What do we listen for, brother? Why does an ear matter? How will that listening change things, for one or all?
I've been through so many leadership trainings, and have spent months in college classes where there are some similar terms offered, yet, no definitions given. "Active listening," "servant leadership," "walk the talk." And while I've gained much over my short 36 moons, I've realized most of those teachings stink like a cow's ass -- they're lip service. They mean nothing when the one giving it is full of shit.
So what does that mean for us, as masons? Given the cultural and public persona of Freemasonry. We're faced with a public image of mystery, conspiracy, and outright evil (depending). Perhaps it doesn't matter at all, and this is just a moment, not even a blip in the story of All, and as we became, we will become. Dust to dust, ash to ash. Potential to kinetic ed infinitum.
I think that we listen for what a Brother might need. What I mean by that is that Brothers will rarely ask for help, as most of us prefer to appear strong. But I think that if we listen carefully we can sometimes hear what a Brother might need, without him actually asking. And of course if we do figure it out, and can provide some assistance in some way, we are doing good. We are providing relief.
That said, I don't disagree with you at all about the various 'trainings' I've been to in my professional life. They are indeed lip service. Through my time with the Legislature I will say that I created quite an art out of figuring out how to avoid such things! That said, I've tried to take advantage of work trainings that offered 'hard' skills. Such as classes on writing for clarity.
I think that we as Freemasons will never actually be able to drive our own public image. That it is well cemented by those outside of our Craft, and it has been that way for hundreds of years. What we can do is ensure that no matter what our public image might be, the men who attend our Lodge take something of ongoing value away from their participation within it.
Prophetic use of "relief" in a time when many men and masons feel alone. Regarding charity, our time freely given to the aid of a poor, distressed brother may be the most valuable offer.
I would just add that many Brothers occasionally need a ride and a companion for medical appointments. Not too recently I had a procedure requiring someone to sit in the lobby during my event, and a fellow retired Brother helped me out. And of course, I reciprocated.
Volunteering as a math or reading tutor is also a wonderful act of charity, where too many children really love to have an extra 'grandpa'. While it does require a few hoops to jump through in this age of safety, the thanks from a child and the teacher makes one wonder who is the beneficiary of the charity, especially when one feels alone.
Thank you for providing these two concrete examples about how we can help.
I might take it just a single step further on the medical appointments. From time to time my wife has to go in for an outpatient procedure that she can't drive herself home from as she's still a bit under the effects of the old knock you out drugs when they throw her out of the place.
So, before they begin, they make the patient prove that they have a ride home.
It kind of sucks to be the driver, because the thing takes hours, and the waiting area is more unpleasant than most such places.
I've never asked anyone to drive her, or anything else, but for years now, whenever this happens, one of our friends shows up. Not to drive, but simply to keep me company so that I'm not bored while I wait. Instead of thumbing through 20 year old magazines, we are able to have great conversation.
Please let me offer an interesting story about Masonic "Relief". In the early 1820's, Jonathan Jackson was a worthy member of Hermon Masonic Lodge in Clarksburg Virginia. As an Attorney, he earned good pay. After Lodge meetings, he played cards with many of his Masonic Lodge Brothers.
Jonathan was not good at his card playing, and lost a lot of $$$ to his Brothers. Jonathan Jackson died of typhoid fever, leaving his wife a widow with young children, including 2-year-old Thomas. The Masonic Lodge Brothers supported the Widow & Orphan, as they felt $$$ they took from playing cards with Jonathan should pay for housing and food (relief)!
The Widow remarried, and later in his teen years the young Thomas became upset. He ran away to go work as an Apprentice at his Uncle's Mill. When Thomas was of age, he was sent to fill a vacancy at USMA West Point. Many years later, after military duty in Mexico, Thomas became a Professor at Virginia Military Academy.
When the Civil War started, he became Thomas J. "Stonewall" Jackson.
At the conference of Grand Masters in 1953. Most Worshipful Brother Harry Howard, who served as Grand Master of the Grand Lodge of Alberta in 1952, said this about charity:
"It would be well at this point to deal with the quality of Charity and to consider what it consists of. To give money to the poor is a beautiful act, but hardly as important as to give love, unstinted, without hope of gain or reward."
A passage in one of the Masonic lectures says this:
"To soothe the unhappy, to sympathize in their misfortunes, to compassionate their miseries, and to restore peace to their troubled minds, is the great aim we have in view.
Think about each of these words of Masonic charity:
• Empathy
• Compassion
• Listening
• Toleration
• Understanding
• Mentoring
• Leading
• Friendship
Each requires not your treasures, but your time and your talents. How well are you prepared to give them?
