The only dinners in the lodge we have are before degrees or stated meetings. Other than that, we have a pre-stated meeting dinner which is popular and held at a local restaurant. We typically bring our families as well. Gets us out in the community and gets our families involved.
The 'pre-stated meeting dinner' sounds interesting, and like a great opportunity to get family involved. Might I ask how frequently is occurs, and how many days it is off from your Stated Meetings?
It happens the day before every stated meeting. Ours is the first Thursday, so it’s the Wednesday before. Typically we decide where to go next a month before so we have ample time to figure out where to go and how many people are interested.
One lodge I attend has dinner before the state meeting, at the lodge building. The lodge does cover the majority of the cost with a suggested donation amount from the brothers. We also use this as a time to talk to, and get to know, prospective candidates.
Another lodge I attend is a table lodge, so the meal is after the lodge meeting and is open to non-masons. The lodge meeting is held in a local Eagles's club building. We don't pay rent but we do have to purchase our own meal (prime rib or salmon). This goes to the Eagle's club, who cook and serve the meal, in lieu of rent.
A lodge that I have petitioned for plural membership has a big social aspect which includes the significant others. There is fellowship and frivolity before and after lodge with a meal being a part of one side of the meeting or the other.
Myrtle Lodge, in Issaquah, was my first home lodge. They have a regular Saturday morning breakfast and have grown their membership as a result of that exposure.
There are advantages to dinner in the lodge building but also, at a restaurant.
In lodge permits a little closer fellowship without worrying about a slip of the tongue on some Masonic aspect. It could also mean that the lodge covers the cost of the meal or at the very least, it's a potluck style that is more affordable than a restaurant.
Having dinner at a local restaurant, builds visibility and can help increase interest in membership. It also builds rapport with the local community and local business owners, which can be a positive thing. However, it can get expensive and perhaps some brothers, would abstain due to the costs of eating out at a restaurant.
Also keep in mind that some, like myself and you, or course, are plural members. That could mean multiple restaurant dinners per month.
I think that for most Lodges it is important that significant others, and kids are involved with the fellowship before the meeting. Cementing bonds of friendship between significant others is likely just as important as cementing bonds of friendship between Masons, for the long term health of the Lodge. Saying that though, I do recognize that there are exceptions, Lodges where this wouldn't work due to the focus of the Lodge.
The Saturday morning breakfast (or anything similar) does seem like a solid idea to me. I'm aware of Lodges that do something similar in pubs on Saturday evenings.
I have considered 'slips of the tongue' but don't imagine they are much to worry about. I've sat in plenty of Lodge dining rooms when Brothers have accidentally started talking about the Master Mason Degree, while an Entered Apprentice is sitting with them. We simply have to train ourselves to be aware.
I do imagine it is good for our Craft when we can make favorable impressions on local small business owners, such as whomever owns our local restaurant.
We were forced to do that by circumstances for a couple meals (our lower hall was rented out to a group for a very large multi week rummage sale, and they wanted us to STAY OUT.
Some observations:
1) The noise level was pretty high by comparison, so we couldn't talk as much, and couldn't hear each other over the din.
2) The seating drove even more cliquishness than normal.
3) It was significantly more expensive, for food that was frankly not as good (but then I'm JW and a damn good cook.)
4) They put us in a back corner, so; so much for increased visibility.
Interesting topic. We are a lodge that does a formal (3-course) served meal after the Stated Communication. The goal is to give the brothers time to talk and reflect on the papers and music presented in our meetings. In our experience, when we take our dinner to a restaurant, we lose half the men in transit.
I like the idea of the meal being served after Lodge, but all of my Lodges serve it prior. So, we wouldn't lose men in transit, but I do wonder how many would just decide to skip the meal if it wasn't served in the Lodge.
For Lodges that can afford it (or figure out how to otherwise pull it off) catering is a good way to go I think. And I say that as someone who like you has had his share of terrible Lodge meals! 🤠
My lodge has been all over the board when it comes to dinners. When I joined around 2008, we had access to a commercial-style kitchen in our building. The Senior Warden prepared the meals, and the Stewards (and others) handled setup and cleanup. It was simple—paper plates, plasticware, and canned soda—it gbut ot the job done.
In 2015, we moved to a different building. At first, we stepped things up: meals were catered and served by the local Rainbow Girls and Job’s Daughters. We had tablecloths, real silverware, glassware, hot coffee and great desserts—the works. The young ladies served the meals, and the atmosphere felt more formal and significant.
Eventually, in a cost-saving move, we shifted back to the Senior Warden taking care of dinners—without access to a kitchen. That meant pizza, sandwiches, and other carry-out options, with the occasional homemade meal. And we returned to paper plates and canned soda.
While I fully understand the financial realities, I believe stepping away from meals prepared and served by the Rainbow Girls had a negative effect on the evening’s atmosphere. Their involvement brought a sense of class and purpose to the meals. It also fostered meaningful interaction with the youth of our Masonic family, gave them opportunities to earn service hours and funds, and encouraged fellowship among the brethren.
Most importantly, though, it helped create a compelling and welcoming experience for visitors and potential candidates—something I think we sometimes underestimate.
