I had a very Senior Brother at Webster Masonic Lodge No. 538 in Rochester NY. He would rise, get recognized, then start to talk about how much money each Brother should donate to this Lodge? He was often disturbed when I "gaveled" him down?
Well, I've got to say that I've never seen something like that happen in Lodge. I'm not surprised that you resorted to the gavel. Donating to a Lodge is a wonderful thing, if one can do it, but it should be freely given, not an obligation.
You would obviously not like the Masons depicted in Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's "The Valley of Fear", where nearly all are depicted as gangster-like thugs...
I don't know, I keep thinking about going all gangster like...
You see, my favorite lunch place is on South Tower Avenue, and has logo t-shirts for sale depicting us as the 'South Tower Diablos.' So, I figure that makes us a pretty good gang.
Now about a hundred yards north of that place is my Lodge Brother Clayton's Barber Shop. But he's on North Tower Avenue. I keep figurin' that us South Tower guys are going to have to go up there one of these days and start crackin' skulls in order to increase our territory.
Was referring to west side story. The original one. With Rita Moreno and Natalie Wood.
[singing]
The Jets: The Jets are gonna have their day, tonight... the Jets are gonna have their way tonight! The Puerto Ricans grumble 'Fair fight!' But if they start a rumble, we'll rumble them right!
The Sharks: We're gonna hand 'em a surprise, tonight... We're gonna cut 'em down to size tonight! We said 'Okay, no rumpus, no tricks!' But just in case they jump us, we're ready to mix, tonight!
The Jets: We're gonna rock it tonight, we're gonna jazz it up and have us a ball!
The Sharks: They're gonna get it tonight, the more they turn it on, the harder they fall!
The Jets: Well, they began it!
The Sharks: Well they began it!
The Jets, The Sharks: And we're the ones to stop 'em once and for all, tonight!
I don't have much of a need to get involved with the downtown Centralia "Gang War," other than grabbing some popcorn and a lawn chair to kick back and watch the 100 block of South Tower trash itself without my assistance...
While a candidate might be welcomed into the lodge, after his EA degree he might find some immediate sense of brotherhood. Or, would it simply be a sense of belonging? Belonging to something he was not a member of before.
I would certainly treat this new brother as I do all members of the lodge but with an expectation that he must still prove himself worthy. How?
He must demonstrate the virtues of Masonry. How does he act in lodge? How does he treat the Masons in the lodge?
I am an introvert. It takes me some time to become comfortable with new people, even new Masons. The WM at Lakeside Lodge is a great friend, and a good Mason. He is outgoing, an extrovert for sure. How do I know? By his actions. I watch him engage with Masons he doesn't even know yet. He introduces himself and gets to know them. Understanding who they are, what they like about Masonry, and showing a true interest in them as a Brother.
It takes me a little while to get to that point but once I am there, I am your strongest advocate and I will greet you as friend and a Brother wherever I see you. I just don't do it immediately.
So, from my perspective, we might need to offer that new EA, a little space. If he has never experienced any form of Masonic engagement, such as attending an open installation or being a DeMolay, it might take him some time to gain comfort in engaging fully with the members of the lodge.
At the same time, I would not prefer someone who is bullish and who jumps in with intentions of being forthright in what he thinks Masonry should be. I know of one or two Master Masons who need to learn restraint.
If I were in your lodge and considering this brother, I would dig a little deeper. Asking some probing questions like:
What do you consider brotherhood?
What kind of brotherhood do you envision, is present in Masonry?
What is your experience with brotherhood in other aspects?
He may very well have an idea of this, as it relates to Masonry, as a result of conversation he might have had with Masons someplace else.
We do have the six-step program, and following that can help to ensure the intentions are pure.
I was on the investigative committee one time for a plural petition. The reason given by the brother had to do with aspects of his current lodge that he wasn't happy with. I was concerned that his intentions were temporary. He is a good man. I don't know him well enough to judge him as a Mason and I won't, but I recommended his plural membership on the basis that he was honest in his request.
My reservations were well founded later, when the "issues" at the other lodge were no longer issues, and his attendance at the new lodge waned considerably. That's fine. Masons are free to choose which lodge they attend. The point is, there was, what I consider, and only in my opinion, a slight hidden agenda there.
Perhaps that is your reservation on this particular candidate as well. Is there a hidden agenda? An ulterior motive?
