Fraternity & Family
Should they be linked?
What are the best ways we can involve our significant others, and if we have them, our children with our Lodges?
A lot of Lodges say that they want family involvement, but for many of those, it doesn’t seem to take hold. In some it does, but certainly in many it does not.
And my hunch has to be that in those Lodges where it doesn’t take hold, it is because whatever ‘family’ activities are planned, just aren’t interesting to spouses and kids.
I’m hopeful that today we can discuss just that.
Does your Lodge make an effort to include spouses in some way? Kids?
If so, have those efforts been successful? Or not?
What events have been successful? What events have failed?
It is my hope that by discussing this, we can all learn from each other.
But, in keeping with my last couple of posts, I have an altogether different question as well.
Should we try to involve our spouses with our Lodge? Our children?
Or should we keep our Lodges male only spaces, even outside of Stated Meetings and Degrees?
Are there real advantages to family involvement, or do disadvantages outweigh them?
I look forward to discussing all of this with you today.
Let’s chat about it…
I recently worked to create a Masonic Youth Recreational room for my lodge. It has a Wii, fus ball, air hockey and ping pong table, a small library of books and a good selection of board games. We host a potluck several times a year. Its easier for the younger brothers to bring the whole family when there is a place for kids to play. Then the wives and ladies can talk inst of watching the kids, knowing they have a safe place to play. The more the ladies talk, the closer the families become. That serves to strengthen the brotherhood.
If we seek to make good men better, that must include being a better husband, father and role model. That means having them around.
I'll probably be the most unpopular guy here, at least among commenters, but I'm going to jump right to heart of the second question.
I think men need AND deserve a space to be solely among brothers. I think the level of interaction and the sorts of opening up and growth that happen in such an environment is qualitatively different.
Being providers and protectors is part of what we are, and it is natural to want to look after others. Inevitably, in non brother-only spaces, the focus becomes the kids, the spouses, what kind of a time they're having. Is it the sort of event that they like? And that's fine in the vast majority of society and the vast majority of the time.
But it doesn't need to be everywhere, all the time. It's okay for some things to be about the brothers. This is the specific and exact reason I joined masonry. To be among brothers. I'm willing to bet that's why a lot of folks who get raised and then ghost joined for as well, but it's considered taboo to say that you joined a fraternity for fraternity, so they just wander way.
Social events outside of lodge, of course. Lodge picnic? Absolutely. Bowling night, without a doubt. I couldn't imagine NOT having spouses and kids there. The various concordant bodies? That's what they're there for.
Blue Lodge is for the brothers.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
(I'll take my downvotes now.)