If the Brothers have the ability and desire to plan, shop, prep, cook, serve, and clean up a *good* meal, and make it enjoyable for most or all, then by all means have the meal in Lodge.
Otherwise, the pub or restaurant becomes more practical.
Lodges vary. One of my Lodges didn’t have dinners before. We then rented the dinIng haul out to a day care (huge mistake) and lost the use of it. We then tried to have dinner at the American Legion because it was cheap (8.00) for burnt hamburgers. We seldom got more than 7 people and that was because of the cheap drinks.
We kicked out the day care eventually and started having dinners, with my wife cooking them with occasional help from another spouse. One brother helps with cleanup but our Jr and Sr Wardens only made 1-2 meeting's this year, and we have no Stewards.
We have $150 a month budgeted and put out a donation basket. So far we have covered all food costs and come out a couple hundred ahead each year. In our area, the choice of restaurants is slim, and you generally can expect a mediocre food for $26 to $ 30 a plate.
The Brothers won’t pay that, and I agree. We are doing well so far, my wife said she would prepare the dinners for another year, we have good fellowship. We have a refreshment table after Lodge, but close to half the brothers leave right after Lodge.
One of my other Lodges starts with beers, drinks and cigars, pool and social activities for a good hour and a half. The Junior Warden has been preparing the meals with assistance from a couple brothers. A donation basket is put out and generally covers more than the cost of food. There are desserts, toasts and cigars after as well. Great vibe.
Like yours, my wife has done a great deal of cooking for the Lodge through the years, and it has worked out well, because she enjoys it, and other wives have always pitched in to help. I know though that not all Masons are blessed with that situation.
Also, the experience when she's done it mirrors your own. The donations for dinner generally cover the costs, sometimes a bit more, sometimes a bit less. I think though that in order for that to happen, purchases must be kept under reasonable control. I have seen Brothers do dinners that came nowhere near supporting themselves because they bought so much more than could ever possibly be used.
The fact that you have a social hour before dinner, including cigars, pool and social activities makes me want to attend that Lodge and visit it sounds very enticing!!
I think it depends on the lodge. I can see the approaches to both. At one Lodge, we’ve had Junior warden and what few stewards we had burnout year after year after year and then we moved to catered meals and that was a lot more successful and we had the dough to spend on this particular situation. Families can still come along and enjoy themselves and we are fortunate enough to have some Job’s s daughters that are eager to assist us as well as rainbow girls that show up at other times which I think is essential and should be included in a Masonic event whatever possible in order to keep the shrinkage of all of the aspects of the Masonic family from disappearing entirely, or on a happier note even reversing and growing.
At another Lodge that I attend they have a tradition of having the OES cook for them and it’s a darn fine meal they have a little bit of Masonic education a wonderful large service but because it’s on a weekday everybody has to bugger off before too long and fellowship is minimal after that. As one wise Brother) said previously if we had everybody show up at a restaurant even though they are within walking distance, there is a good chance we could lose people.
It seems like there is a tendency in these days of regrettably shrinking masonry to pat the junior warden on the head, give him the magic wand and expect him to conjure up a 12 course meal with Gordon Ramsay causticly delivering witty acidic bon mots from table the table as somebody fails to deliver less than perfection. In reality you usually have a younger Mason who has a generational perspective different from those of his peers, and as a result doesn’t tend to get a lot of support or conversely gets a ton of support from other brothers who appreciate his position.
Worst case scenario is the “One Weary Brother”. I’m sure we’ve all been this guy one time or another. He shows up and unlocks the lodge and starts putting out all the tables and the chairs. Then he goes into the kitchen and starts prepping all the food. If he’s lucky, a couple of people show up and jump into assist until Something Fun happens and then he’s left on his own again. The meal is frantically prepared and again if he’s lucky the stewards are around if the Lodge even has any stewards and he can get the meal prepped and all the silverware put out.
Then there’s that 30 or 40 minutes before Lodge starts and he’s frantically washing dishes and putting things away and rolling stuff up and if there’s dessert and refreshment afterwards he’s already working on that again hopefully there is some help offered. Everybody runs into Lodge, adjusting their accoutrements and going through the meeting. One Weary Brother usually signs out 10 minutes early from the meeting but it’s not to go enjoy a well earned clogging class or something he might actually have fun with, he’s got to get and prep dessert and refreshment and make sure there’s coffee for everyone and essentially wait on tables and get people taken care of.
If he is truly on the last case of burnout, everyone expects him to lock up and he’s finally the last one to leave staggering off to go back to his job in the morning if you’re looking at your typical schedule.
Mind you this is just some stuff I’ve observed over the years at different lodges and it’s not meant to say anything other than if we can prevent One Weary Brother Syndrome we are winners (chicken dinner none withstanding).
One hopeful thing I will mention is that I do a bit of travelling and I went to a lodge recently where I saw a case of One Weary Brother Syndrome that was averted in a very clever way. The junior warden had caught a bad case of OWBS and consulted” Dr” Mackey for best results. He was a younger guy in the Service and he got two of his mates to petition to the lodge and made them stewards. Not only was he driving prospects and promoting interest in his generation ( which seems to be a a difficult thing these days )in Masonry but he was also touting the fun competitive energy he and his mates had together in the Service. He took the unfamiliar and made it familiar with dazzling platinum results. Our craft is not yet dead. Brotherly love will always prevail if we allow it. To have friends, we must be friendly.