Digg deeper, ask probing questions, and with any luck, you will find that he is seeking what we enjoy as Masons, and that he has the patience to earn that Brotherhood among us.
Thanks for sharing these suggested questions. They are all good ones, and I'll be sure to ask. We do have a long process at my Lodge of getting to know a man before pushing a petition forward, so we will have ample opportunity to hear more from him.
My concern isn't so much about a hidden motive, rather that he may have built Freemasonry in his mind into something that it is not. It isn't a shortcut to anything, and I fear that he'll be disappointed if he believes it to be.
That's why I believe it's so important to do the lecture/posting lecture. It is about what you learned, it is a bout the symbols, and making you a useful/helpful member...but more than that it forces the young Entered Apprentice to forge a bond with his lecturer and mentor. That's the first step in really integrating into the brotherhood. If the man starts early and works a lot of hours it speeds up the bonding and the lecturer also sort "vouches" for him in some ways when they attend events together.
"This is X he's our newest EA and he's working HARD to get it word perfect. I'm real proud of the work he's doing." That's the kind of stuff I hear from lecturers when men commit to them and the work.
I think you are spot on here. My own mentor and I spent countless hours together, learning the lectures and drinking scotch. That built a really solid bond that remains until today. From there, other bonds grow.
I used to have a bad habit (yes, I see it as bad) of always stepping aside to let others go first. To let them reap the glory, and the accolades. To take my place in line. Both my brother and I grew up being taught the same message from our dad.
My dad did all of the cooking, and would always go last to "dish up" his plate, waiting until everyone else was fed before going himself. I remember it biting him in the butt once. He had found a recipe in a newspaper for some beans he loved: https://www.recipezazz.com/recipe/ann-landers-bootlegger-beans-19326. He made them for a family dinner and by the time he got to dish up, they were all gone. He was pretty bugged about that.
And when my brother and I would visit each other, dinner became awkward, as we both stood around telling the other to go ahead first. We finally compromised, whoever cooked went last.
But this attitude allows people to walk all over you if you let them. It also is filling up that checkbook balance ledger sheet on one side without any outflow on the other. It was expecting others to act the same, but time and again I've found that people don't have the same consideration for others.
Without mentioning names, There was something myself and another person built, yet for some reason everyone was giving the other person all of the credit. At first it was fine, but then it got annoying, as my partner would never correct anyone. Eventually, I confronted him about it, saying he's taking all the credit for what we had built. His response was "I don't care who gets the credit". That's certainly easier to say when it's you.
Had the same issue at work. Our boss was notorious for taking credit for his peon's efforts. We had a fire in our building and lost almost everything, as the IT shop, we scrambled for three days working 12-14 hours to reestablish computer connectivity in another building out of nothing for the organization. A few weeks later we had our annual Christmas party, and one of the young ladies came up to our table, gushing over our boss, saying what a hero he was. All he said - in front of his department - was "Thanks".
It was as I got older I decided I'd speak up more for myself. It goes against my upbringing, but I was just tired of being overlooked. But old habits die hard. I still find myself being overlooked. It is disheartening.
You are certainly right, it is awfully easy to say that one doesn't care who gets the credit if one is the fellow getting the credit. And yeah, that's not a good thing. There's got to be a balance there, a balance between taking unearned or partially earned credit and stepping aside so that someone else can take all the credit. Neither is good, but I imagine a balance can be found.
Thats actually a key part of my book im putting out.
"Brotherhood does not arrive with the degree. It is built through showing up, listening, serving, and investing in the relationships that transform a lodge into a true band of brothers. The fraternity cannot come to you instead you must go to it. Every meeting attended, every conversation shared, every meal enjoyed around the table, and every act of service adds another stone to the foundation of a lifetime in Masonry."
The degree changes your status on paper. It doesn't touch the actual relationship, because status and relationship were never the same currency to begin with. The checkbook analogy is basically describing karma without needing the word. Nobody hands you a balance at initiation. You build one, deposit by deposit, and it can go negative regardless of how official the membership is.
This is exactly right. In my Lodge anyway, we try to spend a good deal of time getting to know a man before we approve his petition, and if some relationships haven't started to form in that time, I don't imagine that they ever will.
And as you say "Nobody hands you a balance at initiation."