I think that perhaps at some point in our Masonic history it just became easier to write a check than to truly consider these other forms of relief. And as time went on, we collectively came to view Charity as tightly connected with the checkbook.
But that removes the personal meaning from the giving of Relief, and isn't the kind of Relief that the vast majority of our Brothers will benefit from.
I appreciate you providing this list, it certainly gives us much to ponder when considering how we can best provide Masonic Relief.
I firmly believe that the "relief" part ties directly to part of our obligation we're giving in the 2nd and 3rd degree.
We're supposed to look out for each other, and help each other when needed. Not blindly, of course, the brother should be worthy of our help. This also ties into public perceptions, especially in the UK/Europe where conspiracy accusations of masonic nepotism is so bad that there were some attempts to expose it:
(From Google) United Kingdom: In 1999, the Welsh Assembly was the only body to legally require members to declare Freemasonry status. In England, a policy for successful judicial candidates to declare their status was introduced but later revoked in 2009 after a European Court challenge.
The morgan affair (which I've talked about before) had a disastrous effect on not only public perception, but also how we viewed ourselves. Scrambling away from an esoteric, closed, "secret" good old boys network to a charity and social club fraternity was the result we're living with today.
MW Brother, I think we need to focus on making Charity a positive thing again. Removing the stigmas associated with it by being intentional in our approach to it.
There are a great many who are leery of charities and non-profits due to their mismanagement, lack of transparency, or abuse of resources. Worse yet, those who use charitable efforts to wash clean their less scrupulous practices. Giving heavily, yet failing to address the root problems that led to their charity in the first place.
When one gives a check with pomp and fare, how far does it go, and how long is it remembered? Does this permanently solve the issues faced by the recipient? Does it help perpetually promote the organizations purpose beyond the signing of the check and a customary photo? Or would we be best served finding more permanent and far reaching solutions? Ensuring those who need charity, never require it again? Perhaps even going further to ensure that they themselves are capable of offering it in the future?
I am reminded of the parable, "Give a man a fish, he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, you will feed him for a lifetime." I think we need to refer to our earlier Brethren. Builders of men, of community, and of society. I think this is the example we need to bring to our Lodges, ensuring the relief that is offered is what will do the most good, for the recipient, their supporters, and the future of the Craft.
In times where my family and I struggled, in part due to my fathers life choices, and in part due to unfortunate circumstances, it was the people who dug in beside us/me that I remember most. Not the monetary contributions. Not because the finances didn't help, or because they weren't needed, a couple times they desperately were. It was the sense of community and belonging that they offered, for a season, that helped make it possible to make better choices than those that I had inherited and been given as examples. Showing through their actions and support that the world can be a better place, if we merely try.
For many of us, the desire to be better can be lost in the maelstrom of a world gone mad, where seemingly nothing is out of bounds. Sometimes we just need the hope of a kind stranger, friend, or neighbor to illuminate the way. Lighting the path back to community, fellowship, and a brighter world.
I am not certain how many, or if any of those who showed us kindness were Masons or not. Though many of them could not have been by definition... I do know that their charity helped me to avoid even darker times, by showing that there was another path. Without them, I likely wouldn't be here today, but for their kindness and gentle guidance towards a better way.
The epidemic of loneliness certainly is real and is something that psychologists and cultural anthropologists will study for years to come.
It is something that I personally can be affected by on a daily basis where my work is mostly a solo endeavor and I may only share a quick greeting to clients and type in the rest of my findings about their HVAC issues on their work order, or mostly communicate via email or text.
I don’t really get on with my co-workers as I do not share the same interests as they do, their conversations revolve around hunting or guns, I’m a writer, artist, and researcher.
So, mostly my lonely state is self imposed, I enjoy time to read and write and play with my cat, Boudica, and enjoy time with my wife, who also stays away from making friends.
And, also, we have both been betrayed by people who we have been close to, so we both are weary to reach out.
Are we happy?
Mostly.
But, I can also report I am invigorated when I DO have a good interaction with other people.
I can report that human interaction is necessary and our interconnectedness with each other and nature is what makes humanity thrive.
The verbal sharing of ideals has a life that the written sharing of ideals does not have.
I agree that Masonic relief includes connection, non-judgmental connection with our fellow human.
Masonic ritual shows us that there is power in words, and maybe connecting with a kind word to someone who may seem alone is a great start to this relief.
Thank you for sharing this, it certainly has caused me to reconsider some of my self imposed loneliness.
What do we listen for, brother? Why does an ear matter? How will that listening change things, for one or all?
