A Lodge Without Brotherhood?

It is a problem in some Lodges, but it is easily remedied.

This past week I read two separate laments from two different Brothers about the fact that they didn’t find Brotherhood within their Lodges. That despite their heavy involvement with Freemasonry, they were unable to find friendships within our Ancient Craft.

One of these Brothers is a fairly new Mason.

The other is a long time Mason, a man who has written extensively about Freemasonry, a name easily recognized by a great many Masons around the United States, perhaps the world.

These two written statements concerning a lack of Brotherhood, from two radically different Masons, does I think point out the fact that in some Lodges the Brotherhood we promise doesn’t exist. This is disheartening, for it is not difficult for a Lodge to build ties of fellowship and friendship between members. All it takes is a willingness to get the hell out of the Lodge room once in awhile.

Friendship

The best Lodges in this Jurisdiction understand this, and take it to heart.

One of our premier Lodges doesn’t actually leave their Temple as a Lodge much, but they do place an extremely strong emphasis on extensive fellowship following every meeting of the Lodge, in a space they have created to make this camaraderie possible. A space that encourages Masons to stay, linger, and build friendships.

Another, located not far from the first travels together, enjoys time together at a local lounge following their meetings, and gather together from time to time in each other’s homes. Friendships certainly grow when trips to great Masonic events are planned, with days of shared meals.

Yet another takes those home gatherings truly to heart. Every week it seems someone is hosting a meal and gathering for the Lodge in their home. That Lodge happens to be the only Lodge in my Jurisdiction that I’ve attended and found standing room only at a Stated Meeting.

One of our Districts, a District in which all of the Lodges seem to be on a continual path of improvement, goes out together. Every week, to some local bar or restaurant, inviting all of the Lodges, and those who show an interest in Masonry.

These are just a few examples from around my Jurisdiction that come quickly to mind. It is however very clear to me, having traveled so extensively in my time in the Grand Line, that Lodges that get out of the Lodge room, that do outside things as a group, are thriving. Those that don’t, generally aren’t.

I wrote the following essay a couple of years ago. It includes things that my Lodge has done, each of which helped to forge extremely strong bonds of Brotherhood. None of these things are hard to do.

If your Lodge is struggling, give one or all of the ideas below a try. Consistently done, they will help turn a struggling Lodge into a thriving Lodge.

I am reposting this essay, because the two laments I read this week, from Brothers our fraternity is losing, tells me that it is a timely reminder for all of us.

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Get Out Of The Lodge Room

How to build brotherhood by taking the Lodge out of the Lodge.

In the past two issues of Emeth, I’ve written about social and cultural issues, and how they relate to us as Freemasons. Those were heavy essays, rather difficult by their very nature.

Today I thought I’d write about something lighter, but still of great importance to Masons. Namely, how we can both grow, and improve participation in our Lodges.

At its core, it is not complicated. The formula is simple:

If you want to look around your Lodge Room, and see it filled with men, then all you have to do is get the hell out of your Lodge Room!

The simple fact of the matter is that Masons are active in their Lodges only if they have strong friendships with other men in the Lodge, and if they feel a true sense of Brotherhood within the Lodge.

These two things do not grow within the Lodge Room. They do not form during Stated Meetings of the Lodge. They can only be created when the men of the Lodge leave their Lodge room to engage together in outside settings.

Here are some things that have been used by our Lodges to build that sense of Brotherhood within the Lodge. They have all been proven to work, and quite frankly, a good Lodge leadership team will figure out how to integrate all of them into the Masonic year. (Or find a suitable substitute that fits with the interests of the Lodge of course, the point is not to necessarily use these specific ideas, rather to use activities that meet a similar need within the membership.)

Camping

Two of my Lodges, well I guess technically one of my Lodges, and one of my Masonic Districts have used camping to great effect. In radically different ways.

The District actually goes camping. They go to the Masonic Park in Granite Falls Washington where they are able to spend days together, sharing meals, sitting around the campfire, Conferring Degrees, and vitally, building powerful bonds of friendship between a very diverse group of men, and indeed those men’s families.

In my experience, this has created an extremely tight bond of men, across a number of Lodges. It has resulted in a District that works exceptionally well together, in order to create tremendous social and Masonic experiences for everyone.

The Lodge didn’t actually go camping. Although it called it camping. The Lodge liked to do this a couple of times a year, including in the height of winter, so instead of camping out of doors, it would rent a large house on the Puget Sound, and ‘camp’ inside of the house. This allowed the men of the Lodge to spend long weekends together, working together in order to create wonderful group experiences.

While the Lodge was doing its ‘camping’ on a regular basis it was growing like mad, most especially with members who were under thirty, and extremely excited.

Then the Lodge elected a Master who didn’t want to do it, then a Master who was afraid to spend the money to do it, then Masters who seemed to forget that it was the thing that the Lodge did.

What was the result?