But what about FDIC Insurance?!? Great post MWB Bailey. I think we often forget that all of our Brethren have their own share of problems yet they still manage to find a way to show up for their obligations and commitments too. It unfortunately seems that people tend to forget when they deprioritize things, those things have to find an equilibrium too. The Cabletow binds, lengthens, and shortens depending on the manner of its use.
I wonder if we might explore this one in further detail at an upcoming Rummer & Grapes.
The famous Masons of the past didn't do their great deeds because they were Masons, they did them because they were great men who happened to be Masons. And they happened to be Masons because they wanted to be associated with a group that was seen to be home to the very best of men.
It is well past time that we stopped accepting every man who expressed an interest in our Craft. Well past time that we continue settling. We need the best of men, and we should hold out for the best of men. When we have them, they will attract their like.
What legacy does a man want to leave? (It could be huge, it could be tiny, but it must be positive.) Is he on a pathway towards achieving it? From this we can learn motivation, and from that character.
I agree, the famous Masonic figures we see our Brethren refer to when discussing the great men of Masonry throughout history, were the exception not the rule. RWB Coe and I have run this one into the ground many a time when discussing historic figures and events.
It is my belief that you can take the measure of a man by the burdens he willingly chooses to bear for himself, and on behalf of those he is responsible to and for. Those men when surrounded by a group of their peers are often prone to acts of greatness, often overcoming insurmountable odds, much as we can fall victim to the inverse of this desirable outcome.
Perhaps our Masonic process should require a more active form of Craftwork, showing a candidate to be well suited to the Craft before we even consider his petition? Ensuring they comport themselves plainly, and by the points of their entrance so that we know them to be Brethren before we ever admit them to receive the mysteries of Freemasonry.
Wholly agreed, our goals and our efforts to implement them are one of the most effective means of discerning an individuals motives and intentions. I think active Masonry is a clear way to determine that individuals willingness to engage in their Lodge and their communities. You can't fake putting in the work forever.
I had a very Senior Brother at Webster Masonic Lodge No. 538 in Rochester NY. He would rise, get recognized, then start to talk about how much money each Brother should donate to this Lodge? He was often disturbed when I "gaveled" him down?
Well, I've got to say that I've never seen something like that happen in Lodge. I'm not surprised that you resorted to the gavel. Donating to a Lodge is a wonderful thing, if one can do it, but it should be freely given, not an obligation.
You would obviously not like the Masons depicted in Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's "The Valley of Fear", where nearly all are depicted as gangster-like thugs...
I don't know, I keep thinking about going all gangster like...
You see, my favorite lunch place is on South Tower Avenue, and has logo t-shirts for sale depicting us as the 'South Tower Diablos.' So, I figure that makes us a pretty good gang.
Now about a hundred yards north of that place is my Lodge Brother Clayton's Barber Shop. But he's on North Tower Avenue. I keep figurin' that us South Tower guys are going to have to go up there one of these days and start crackin' skulls in order to increase our territory.
Sharks versus Jets! Better start working on your choreography!
Indeed!
"When you're a Jet/you're a Jet all the way". In Winnipeg, that's our NHL franchise's name; the Sharks are out in San Jose.
Was referring to west side story. The original one. With Rita Moreno and Natalie Wood.
[singing]
The Jets: The Jets are gonna have their day, tonight... the Jets are gonna have their way tonight! The Puerto Ricans grumble 'Fair fight!' But if they start a rumble, we'll rumble them right!
The Sharks: We're gonna hand 'em a surprise, tonight... We're gonna cut 'em down to size tonight! We said 'Okay, no rumpus, no tricks!' But just in case they jump us, we're ready to mix, tonight!
The Jets: We're gonna rock it tonight, we're gonna jazz it up and have us a ball!
The Sharks: They're gonna get it tonight, the more they turn it on, the harder they fall!
The Jets: Well, they began it!
The Sharks: Well they began it!
The Jets, The Sharks: And we're the ones to stop 'em once and for all, tonight!
That was on my mind since I am writing a fictional piece involving a Jets/Sharks incident in hockey.
I don't have much of a need to get involved with the downtown Centralia "Gang War," other than grabbing some popcorn and a lawn chair to kick back and watch the 100 block of South Tower trash itself without my assistance...
No, no, no, VW. I fear that as a North Tower guy, you must be dragged into our gang war, like it or not!
