Today members of the Millennial Generation are between their mid-20’s and early 40’s. Prime age for becoming active Freemasons. We should be reaching them, not only for the energy and vigor that younger members can bring our Craft, but for their own good as well.
Polls have found that:
30% of Millennials say that they feel lonely.
27% report having no close friends.
22% report having no friends at all.
39% of married Millennials say that they are at least occasionally lonely.
28% of young men between the ages of 18 and 30 have not had sex within the past year.
None of this is normal. These numbers have risen very dramatically over the past thirty years. And the trend continues with 61% of young men aged 18 to 25 reporting feeling serious loneliness frequently, almost all the time, or all the time. One survey, by health insurer Cigna put this number as high as 80%.
Social media and the artificial connections formed there do not help. With 75% of very heavy social media users reporting feeling lonely, compared to 52% of light users.
These numbers are not similar across gender. Young women are less lonely, have more friends, and have more sex. This loneliness plague is largely a male phenomenon.
When we watch the news and see young men doing truly insane criminal things, is it any wonder given the statistics above?
If you have no friends, nothing meaningful to do, no girlfriend, no one to sexually explore with, are not those the very seeds that lead to fantasies of atrocities?
Most disturbing, to my mind anyway, is the fact that our own experiences teach us that it becomes more difficult to build friendships the older we get. If today’s youngest men are unable to forge meaningful friendships now, they are surely doomed to lifetimes of loneliness and social isolation. If they can’t find a sexual partner now, how much harder will it be when they are middle aged and look like me, bald and chunky?
Just a quick look at the number of mass shootings in this country carried out by lonely young men proves that our society can not survive well unless this problem gets addressed, for more years of loneliness will only serve to radicalize a larger and larger number of men.
Freemasonry of course has the answer.
We provide a space for meaningful interactions with other men.
We make strong and deep friendships between men possible.
We offer role-models and mentoring, opportunities for men just starting out in life to learn from the men who have been there and done that.
We create a safe space in which men can discuss the issues they are facing within their lives with other men.
We allow men to strengthen themselves by working with and being held accountable by other men.
We create a situation whereby younger men who need to figure out their lives can seek advice and help from older men whom they look up to.
Freemasonry can solve the loneliness crisis the young men of our nation are facing. Freemasonry can give them the means to create strong friendships. Freemasonry can even help get them laid by providing an example of men women look up too that they can emulate.
But all of this begs the question:
How does Freemasonry convince our broader society that it has the solution to this extremely serious problem?
How does Freemasonry convince our broader society? Personally I think the easy answer is "it doesn't". I know what you're getting at and I think it's an extremely worthy discussion, but I would frame the question maybe differently.
We don't/can't convince anybody of anything, fundamentally - for if we actually did this and were successful at it, there'd be questions about whether people were coming of their own free will and accord in the first place (which we know they must).
Here's a different frame: all we really need to do is be visible, so that thinking men of any age can weigh their options and do what's right for them. Based on population norms in past generations, even at membership height, Freemasonry probably wasn't the right choice for most men, but we definitely have a lot to offer particularly a type of personality I'd call "disconnected seekers".
All we really need is a seat at the cultural conversation table. Merely sitting at the table alerts thinking men with eyes to your presence, and then at some point people knock or they don't, you know?
What does "having a seat at the table" look like though? It means being open and vocal about the issues of the day -- *specifically through the lens of masonic principles*. I'm specifically not talking about Masons being "political", I'm talking about framing all of our statements relative to Masonic principles. Concrete example here: https://www.grandlodge-nc.org/storage/wysiwyg/united_at_the_capitol.pdf
It means lodges digging deeper too on the charity front. I was recently at a community award ceremony with a lodge where the lodge gave a substantial cash grant to a local non-profit and publicly praised them for the work they're doing in the community. Focus on the things you want to see more of, basically.
None of this is recruiting, and none of this is political. It's just presence really. Men either come to the craft through close personal relationships (father, uncle, friend) or they get intrigued and do their own research. It really boils down to this: as the generational links in families get severed, people can come to us by watching "National Treasure" with all the wrong ideas, or they can come to us because they've seen us in the town squares.
The only problem is that Millennials are not "joiners". Makes it much more difficult to attract men into our fraternity, and might explain their feelings of loneliness. There is also the sharp decline with church attendance, which I think also contributes. Many more women then men attend worship services and may in part explain why women have more friends, etc.
Young people also tend to not be politically active, are less informed, and are more gullible.
Just my impressions as a grumpy old man.