Those new members voted with their feet.

They no longer remained active in the Lodge. The Lodge lost them, and it lost their energy, and it lost all of the work (and it was a lot of work) that group of men were doing to improve things for us all.

Of course these men would return, if the Lodge again started going camping, and started doing other things outside of the Lodge Room once again. Alas, I guess the current leadership of the Lodge just doesn’t see it.

Live Theater

As Masons we often talk about the need to integrate our member’s families into some of our Lodge activities.

One of our Lodges came up with a tremendous way to do just that.

The Lodge is located in a downtown area, with a restaurant on the same block, and a live performance venue within a few blocks. They can find a play that appeals to and is appropriate for all age groups, and turn that into a great family friendly event that is of tremendous quality for all involved. What they do is meet at the Lodge, and from there walk as a group to the restaurant for an excellent meal. Then they are off to the theater for the show. This is an event that a lodge located within a city can pull off with great ease, and in this Lodge’s experience, these events are greatly enjoyed by everyone who attends from children to very senior people.

This is such a tremendous opportunity for children to get to spend quality time with seniors, learning from them by watching, and an equally tremendous opportunity for the seniors to get a boost of energy from being around the children. An opportunity for families who share similar values to get to know and socialize together, creating those healthy bonds that are so vital to living the good life.

Steaks & Cigars

Most men love eating steak, drinking whiskey, and smoking cigars.

It is of course illegal in this day and age to smoke cigars in public places, so we have lost smoking rooms in bars and tobacconist shops, but that opens up a tremendous opportunity for our Lodges.

Most of our Lodge buildings are not open to the public, and do not have employees, and therefore, the smoking ban doesn’t apply to them.

It is very easy for a Lodge to set up a very high end, and tremendously fun evening event by hosting a Steak & Cigar Night.

Find a great caterer to bring in the food so that it is a fine (as opposed to Lodge) quality meal. Purchase some great whiskey, and enough good cigars for everyone to have a couple. Figure out what it all costs, and that becomes the ticket price.

With some advertising, Lodges can find tremendous success with dinners like this. They are highly desired, and it is a niche that given the current legal landscape very few businesses or organizations can fill.

Lodges who have held events like this have found great success with them. There is little better way for men to socialize and truly get to know each other than over a good meal, with good drink, and a good smoke.

Outdoor Degrees

In order to truly make an impression on a candidate, a Lodge must provide him with a wonderful Degree experience.

The issue is, as I see it, we can do so many Degrees over the years that we can grow complacent. The same ritual, in the same room, at the same time of day, everything always the same. It takes the excitement out of the Degree for those who are conferring it. That can result in the dreaded monotone recitation.

Some of our Lodges however make it a point to shake things up. Here in Washington we have outdoor First Degrees conferred on the Olympic Peninsula. Outdoor Second Degrees conferred in the San Juan Islands, Outdoor Third Degrees, and Outdoor Torchlight Second Degrees at our Masonic Park.

When we do unique and creative Degrees like this we are not only giving the candidate a truly rare and exceptional experience, but we are also exciting ourselves about conferring Degrees again. And that excitement carries over into all of our Degree work, resulting in better Degrees, even when we are conferring them in our Lodge Rooms.

In my view most of our Lodges have the opportunity to confer the Degrees in creative ways, and should do so. Perhaps a Lodge could borrow the outdoor Lodge Room in Quilcene, or use the outdoor Lodge Room at the Masonic Park. Closer to home, perhaps a member of the Lodge owns a private stretch of woods, or another interesting location in which a Degree could be conferred. The possibilities seem endless, and it is easy enough to move a Lodge Charter for a Degree.

Toasts

It seems to me that the time following a Lodge meeting is prime for great fellowship prior to the men heading for home. Some of our Lodges do the following, or something similar to great effect.

Buy a decent bottle of whiskey and gather up enough shot glasses. Get something fun to drink for those who avoid alcohol.

Following Stated Meetings, the Masons can gather in the dining room, and once there can share the successes, challenges, or interesting things in their lives since they were all last together. As a part of this, toasts should be made. Toasts to the successes our Brothers have had, toasts of luck and goodwill for those facing challenges, and toasts to the Brothers who are absent.

This small ritual, regularly done, is a tremendous way to build Brotherhood within the Lodge.

Before anyone objects to my promotion of this idea, yes, I do understand that some Lodges are dry. I don’t care. The very concept of dry Lodges is an innovation that came about as part of the temperance movement in the United States, it is an un-masonic innovation, and as such needs not be honored or considered. We must remember that the first Grand Lodge, from which we all sprang was formed in a tavern.

BBQ

Most everyone loves BBQ, in whatever form it may take. From hot dogs on the grill to brisket on the smoker, we love our BBQ.

Luckily, lots of men love BBQing too, so that makes putting on some great social events extremely easy for a Lodge.

