Freemasonry Gives Opportunity
It's not ready-made
I’ve had a prospective candidate for the Degrees talk with me quite a lot about his desire to join the Lodge so that he can experience Brotherhood.
I think that we can all agree, that’s a fine reason for wanting to become a Mason.
But in this case, it concerns me a little bit. Because of how he phrases things.
The way he phrases this desire for Brotherhood leads me to believe that he might perceive it as being already automatically there. Like something standing alone from the men of the Lodge. That when a new man becomes a Mason, he just gets plugged into this Brotherhood thing.
But of course, that isn’t right. Brotherhood is a connection that builds between Masons over time. It’s a relationship, and it must be formed and nurtured just like every other relationship in our lives. It isn’t a plug and play deal.
So, I need to figure out how to explain to him that Freemasonry doesn’t offer Brotherhood, rather it offers the opportunity for Brotherhood.
The Mason who comes to Lodge and acts like a jerk, abrupt and argumentative with everyone will never find Brotherhood within the Lodge. Just as the Mason who refuses to learn will never find Masonic Education within the Lodge, and the Mason who refuses to reflect will never find meaning in our Degrees.
Freemasonry offers vast opportunities.
But those opportunities must be seized. We have to grab hold of them, nurture them, and help them grow. We can’t just somehow ‘plug in’ and have everything handed to us.
Ultimately, if we want it, we must create it.
We must shake a Brother’s hand, engage him in conversation, get to know him, share our struggles and our joys with him. Help him when he needs it. Just getting the Degrees and attending Lodge isn’t going to do it, any more than convincing a woman to marry us and then only ever seeing her once or twice a month for two or three hours would make a strong marriage.
Melinda likes to explain relationships to our children using a checkbook analogy. (Does anyone have a checkbook anymore?)
When you do something nice for the person you’re in a relationship with, that’s like a deposit into the checking account. Maybe it’s a little deposit because you shared a conversation. Maybe it’s a really big deposit because you helped replace a bathroom faucet. Either way, the balance grows.
But the balance shrinks too. Maybe a little, because you said something insensitive. Maybe a lot because you asked for help with a move. Whatever it might be, sometimes you are extracting from the relationship, and the balance falls.
If you aren’t careful the balance can enter the red. Become a negative balance. If you’ve got excellent credit and a solid history with the bank, or a great track record in the relationship, well, maybe you can skate with that negative balance for awhile. Maybe not if circumstances are different.
But what no one can do, no matter how much goodwill exists, is skate by on a negative balance forever. Eventually the account must balance or the relationship will end.
That’s a good analogy I think.
And it’s no different with Brotherhood within a Lodge.
Masonry offers the opportunity for Brotherhood, not the guarantee of it.
Want some more? Everything I wrote last week is gathered here.
Oh, yeah, and I should say that you really should click that little link above. Because right at the top it contains links for three really awesome upcoming Masonic events here in Washington State. Events that you don’t want to miss!
While a candidate might be welcomed into the lodge, after his EA degree he might find some immediate sense of brotherhood. Or, would it simply be a sense of belonging? Belonging to something he was not a member of before.
I would certainly treat this new brother as I do all members of the lodge but with an expectation that he must still prove himself worthy. How?
He must demonstrate the virtues of Masonry. How does he act in lodge? How does he treat the Masons in the lodge?
I am an introvert. It takes me some time to become comfortable with new people, even new Masons. The WM at Lakeside Lodge is a great friend, and a good Mason. He is outgoing, an extrovert for sure. How do I know? By his actions. I watch him engage with Masons he doesn't even know yet. He introduces himself and gets to know them. Understanding who they are, what they like about Masonry, and showing a true interest in them as a Brother.
It takes me a little while to get to that point but once I am there, I am your strongest advocate and I will greet you as friend and a Brother wherever I see you. I just don't do it immediately.
So, from my perspective, we might need to offer that new EA, a little space. If he has never experienced any form of Masonic engagement, such as attending an open installation or being a DeMolay, it might take him some time to gain comfort in engaging fully with the members of the lodge.
At the same time, I would not prefer someone who is bullish and who jumps in with intentions of being forthright in what he thinks Masonry should be. I know of one or two Master Masons who need to learn restraint.
If I were in your lodge and considering this brother, I would dig a little deeper. Asking some probing questions like:
What do you consider brotherhood?
What kind of brotherhood do you envision, is present in Masonry?
What is your experience with brotherhood in other aspects?
He may very well have an idea of this, as it relates to Masonry, as a result of conversation he might have had with Masons someplace else.
We do have the six-step program, and following that can help to ensure the intentions are pure.
I was on the investigative committee one time for a plural petition. The reason given by the brother had to do with aspects of his current lodge that he wasn't happy with. I was concerned that his intentions were temporary. He is a good man. I don't know him well enough to judge him as a Mason and I won't, but I recommended his plural membership on the basis that he was honest in his request.
My reservations were well founded later, when the "issues" at the other lodge were no longer issues, and his attendance at the new lodge waned considerably. That's fine. Masons are free to choose which lodge they attend. The point is, there was, what I consider, and only in my opinion, a slight hidden agenda there.
Perhaps that is your reservation on this particular candidate as well. Is there a hidden agenda? An ulterior motive?
Digg deeper, ask probing questions, and with any luck, you will find that he is seeking what we enjoy as Masons, and that he has the patience to earn that Brotherhood among us.
The degree changes your status on paper. It doesn't touch the actual relationship, because status and relationship were never the same currency to begin with. The checkbook analogy is basically describing karma without needing the word. Nobody hands you a balance at initiation. You build one, deposit by deposit, and it can go negative regardless of how official the membership is.