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Glenn Geiss's avatar

Know thy audience. Have a thicker skin.

A great friend of mine and I would have relatively civil arguments about union issues. He's very pro union, and I am pretty anti public sector union. I don't mind unions forming through private corporations, as they deserve to collectively bargain with the companies they work for.

But occasionally we would disagree about a topic, and go back and forth a few times stating our cases, but in the end we'd usually agree to disagree and move on.

Well, his wife took exception to my discourse, and proceeded to send me some very heated texts telling me to leave her husband alone, and that I was mean and an asshole. Keep in mind, both my friend and I to this day get along great. We both have the ability of separating politics from friendship. At no time did we stoop to anger. But, in the interest of harmony, I had to unfollow him on social media, because I didn't want to engage in further heated conversations with the spouse.

But you are right, the public narrative being pushed is meant to sow hate, fear and disharmony, a divided society is easier to control while our government robs us blind. Entire families and friendships have been torn apart over politics.

John Gebhart's avatar

There's no question that social media has emboldened the hateful, and thereby has normalized hate. Yes, let's preserve our dignity with our online remarks. We can at least be proud of that. But there's only so much that this can accomplish; social media is thick with people looking for a fight that they won't shy away from when they don't have to look their readers in the eye. But let's preserve our dignity online anyway. And let's do more.

Years ago I was walking through Pioneer Square on my way to Starbucks for a mid-morning refresher when a young woman holding a clipboard bearing a sticker from the other party approached me and asked me to sign something, which I declined and explained that I was going to stick with my party. I continued toward Starbucks and as I opened the door I heard her from behind me saying, "Oh, that's a good idea", and she followed me in. As we stood in line I braced myself for what I feared might be a lecture on the merits of her party, but she didn't say a word. When it was my turn I ordered my coffee and then pointed to her and told the barista to give my fine friend from the other party anything she wanted. She immediately resisted and said, "Oh no, you don't have to do that." I replied, "Yes I do. I believe in the two-party system and we don't have to agree with each other but we do need each other and we need to respect each other." She thanked me and told me I was nicer that many others she had encountered from my party.

I do very little online. I generally don't trust the big platforms and so much of what's online is either a shouting match or somebody bragging. But whatever I do online I'll keep it civil. When I'm not online I'm going to buy coffee for people from the other party.

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