This is an excellent question. There is a good chance the Brethren also knew the wife and kids personally just by being in the community. Even if Brothers don't feel beholden to assist through Masonic obligation, I would still recommend supporting on a personal level as good human beings.
I read that comment and it stopped me in my tracks, and stayed with me throughout the day.
Honestly, I'm still torn with the situation. By offering support to the wife and children, but condemning the Husband/Father, are we talking out both sides of our mouth? Or are we just holding steadfast to our beliefs in masonry for both the man and the family? Which is the Man can no longer be a Mason but we committed to helping the family in times of need. I believe offering support to the family is the right thing to do, as a Mason and a human.
That tear of sympathy ought not to be confined to the wayward brother but extended to his family. Expulsion from the Craft does not mean expulsion from the human race .
Short answer. Yes. We are obligated to assist the widows and orphans.
But... only if she files divorce and the relationship is truly dead. If she's still with him, then she is supporting him and therefore no longer entitled to our help.
First, Masons have an obligation to assist widows and orphans. In this case, his wife is not a widow nor are his children orphans.
If his wife believes Masons should "defend the brother's character" and protect him, then she doesn't understand Freemasonry and our obligations.
The next point is a question as well. Once he is suspended or expelled, he is no longer a Mason. So, as we discussed yesterday, our obligations to him, as a Mason on his part, have ended. BUT is there more we could or should do?
Our closing charge could factor in. Every human being has a claim upon your kind offices. We could fall back on that and say we should help his wife regardless.
Here is the slippery part.
A Mason in our state was expelled. During his suspension period, nasty communications were sent from his wife. At first it was thought to be shock at how fellow Masons could treat her husband after all his years of service. Many of his friends defended his character and it cause a split in a Masonic body.
Investigations uncovered much, including a potential complicit aspect on the part of his wife.
So, now what? If you reach out and get involved, but then find out that the wife is involved in some way, we end up back into the issue of "covering up" for our fellow Masons.
I believe we let events unfold and play out as they should. If his wife were to divorce him because of his acts, meaning she is not involved in the scheme, would she reach out for support? Likely not. But at that time, I would be inclined to ask, "How can I help?"
MW Cameron, thank you for posting my question for a follow on discussion. I didn't have an answer when I asked it, and I still don't. As I continue to reflect on this perhaps the important thing is that we at least ask the question. What if we help? What if we don't? The odds of determining a clear and indisputable answer are probably very low. Facts and circumstances will be unique to each situation. I think a Mason's place in the world is to start by considering the facts and circumstances with an open mind.
Seeing as we are taking about our wives, i decided to ask her what relief or assistance she might expect of the lodge if I were arrested and convicted of a truly horrible crime, that would lead me to being expelled from the craft.
She said if I'm not a Mason, then she wouldn't expect any. But our consensus is that she would hope her community (the Brothers and their wives that actually are friends as well) would step in and offer care as they can, as far as she needs.
She did have an interesting thought. If a Mason was killed during a criminal activity, the wife would then be the widow of a Mason. Would she still get relief as our charge states?
Not a solution, but I have the perspective of "visit the imprisoned".
I had a martial arts student who went to jail for assault. He was guilty. I wrote to and visited him, and even drove his wife and child to visit. I felt a certain responsibility toward him, especially since I was his mentor in things that overlapped morality. But I'm not sure it would have been wrong to walk away.
A Masonic Brother from a local Lodge was found to be living under an assumed name, and had a criminal record from 40 years ago that would be worthy of late night TV. He was expelled, of course, but we still exchange Christmas cards. Some think that's crazy. I say it's Christian. I won't call him Brother any more, but he's a human being and my (limited) contact with him isn't based on his guilt or innocence. My showing kindness is about me, not him.
As for your situation, I will not say we OWE his wife and family anything as Masons. But it wouldn't be wrong to help or give comfort, and even less wrong to do it as individuals who knew him rather than as a Lodge.
Our obligation binds us to charity (Agape) to all, more especially widows and orphans. I do not see any reason that the charity would not extend to the wife or family. Though a man may have strayed on his path, we shouldn't condemn him. I know my faith and my own belief in forgiveness requires that I do. That said, I don't have to trust him, and while i can support the man, i do not have to consider him a mason. Practiced Freemasonry is not salvation, nor is it a religion. That is a relationship between the man and his creator. Forgiveness and charity is the practice or relationship between we and all. Trust must be earned. Once spent, it will never be the same. In so much, freemasonry, the fraternity is a practice of trust.
