both he and his soon to be wife found it to be a good conversation.
This is one of those things that can significantly affect a prospective Brother or their partners opinion, or willingness to support that Brothers journey or the Craft.
If we treat it like no big deal, they are liable to do the same. Worse, it may be viewed as disinterest and they may decide not to join at all. People may understand medical necessities or family emergencies, but we should be cautious about failing to show up for lesser reasons, unless we are willing to risk them doing the same.
If we tell each other that Brothers are the ones you can count on no matter what, then show them that they can’t, how can we be surprised if they slowly drift away?
1. Be on time.
2. Interview at the prospect’s home.
3. Wear a suit and tie.
4. Don’t just rely on the written questions.
5. Talk with the wife and kids if possible.
6. Make sure the prospect understands things like how much memorization work and time commitments the lodge is going to require for advancement.
7. Explain next steps, and roadmap if voted on successfully.
8. Allow the prospect and family to ask questions as well.