Happy Birthday

Here's your wheelchair!

The past very little while, the kids have been nagging us about this house across town that we absolutely must buy.

Photo by Tierra Mallorca on Unsplash

My response has been along the lines of:

Why on earth would we move? Our current house, crafted in 1932 is built like a battleship; we just moved into it a few short years ago; we have finally gotten it mostly how we want it; and it has no mortgage.

But, alas, the little buggers kept pushing. We gotta buy the other house because it is so amazing.

I kind of figured that this need for us to move was motivated by more free babysitting, as it is only a few houses down from the grandkids. The parents could tell em to ‘walk over to grandma’s house.’

But no…

I discovered that my figuring was wrong…

Yesterday the kids came over for a casual birthday dinner.

I got lots of fancy booze. I got a couple different kinds of snus that are difficult to find here in the Pacific Northwest, and I got some higher end luggage.

The luggage leads me to a bit of a Masonic tangent.

You see, when I decided to run for the office of Junior Grand Warden, MW Munks assured me that I should simply resign myself to buying a new car, and that said new car would be worn out by the time my term as Grand Master was over.

What he didn’t tell me was that I’d wear out my luggage as well.

That got solved yesterday.

Anyway, back to the story.

It was an ambush!

They had arranged for a showing of the house we simply must buy to follow dinner.

So, we dutifully trudged across town to look at this “amazing house.”

Ah, that is when we discovered that we were wrong about a desire for more free babysitting.

No, it wasn’t babysitting motivating the evil plan.

No, you see, we discovered that we are supposed to buy said different house because:

-It is all on one level, we need not go up and down stairs.

-The shower off the Master is all set up for handicapped use.

-The house is accessed by wheelchair ramps.

-The yard is very small for minimal maintenance. (I’m not sure how this is a benefit to us, given that my hired man Luke handles my yard maintenance, but heh.)

It seems that the youngsters have decided that their mother and I are now older than dirt and ready for our wheelchairs! They pointed out all these wonderful old geezer features as we wandered through the house.

I figure at this rate they’ll have me eating mush and sitting around in diapers in no time!

I’m not quite sure how the youngsters think we manage to make it to work every day. I imagine they’ll be plotting to take away our car keys soon! Lucky for me, my Centralia, Doric, and Esoterika Lodges are all handicap accessible, but I suppose I won’t be able to attend my Sultan-Monroe or Skykomish Lodges ever again!

So there it is, I’m apparently an old fart now!