This is an excellent question. There is a good chance the Brethren also knew the wife and kids personally just by being in the community. Even if Brothers don't feel beholden to assist through Masonic obligation, I would still recommend supporting on a personal level as good human beings.
I read that comment and it stopped me in my tracks, and stayed with me throughout the day.
Honestly, I'm still torn with the situation. By offering support to the wife and children, but condemning the Husband/Father, are we talking out both sides of our mouth? Or are we just holding steadfast to our beliefs in masonry for both the man and the family? Which is the Man can no longer be a Mason but we committed to helping the family in times of need. I believe offering support to the family is the right thing to do, as a Mason and a human.
That tear of sympathy ought not to be confined to the wayward brother but extended to his family. Expulsion from the Craft does not mean expulsion from the human race .
Short answer. Yes. We are obligated to assist the widows and orphans.
But... only if she files divorce and the relationship is truly dead. If she's still with him, then she is supporting him and therefore no longer entitled to our help.
A slippery slope. Here's why I lean that way.
First, Masons have an obligation to assist widows and orphans. In this case, his wife is not a widow nor are his children orphans.
If his wife believes Masons should "defend the brother's character" and protect him, then she doesn't understand Freemasonry and our obligations.
The next point is a question as well. Once he is suspended or expelled, he is no longer a Mason. So, as we discussed yesterday, our obligations to him, as a Mason on his part, have ended. BUT is there more we could or should do?
Our closing charge could factor in. Every human being has a claim upon your kind offices. We could fall back on that and say we should help his wife regardless.
Here is the slippery part.
A Mason in our state was expelled. During his suspension period, nasty communications were sent from his wife. At first it was thought to be shock at how fellow Masons could treat her husband after all his years of service. Many of his friends defended his character and it cause a split in a Masonic body.
Investigations uncovered much, including a potential complicit aspect on the part of his wife.
So, now what? If you reach out and get involved, but then find out that the wife is involved in some way, we end up back into the issue of "covering up" for our fellow Masons.
I believe we let events unfold and play out as they should. If his wife were to divorce him because of his acts, meaning she is not involved in the scheme, would she reach out for support? Likely not. But at that time, I would be inclined to ask, "How can I help?"
MW Cameron, thank you for posting my question for a follow on discussion. I didn't have an answer when I asked it, and I still don't. As I continue to reflect on this perhaps the important thing is that we at least ask the question. What if we help? What if we don't? The odds of determining a clear and indisputable answer are probably very low. Facts and circumstances will be unique to each situation. I think a Mason's place in the world is to start by considering the facts and circumstances with an open mind.
Seeing as we are taking about our wives, i decided to ask her what relief or assistance she might expect of the lodge if I were arrested and convicted of a truly horrible crime, that would lead me to being expelled from the craft.
She said if I'm not a Mason, then she wouldn't expect any. But our consensus is that she would hope her community (the Brothers and their wives that actually are friends as well) would step in and offer care as they can, as far as she needs.
She did have an interesting thought. If a Mason was killed during a criminal activity, the wife would then be the widow of a Mason. Would she still get relief as our charge states?
Not a solution, but I have the perspective of "visit the imprisoned".
I had a martial arts student who went to jail for assault. He was guilty. I wrote to and visited him, and even drove his wife and child to visit. I felt a certain responsibility toward him, especially since I was his mentor in things that overlapped morality. But I'm not sure it would have been wrong to walk away.
A Masonic Brother from a local Lodge was found to be living under an assumed name, and had a criminal record from 40 years ago that would be worthy of late night TV. He was expelled, of course, but we still exchange Christmas cards. Some think that's crazy. I say it's Christian. I won't call him Brother any more, but he's a human being and my (limited) contact with him isn't based on his guilt or innocence. My showing kindness is about me, not him.
As for your situation, I will not say we OWE his wife and family anything as Masons. But it wouldn't be wrong to help or give comfort, and even less wrong to do it as individuals who knew him rather than as a Lodge.
My 2cents anyway ...
Our obligation binds us to charity (Agape) to all, more especially widows and orphans. I do not see any reason that the charity would not extend to the wife or family. Though a man may have strayed on his path, we shouldn't condemn him. I know my faith and my own belief in forgiveness requires that I do. That said, I don't have to trust him, and while i can support the man, i do not have to consider him a mason. Practiced Freemasonry is not salvation, nor is it a religion. That is a relationship between the man and his creator. Forgiveness and charity is the practice or relationship between we and all. Trust must be earned. Once spent, it will never be the same. In so much, freemasonry, the fraternity is a practice of trust.