Buying Stuff

Does it fill an emotional need?

Just prior to my trip to this year's Conference of Grand Masters of North America, I was in my local used bookstore. There to select a lowbrow novel to read on the flight to South Carolina. I picked a favorite genre fiction author, knowing that I’d be able to get through the book easily despite all the distractions airports and airplanes have to offer.

There were actually two from him on the shelf that caught my eye, and that I hadn’t read yet, so I snagged them both. I do love a good, funky, used bookstore.

It ended up being a good thing that I did, because my flights were so badly delayed that I actually read them both, plus a Stephen King novel that I picked up in the sundry shop at the Myrtle Beach airport. Two flights, three novels read. That’s got to be a record!

Photo by Eduardo Goody on Unsplash

But I digress.

Back to the point of things.

While I was in the used bookstore I was wearing a Masonic polo shirt. Indeed unless I’m dressed for work or Lodge I’m always wearing a Masonic polo shirt.¹

And the owner noticed it, so he pulled a Masonic book out from behind the counter, wanting to know if I wanted to buy it. Kind of an interesting book, probably fairly rare as it was privately published. A history of Freemasonry in the Eastern Hemisphere.

It was overpriced, but I bought it. Because I strongly believe that we must rescue Masonic treasures from the past when we can. Maybe I’ll read it someday.

Eventually it will end up in the hands of whatever individuals or institution inherits my already quite extensive and continually growing collection of Masonic books, ephemera, and things. The house is overflowing with Masonic stuff!

If there are two things I love in this world, beyond the people in my life, those things are Freemasonry and tobacco. Primarily dipping tobacco, although I’ve got a collection of fine tobacco pipes that is quite impressive, to my mind at least.

And this week seems to be tobacco buying stuff week.

I’ve always carried my dipping tobacco in my pocket. Way back in High School, the time of conformity that we all go through, it was the left back pocket of my Levi’s 501’s. Just like all of my friends. We all took great pride in the faded ring that keeping the can continually there would develop.

Of course today a kid would get booted out of school for such open display of tobacco, but that was a much different time. A time of greater freedom and lesser numbers of safety at all costs zealots trying to remake the world into their preferred dystopia.

Time passes, we grow older and wiser, learning perhaps that ruining one’s jeans in order to communicate one’s devotion to his favorite vice probably isn’t the greatest idea in the world. So my can moved to my front pocket.

It also of course became a stainless steel can made in Helsinki Finland, because one does hate the modern cans with their artistry ruined by idiotic warning labels from an overly meddlesome government.

But I’ve always loved the idea of a ‘can holster.’ A little leather holster one can wear on his belt to hold the can. I remember that these were really popular when I was a little kid. I’d see men wearing them from time to time, but by the time I took up dipping, their use had faded to nothingness.

Until that is, the wars in the Middle East. Guys fighting over there (or so the story goes) started having them made out of Kydex and hooking them to their gear. That brought the leather crafters back out.

So I bought one a few years ago. It’s really attractive, but I find that I don’t use it. It slides onto one’s belt with a loop, so can’t be easily removed, and when I’m sitting in my big chair, writing these missives to you, I want my can on the table next to me, in the wooden can holder my youngest daughter bought for me a couple of years ago, not on my belt.

Recently I found a saddle shop down in Texas that crafts what appears to be really beautiful can holsters with a spring clip belt attachment instead of a loop. A clip will not only allow me to get it off the belt easily when desired, but will also be usable when one isn’t wearing a belt. It seems perfect!

But, one does hate to waste his hard earned dollars, so before going further, I decided to wear my old can holster around a bit. To see if I’d actually wear a different one. An interesting experience.

I’m a big, fat guy. I can conceal big things on my waist. Indeed from time to time in my life there may have well been a Colt Government Model 1911 .45 ACP inside that waistband and no one would have been the wiser.

But this little can holster, with its super thick leather and outside the waistband style really ‘prints’ under a polo shirt. A quick glance by any trained eye would erroneously indicate that I was armed. Luckily there are huge numbers of folks licensed to carry in my State, so that shouldn’t prove a problem. But it’s amazing to me how much that tiny thing shows in comparison to a full sized large caliber handgun.

Too long of a story short, I decided that the can holster thing is handy and useful. If you’ve ever dug your can of dip out of a front pocket while driving you’ll understand why.

So, yesterday I called the saddle shop down in Texas, talked to the owner, told him just what I want and ordered it up. They do business different in small Texas towns I guess. He wouldn’t take my credit card. He said that he’ll make the thing first then give me a buzz and have me pay for it. How cool is that?

He did seem kind of surprised when I gave him my address here in Washington, apparently high end holders for cans of dip aren’t really popular here!

Really though, one shouldn’t in my view, limit ones love to a single form of tobacco. It is better to spread the love around, it’s all wonderful. And recently I’ve had a hankering for some good old fashioned Red Man loose leaf chew. I always loved the packaging it came in, and the flavor, ah, heaven.

But a few years back the ‘don’t hurt my feelers fanatics’ started complaining and bitchin’ to the Red Man people, so it isn’t called Red Man anymore. America’s Best now, in a goofy looking package to boot.

I can’t be seen with such an ugly package, any more than I can be seen with a can of Copenhagen Snuff with a goofy government warning on it.

So last night I was on Etsy in search of a solution.

And I found an antique leather chewing tobacco pouch from Liggett & Myers Tobacco Co. I imagine that it was made for an old form of chewing tobacco called ‘plug’ but it should work perfectly for Red Man. (No, before you tell me that it’s probably a pipe tobacco pouch, let me assure you that the text engraved into the leather reads “High Grade Chewing Tobacco.” But certainly a modern pipe tobacco pouch would work great for any chewing tobacco.)

But, I need a pouch like that like I need a hole in my head.

But, Melinda saw it on my computer screen, and declared that I do indeed need it.

So it’s on the way from Tennessee now.

The other tobacco thing I plan on purchasing this week is a pound of actual tobacco leaves. Dark Fire Cured leaves from Kentucky. I’ve got what I believe to be an excellent recipe so I’m going to try my hand at making my own dip. Now this idea has Melinda horrified with thoughts of a destroyed kitchen, but hey, it can’t be any harder than cooking. And it’ll be fun! And there are about $100 dollars in taxes here on about a pound of dip, so that’ll rob the Governor of a hundred bucks, and that has to be a good thing!

What does any of this have to do with Freemasonry you wonder.

Well, maybe not much. But maybe quite a lot. Let me explain.

Lots and lots of Masons buy lots and lots of Masonic stuff. I’m not the only one.

We’ve got Masonic Cowboy Boots. Masonic shirts of all kinds. Masonic ties. York Rite Sports Coats. Regular coats. Hats. Belts and buckles. Rings. Aprons and cases. Books. Coins and pins. The list goes on and on.

And we buy all of this stuff.

Don’t misunderstand me, I do not think that is a bad thing. I buy everything I can with a Masonic logo on it, given a choice. It is good to show our pride in our Ancient Craft, and it is good to advertise our membership in it. (Assuming that we are reflecting our Masonic values while wearing our Masonic bling.)

But buying this tobacco stuff this week got me wondering about my house full of Masonic stuff.

Do we primarily buy things reflecting our interests for practical reasons, or emotional reasons?

I have no idea. But I think it is a really interesting question to contemplate.

What do you think?

1. The shirts come from my friend Andre and they are excellent. You can get them here:

https://www.inknutz.com/