Getting Outside Help
To reduce conflict
I don’t want to say I’m strange or anything, but this evening I was reading some minutes of a Masonic concordant body in which a lengthy un-masonic conflict was detailed. (I know, if I’m reading old meeting minutes, it’s probably a sign that I need to get a life!) 🤠
As Masons, we are all Brothers. But that doesn’t mean that sometimes passions aren’t raised, that tempers never flare, and regrettable things are never said. It happens in Masonry, just as it happens in families.
None of us are perfect men. These things happen. Our mission, as Masons, is to work to control our passions. This is a lifelong work, but it is a work in which we can make significant progress, if we put in the effort that our Gentle Craft requires of us.
We can change for the good. We can change so that our tempers flare less often, change so that our angers don’t burn so hot when they do come. This is good and important work that all of us are called to do as Masons.
As we must learn to forgive our Brother whom we might feel has somehow done us wrong.
One of the ways we can do this is to talk with someone completely neutral about whatever situation might be bothering us.
Today I attended a meeting of a very small mystical group that I’m a part of. Taking place so close to Christmas, the main focus of the meeting was on socializing together, and the sharing of gifts.
As always though, the meeting did include an exercise. An exercise designed to help increase intuition. There were ten of us present, and we divided into five groups of two each. The idea was to perform a divination for one’s partner, without using any of the traditional tools of divination. To rely entirely on that voice inside.
My partner asked about her job. Honestly, based on her feedback, I think I did pretty darn good.
When it was my turn, I talked about a potentially brewing conflict I may be having with another Mason. It hasn’t turned into a conflict, and I don’t want it to turn into a conflict as I truly admire this other man, but we don’t seem to be seeing things eye to eye lately, which is quite different from how we have been for an awful lot of years now.
Thinking about how he and I can avoid conflict has been on my mind, a lot. It occupied my thoughts yesterday. Today, while making the long drive in the rain to my group’s meeting, it completely dominated my thoughts.
When it was my turn to ask a question, to be the querent, I asked about it. Not in detail, just in general.
Now, my partner was a completely neutral person. Probably the most neutral anyone can be.
She’s not a Freemason, indeed, she’s a she. I’d peg her in her early 20’s, with a radically different worldview than just about every Mason I’ve ever met. Heck, sometimes she even mentions TV shows, and most of what she likes I’ve never even heard of.
I laid it out, she talked back to me, we discussed it a bit. Perhaps over about ten minutes. Not in detail, not as it relates to Masonry, just as a potential conflict that I’d certainly like to avoid.
And you know what? I felt a hell of a lot better about it afterwards than I did before. I gained important perspective.
Just by sharing it with another, a completely neutral and disinterested person.
I think that is a really important tool that we can utilize when our relationships with others are weighing us down.
If we have trouble brewing in a family relationship, we can probably gain some really good perspective, and come to better understand it by discussing it with one of our Masonic Brothers.
Likewise, as I did today, if we are seeing some brewing trouble in a relationship with a Masonic Brother, we might do quite well if we discuss it with a non Mason who has no connection whatsoever with our Craft.
Sometimes we get so close to a situation that we can’t see a way out of it. Fresh eyes, neutral, disinterested eyes, just might see a pathway forward.
I published the piece linked below on Saturday. Not here on Emeth, because it doesn’t have any connection to Freemasonry, but I’m quite pleased with it, and proud of it.
It recounts some of the experiences I’ve had living my life along our Western Washington rivers, and how those experience have shaped me.
It also delves into pride of place. The love I have for this unique area. For years Melinda and I have discussed moving out of the wet side of the Cascades. To warmer places, to less expensive places, but I really doubt that we ever will. There is, to my mind, something truly magical about this place.
I’m proud of it, I hope you’ll read it, you can find it here:
MWPGM Bailey,
You do hit a live wire now and then. Once in my Rochester NY area Masonic Lodge, a fairly well off Brother I previously respected rose, was recognized by me to speak, but started to tell us in our Lodge Meeting, how much each Lodge Member should donate to the Lodge (% of the $$ holdings of each Brother). As Worshipful Master that year, I felt it necessary to "gavel" him down)! Hmmm...
“May you long enjoy every satisfaction and delight which disinterested friendship can afford.”