When the weather is good, our Lodges should be having BBQ’s on a regular basis. These can be done at our Lodge buildings, and they can be done at the homes of our Masons. If the Lodge buys the food and then puts out a donation can for the folks who attend, the cost doesn’t end up hitting anyone.

There are not many easier ways to build friendships among the members of a Lodge than for them to be standing around the grill, cooking together, and sharing the meal that they prepared. These can be tremendous family events too, depending on the occasion.

Holiday Parties

In my view, a Lodge should never let a good holiday go to waste!

At Halloween, if a Lodge building is in an urban area, open it up in the afternoon, get one of our youth groups to stand at the entrance handing out candy to Trick or Treaters. Once that ends, it’s costume party time for the adults.

Most of our Lodge buildings are quite old with wood pane windows. During parties like this, if the glass in those windows isn’t vibrating, the music needs to be turned up!

An event like this accomplishes two very important things.

First of all, it is a great experience for the members of the Lodge. We can take our wives to a great party, dance, enjoy our friends, and forget the cares of the day.

Secondly (and this is why I wasn’t joking about the music volume above) to the average person in the town in which our Lodge Building stands, it is just there. A big old building, looking perpetually empty and devoid of life. A party like this, and our youth handing out candy like this, shows our community that there is light and life within our building. It shows them that Freemasons exist, are active, and have fun! We can not leave our buildings dark all the time or people will naturally assume that our Fraternity is dead.

Halloween is just a single example. A Lodge should plan something fun around every holiday.

Heck, our Grand Lodge of Washington will be having a most excellent Christmas Party in 2021, in beautiful Puerto Vallarta Mexico, with a great rock band! Luckily my Mother’s home where we will be rocking out has no nearby neighbors. If you want to come, we would love to have you, just let me know!

The point of all this is that we should enjoy our lives. We should fill Freemasonry with Light and Life! Holidays are the perfect occasions for us to do just that.

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Mass Visitations

Visiting Lodges from Jurisdictions other than our own can be tremendously fun and interesting. Lodges can, and should work visitations like this into their schedules.

There are ritual changes from Grand Lodge to Grand Lodge, even among directly neighboring Grand Lodges. It is interesting to visit the neighbors and see the differences between their work and our own.

Lodges in other Jurisdictions also often have different kinds of activities, or different ways of providing programs. Once in awhile we will see a practice while visiting that is superior to our own Lodge’s way of doing things. When that happens, we can bring it home to our own Lodge, improving it through the process.

As for me, one of the best ideas I ever had when I was in the East was actually an idea I poached from a foreign Lodge. I saw it there, deemed it just about perfect and brought it home. No easier way to be declared the Man With The Brilliant Ideas!

Game Night

We might not like to admit it, but most of us love games. A truly fun evening can be had in the Lodge with virtually no work needed.

Just ask the Brothers to bring their ladies, a favorite snack, and a favorite game. Once everyone has gathered, figure out what games everyone wants to play and engage. With enough people, multiple games can be going on at once, so everyone will find something that they like to play.

If only adults are involved, then games can get a bit more adult of course. One Lodge I’ve been to such events at sometimes included children, sometimes just adults. I do remember one night where the table was filled with people playing Cards Against Humanity almost the whole night through. I kept thinking it would end, but alas, it lasted until the approach of dawn.

There is little better way to build friendship and fellowship than with people sitting together around a table, laughing uncontrollably, for quite literally hours.

Work

The final thing I would like to touch upon is work.

Spending time together, working on a meaningful project, struggling through, is one of the fastest ways in which a strong and lasting Brotherhood can be forged.

If a Masonic Temple needs some work, and if we can all join in on that work together, we will emerge from that project tighter and stronger than we were before it. Likewise with work done for charity or other meaningful purposes. We shouldn’t overlook the chance to build Brotherhood that projects like this bring about.

Emeth has readers who are members of Kennewick Lodge. That Lodge has just such a project going on right now. How great is it to see all the photographs of them working together. I’ll bet that to a man they would say that they have deepened friendships as this major project has gone on.

In conclusion I’d just like to point out that none of these ideas are difficult for a Lodge or a Worshipful Master to pull off. Most of them require little more than picking a date and inviting people to attend.

All of them will however build a sense of Brotherhood within a Lodge. If they are done regularly, and with some good level of frequency, men will want their friends to join in on the fun. That is how a Lodge grows. If then these things continue, those new men will remain active, and they in turn will start to bring their friends. Soon, a Lodge room can be filled with men.

There is much hand wringing in our Fraternity about membership number declines, and many elaborate plans to increase membership.

It’s just not that complicated.

If a Lodge is active, interesting, educational, and fun, men will come. If it is enough of each of those things they will bring their friends. That is the only model needed for Lodge growth.

Where we fall down is where we do not start.

The other place we fall down is when we elect Lodge leaders who refuse to continue what is shown to work.

Both of those things are within our control.