I've been through so many leadership trainings, and have spent months in college classes where there are some similar terms offered, yet, no definitions given. "Active listening," "servant leadership," "walk the talk." And while I've gained much over my short 36 moons, I've realized most of those teachings stink like a cow's ass -- they're lip service. They mean nothing when the one giving it is full of shit.
So what does that mean for us, as masons? Given the cultural and public persona of Freemasonry. We're faced with a public image of mystery, conspiracy, and outright evil (depending). Perhaps it doesn't matter at all, and this is just a moment, not even a blip in the story of All, and as we became, we will become. Dust to dust, ash to ash. Potential to kinetic ed infinitum.
I think that we listen for what a Brother might need. What I mean by that is that Brothers will rarely ask for help, as most of us prefer to appear strong. But I think that if we listen carefully we can sometimes hear what a Brother might need, without him actually asking. And of course if we do figure it out, and can provide some assistance in some way, we are doing good. We are providing relief.
That said, I don't disagree with you at all about the various 'trainings' I've been to in my professional life. They are indeed lip service. Through my time with the Legislature I will say that I created quite an art out of figuring out how to avoid such things! That said, I've tried to take advantage of work trainings that offered 'hard' skills. Such as classes on writing for clarity.
I think that we as Freemasons will never actually be able to drive our own public image. That it is well cemented by those outside of our Craft, and it has been that way for hundreds of years. What we can do is ensure that no matter what our public image might be, the men who attend our Lodge take something of ongoing value away from their participation within it.
Prophetic use of "relief" in a time when many men and masons feel alone. Regarding charity, our time freely given to the aid of a poor, distressed brother may be the most valuable offer.
I would just add that many Brothers occasionally need a ride and a companion for medical appointments. Not too recently I had a procedure requiring someone to sit in the lobby during my event, and a fellow retired Brother helped me out. And of course, I reciprocated.
Volunteering as a math or reading tutor is also a wonderful act of charity, where too many children really love to have an extra 'grandpa'. While it does require a few hoops to jump through in this age of safety, the thanks from a child and the teacher makes one wonder who is the beneficiary of the charity, especially when one feels alone.
Thank you for providing these two concrete examples about how we can help.
I might take it just a single step further on the medical appointments. From time to time my wife has to go in for an outpatient procedure that she can't drive herself home from as she's still a bit under the effects of the old knock you out drugs when they throw her out of the place.
So, before they begin, they make the patient prove that they have a ride home.
It kind of sucks to be the driver, because the thing takes hours, and the waiting area is more unpleasant than most such places.
I've never asked anyone to drive her, or anything else, but for years now, whenever this happens, one of our friends shows up. Not to drive, but simply to keep me company so that I'm not bored while I wait. Instead of thumbing through 20 year old magazines, we are able to have great conversation.
And how cool is that?
Thank you Brother. I'm pleased that what I was trying to communicate in this post came through.
MWPGM Bailey,
Please let me offer an interesting story about Masonic "Relief". In the early 1820's, Jonathan Jackson was a worthy member of Hermon Masonic Lodge in Clarksburg Virginia. As an Attorney, he earned good pay. After Lodge meetings, he played cards with many of his Masonic Lodge Brothers.
Jonathan was not good at his card playing, and lost a lot of $$$ to his Brothers. Jonathan Jackson died of typhoid fever, leaving his wife a widow with young children, including 2-year-old Thomas. The Masonic Lodge Brothers supported the Widow & Orphan, as they felt $$$ they took from playing cards with Jonathan should pay for housing and food (relief)!
The Widow remarried, and later in his teen years the young Thomas became upset. He ran away to go work as an Apprentice at his Uncle's Mill. When Thomas was of age, he was sent to fill a vacancy at USMA West Point. Many years later, after military duty in Mexico, Thomas became a Professor at Virginia Military Academy.
When the Civil War started, he became Thomas J. "Stonewall" Jackson.
Masonic Charity without a Checkbook
At the conference of Grand Masters in 1953. Most Worshipful Brother Harry Howard, who served as Grand Master of the Grand Lodge of Alberta in 1952, said this about charity:
"It would be well at this point to deal with the quality of Charity and to consider what it consists of. To give money to the poor is a beautiful act, but hardly as important as to give love, unstinted, without hope of gain or reward."
A passage in one of the Masonic lectures says this:
"To soothe the unhappy, to sympathize in their misfortunes, to compassionate their miseries, and to restore peace to their troubled minds, is the great aim we have in view.