While a candidate might be welcomed into the lodge, after his EA degree he might find some immediate sense of brotherhood. Or, would it simply be a sense of belonging? Belonging to something he was not a member of before.
I would certainly treat this new brother as I do all members of the lodge but with an expectation that he must still prove himself worthy. How?
He must demonstrate the virtues of Masonry. How does he act in lodge? How does he treat the Masons in the lodge?
I am an introvert. It takes me some time to become comfortable with new people, even new Masons. The WM at Lakeside Lodge is a great friend, and a good Mason. He is outgoing, an extrovert for sure. How do I know? By his actions. I watch him engage with Masons he doesn't even know yet. He introduces himself and gets to know them. Understanding who they are, what they like about Masonry, and showing a true interest in them as a Brother.
It takes me a little while to get to that point but once I am there, I am your strongest advocate and I will greet you as friend and a Brother wherever I see you. I just don't do it immediately.
So, from my perspective, we might need to offer that new EA, a little space. If he has never experienced any form of Masonic engagement, such as attending an open installation or being a DeMolay, it might take him some time to gain comfort in engaging fully with the members of the lodge.
At the same time, I would not prefer someone who is bullish and who jumps in with intentions of being forthright in what he thinks Masonry should be. I know of one or two Master Masons who need to learn restraint.
If I were in your lodge and considering this brother, I would dig a little deeper. Asking some probing questions like:
What do you consider brotherhood?
What kind of brotherhood do you envision, is present in Masonry?
What is your experience with brotherhood in other aspects?
He may very well have an idea of this, as it relates to Masonry, as a result of conversation he might have had with Masons someplace else.
We do have the six-step program, and following that can help to ensure the intentions are pure.
I was on the investigative committee one time for a plural petition. The reason given by the brother had to do with aspects of his current lodge that he wasn't happy with. I was concerned that his intentions were temporary. He is a good man. I don't know him well enough to judge him as a Mason and I won't, but I recommended his plural membership on the basis that he was honest in his request.
My reservations were well founded later, when the "issues" at the other lodge were no longer issues, and his attendance at the new lodge waned considerably. That's fine. Masons are free to choose which lodge they attend. The point is, there was, what I consider, and only in my opinion, a slight hidden agenda there.
Perhaps that is your reservation on this particular candidate as well. Is there a hidden agenda? An ulterior motive?
Digg deeper, ask probing questions, and with any luck, you will find that he is seeking what we enjoy as Masons, and that he has the patience to earn that Brotherhood among us.
I you're correct, there is confusion amongst candidates like you're alluding to...they confuse "Brotherhood" and "Belonging."
Thanks for sharing these suggested questions. They are all good ones, and I'll be sure to ask. We do have a long process at my Lodge of getting to know a man before pushing a petition forward, so we will have ample opportunity to hear more from him.
My concern isn't so much about a hidden motive, rather that he may have built Freemasonry in his mind into something that it is not. It isn't a shortcut to anything, and I fear that he'll be disappointed if he believes it to be.
That's why I believe it's so important to do the lecture/posting lecture. It is about what you learned, it is a bout the symbols, and making you a useful/helpful member...but more than that it forces the young Entered Apprentice to forge a bond with his lecturer and mentor. That's the first step in really integrating into the brotherhood. If the man starts early and works a lot of hours it speeds up the bonding and the lecturer also sort "vouches" for him in some ways when they attend events together.
"This is X he's our newest EA and he's working HARD to get it word perfect. I'm real proud of the work he's doing." That's the kind of stuff I hear from lecturers when men commit to them and the work.
I think you are spot on here. My own mentor and I spent countless hours together, learning the lectures and drinking scotch. That built a really solid bond that remains until today. From there, other bonds grow.
Alluding to the checkbook analogy...
I used to have a bad habit (yes, I see it as bad) of always stepping aside to let others go first. To let them reap the glory, and the accolades. To take my place in line. Both my brother and I grew up being taught the same message from our dad.
My dad did all of the cooking, and would always go last to "dish up" his plate, waiting until everyone else was fed before going himself. I remember it biting him in the butt once. He had found a recipe in a newspaper for some beans he loved: https://www.recipezazz.com/recipe/ann-landers-bootlegger-beans-19326. He made them for a family dinner and by the time he got to dish up, they were all gone. He was pretty bugged about that.
And when my brother and I would visit each other, dinner became awkward, as we both stood around telling the other to go ahead first. We finally compromised, whoever cooked went last.
But this attitude allows people to walk all over you if you let them. It also is filling up that checkbook balance ledger sheet on one side without any outflow on the other. It was expecting others to act the same, but time and again I've found that people don't have the same consideration for others.
Without mentioning names, There was something myself and another person built, yet for some reason everyone was giving the other person all of the credit. At first it was fine, but then it got annoying, as my partner would never correct anyone. Eventually, I confronted him about it, saying he's taking all the credit for what we had built. His response was "I don't care who gets the credit". That's certainly easier to say when it's you.
Had the same issue at work. Our boss was notorious for taking credit for his peon's efforts. We had a fire in our building and lost almost everything, as the IT shop, we scrambled for three days working 12-14 hours to reestablish computer connectivity in another building out of nothing for the organization. A few weeks later we had our annual Christmas party, and one of the young ladies came up to our table, gushing over our boss, saying what a hero he was. All he said - in front of his department - was "Thanks".
It was as I got older I decided I'd speak up more for myself. It goes against my upbringing, but I was just tired of being overlooked. But old habits die hard. I still find myself being overlooked. It is disheartening.
You are certainly right, it is awfully easy to say that one doesn't care who gets the credit if one is the fellow getting the credit. And yeah, that's not a good thing. There's got to be a balance there, a balance between taking unearned or partially earned credit and stepping aside so that someone else can take all the credit. Neither is good, but I imagine a balance can be found.
Thats actually a key part of my book im putting out.
"Brotherhood does not arrive with the degree. It is built through showing up, listening, serving, and investing in the relationships that transform a lodge into a true band of brothers. The fraternity cannot come to you instead you must go to it. Every meeting attended, every conversation shared, every meal enjoyed around the table, and every act of service adds another stone to the foundation of a lifetime in Masonry."
That sounds exactly right.
The degree changes your status on paper. It doesn't touch the actual relationship, because status and relationship were never the same currency to begin with. The checkbook analogy is basically describing karma without needing the word. Nobody hands you a balance at initiation. You build one, deposit by deposit, and it can go negative regardless of how official the membership is.
This is exactly right. In my Lodge anyway, we try to spend a good deal of time getting to know a man before we approve his petition, and if some relationships haven't started to form in that time, I don't imagine that they ever will.
And as you say "Nobody hands you a balance at initiation."
But what about FDIC Insurance?!? Great post MWB Bailey. I think we often forget that all of our Brethren have their own share of problems yet they still manage to find a way to show up for their obligations and commitments too. It unfortunately seems that people tend to forget when they deprioritize things, those things have to find an equilibrium too. The Cabletow binds, lengthens, and shortens depending on the manner of its use.
I wonder if we might explore this one in further detail at an upcoming Rummer & Grapes.
The famous Masons of the past didn't do their great deeds because they were Masons, they did them because they were great men who happened to be Masons. And they happened to be Masons because they wanted to be associated with a group that was seen to be home to the very best of men.
It is well past time that we stopped accepting every man who expressed an interest in our Craft. Well past time that we continue settling. We need the best of men, and we should hold out for the best of men. When we have them, they will attract their like.
What legacy does a man want to leave? (It could be huge, it could be tiny, but it must be positive.) Is he on a pathway towards achieving it? From this we can learn motivation, and from that character.
I agree, the famous Masonic figures we see our Brethren refer to when discussing the great men of Masonry throughout history, were the exception not the rule. RWB Coe and I have run this one into the ground many a time when discussing historic figures and events.
It is my belief that you can take the measure of a man by the burdens he willingly chooses to bear for himself, and on behalf of those he is responsible to and for. Those men when surrounded by a group of their peers are often prone to acts of greatness, often overcoming insurmountable odds, much as we can fall victim to the inverse of this desirable outcome.
Perhaps our Masonic process should require a more active form of Craftwork, showing a candidate to be well suited to the Craft before we even consider his petition? Ensuring they comport themselves plainly, and by the points of their entrance so that we know them to be Brethren before we ever admit them to receive the mysteries of Freemasonry.
Wholly agreed, our goals and our efforts to implement them are one of the most effective means of discerning an individuals motives and intentions. I think active Masonry is a clear way to determine that individuals willingness to engage in their Lodge and their communities. You can't fake putting in the work forever.