Think about each of these words of Masonic charity:
• Empathy
• Compassion
• Listening
• Toleration
• Understanding
• Mentoring
• Leading
• Friendship
Each requires not your treasures, but your time and your talents. How well are you prepared to give them?
I think that perhaps at some point in our Masonic history it just became easier to write a check than to truly consider these other forms of relief. And as time went on, we collectively came to view Charity as tightly connected with the checkbook.
But that removes the personal meaning from the giving of Relief, and isn't the kind of Relief that the vast majority of our Brothers will benefit from.
I appreciate you providing this list, it certainly gives us much to ponder when considering how we can best provide Masonic Relief.
I firmly believe that the "relief" part ties directly to part of our obligation we're giving in the 2nd and 3rd degree.
We're supposed to look out for each other, and help each other when needed. Not blindly, of course, the brother should be worthy of our help. This also ties into public perceptions, especially in the UK/Europe where conspiracy accusations of masonic nepotism is so bad that there were some attempts to expose it:
(From Google) United Kingdom: In 1999, the Welsh Assembly was the only body to legally require members to declare Freemasonry status. In England, a policy for successful judicial candidates to declare their status was introduced but later revoked in 2009 after a European Court challenge.
The morgan affair (which I've talked about before) had a disastrous effect on not only public perception, but also how we viewed ourselves. Scrambling away from an esoteric, closed, "secret" good old boys network to a charity and social club fraternity was the result we're living with today.
MW Brother, I think we need to focus on making Charity a positive thing again. Removing the stigmas associated with it by being intentional in our approach to it.
There are a great many who are leery of charities and non-profits due to their mismanagement, lack of transparency, or abuse of resources. Worse yet, those who use charitable efforts to wash clean their less scrupulous practices. Giving heavily, yet failing to address the root problems that led to their charity in the first place.
When one gives a check with pomp and fare, how far does it go, and how long is it remembered? Does this permanently solve the issues faced by the recipient? Does it help perpetually promote the organizations purpose beyond the signing of the check and a customary photo? Or would we be best served finding more permanent and far reaching solutions? Ensuring those who need charity, never require it again? Perhaps even going further to ensure that they themselves are capable of offering it in the future?
I am reminded of the parable, "Give a man a fish, he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, you will feed him for a lifetime." I think we need to refer to our earlier Brethren. Builders of men, of community, and of society. I think this is the example we need to bring to our Lodges, ensuring the relief that is offered is what will do the most good, for the recipient, their supporters, and the future of the Craft.
In times where my family and I struggled, in part due to my fathers life choices, and in part due to unfortunate circumstances, it was the people who dug in beside us/me that I remember most. Not the monetary contributions. Not because the finances didn't help, or because they weren't needed, a couple times they desperately were. It was the sense of community and belonging that they offered, for a season, that helped make it possible to make better choices than those that I had inherited and been given as examples. Showing through their actions and support that the world can be a better place, if we merely try.
For many of us, the desire to be better can be lost in the maelstrom of a world gone mad, where seemingly nothing is out of bounds. Sometimes we just need the hope of a kind stranger, friend, or neighbor to illuminate the way. Lighting the path back to community, fellowship, and a brighter world.
I am not certain how many, or if any of those who showed us kindness were Masons or not. Though many of them could not have been by definition... I do know that their charity helped me to avoid even darker times, by showing that there was another path. Without them, I likely wouldn't be here today, but for their kindness and gentle guidance towards a better way.
The epidemic of loneliness certainly is real and is something that psychologists and cultural anthropologists will study for years to come.
It is something that I personally can be affected by on a daily basis where my work is mostly a solo endeavor and I may only share a quick greeting to clients and type in the rest of my findings about their HVAC issues on their work order, or mostly communicate via email or text.
I don’t really get on with my co-workers as I do not share the same interests as they do, their conversations revolve around hunting or guns, I’m a writer, artist, and researcher.
So, mostly my lonely state is self imposed, I enjoy time to read and write and play with my cat, Boudica, and enjoy time with my wife, who also stays away from making friends.
And, also, we have both been betrayed by people who we have been close to, so we both are weary to reach out.
Are we happy?
Mostly.
But, I can also report I am invigorated when I DO have a good interaction with other people.
I can report that human interaction is necessary and our interconnectedness with each other and nature is what makes humanity thrive.
The verbal sharing of ideals has a life that the written sharing of ideals does not have.
I agree that Masonic relief includes connection, non-judgmental connection with our fellow human.
Masonic ritual shows us that there is power in words, and maybe connecting with a kind word to someone who may seem alone is a great start to this relief.
Thank you for sharing this, it certainly has caused me to reconsider some of my self imposed loneliness.