My teenage years, I went to about 4 dinners before Masonic Lodge meetings (my bad was Secretary of Hermon Lodge No. 6 in Clarksburg WV.
The OES prepared the meals, that were buffet so choices and amounts eaten could be decided. As a DeMolay, discussions with the Masons were interesting (esp. one who was a Registered Professional Engineer)!
After the meal, I helped dry and put away dishes. The OES earned a few $$ serving the meals. After the kitchen was cleared, the women played Bridge (and often taught me how to play Bridge)! After the Lodge meeting, there was a few times BINGO, with wrapped prizes (most often ashtrays).
At my own Lodge in NY, the meals were OK, but too often only Pork (which I cannot eat due to gall bladder issues). When that happened, I excused myself to go to a quick McDonald's meal, or just made a meal of potatoes and a green vegetable. Dessert and coffee after each meeting was appropriate if a bit of "maybe a political issue" needed raised.
For formal celebratory dinners, the head table at a local restaurant was where we invited the Commander of the local Knights of Columbus to sit, and speak to us briefly. NY State was very open to Masonry, and we even had Catholic members in our Lodge. The meal after our annual 3rd Degree in the Masonic Family Park near Granite Falls was one of my favorites, with Prince Hall Masons, Canadian Masons, and their families.
Holding a meal before or after a meeting at a restaurant can be a great thing, but you need to find a restaurant that offers a semi-private dining area, not just a table in the middle of the restaurant. Not a lot of places have such accommodations. Also, a lot of lodges like mine, are in the old run down area of town and a decent place within walking distance doesn't exist. Esoterika drives to a place about 5 minutes away that offers a separate banquet room they reserve and that is a great idea and it works for them.
Our lodge used to go to a local bar on our off days once a month for "visibility" but it was too noisy for conversation and we didn't ever get anyone to join out of it. We went back to weekly practices at the lodge instead.
In our Lodge, the festive board is held AFTER the meeting, at about 9:00 pm. Before the meeting we have lightvrefreshments and, of course, some good whiskey!
The festive board is considered an inseparable part of the meeting and Brethren are expected to remain. It has a "ritual", toasts and at the end, the Tyler's toast.
It is common that after INSTALLATION meetings Lodges have the festive board in a hotel or restaurant, however we do not in our Lodge. We can host about 70 people and we book catering, and the dinner is self serve.
We see a drawback in traveling to a good restaurant or hotel -we would frequrntly "loose" Brethren who travel right home instead. Besides - cost becomes an issue - the meal may be double the cost.
I have been in such festive boats in restaurants - it is nice, good food and OK are variety, but does not feel "home"
At my home lodge the Stewards either throw something together or pick something up. We have a commercial kitchen but work schedules make it difficult to come in and cook. About ten Brothers will come and eat before the meeting. Sometimes less. The rest rush in just before the meeting so we barely start on time. Unless it's a degree night, most rush home immediately after we close. Otherwise, a Brother owns a shop just down the road and he'll open his doors and pour drinks. We do a formal Table Lodge once a year and we barely make quarum for it. This last year I had to drag all the officers in, kicking and screaming. When fellowship activities are planned, we're lucky if a handful show up.
For Ohio Lodge of Research, we only meet in person quarterly. We'll have a light lunch. Normally soup and sandwiches. It is a working lunch with people discussing works in progress to get research help and/or the presentation of shorter works before moving into the meeting and presentation of full lectures.
“…The rest rush in just before the meeting so we barely start on time. Unless it's a degree night, most rush home immediately after we close.” “We do a formal Table Lodge once a year and we barely make quorum for it. This last year I had to drag all the officers in, kicking and screaming.”
It makes me wonder what your Lodge officers really want to do. Even Lodges in my area where the Worshipful Master isn’t the greatest at running a meeting, we have good fellowship afterwards. I’m thinking about where a Lodge in my area has a situation like you mention. Not that Lodges weren’t like this a couple of decades ago, but things have gotten a lot better in this regard.
MWB Cameron and many of the Brothers who participate in the comments have provided lots of valuable advice as to benefit Lodge participation and member retention. You have as well, and it is much appreciated. I’d like to be able to give you a clear-cut answer to your situation, but the solution happened over a period of years, not months, and it involved several Brothers in different capacities.
MWB Bailey, I think going out every once in a while can be fun, and agree that it can help increase our presence in the community. Though I think the lack of ability to comfortably communicate about the esoteric nature of the Craft may preclude the participation or engagement of some of the Brethren that may be less comfortable with these topics out of Lodge. I do think a variety of going out, ordering out (in lodge), or cooking together could be a great way to give the Brethren a break and network in our communities. Perhaps a mix?
I think that you are most likely correct, a mix is probably the best solution over the long term. Variety is always interesting, and as you rightly point out, it gives those doing the work a usually well needed break.
Been thinking of this a lot in recent times. I figure our new daytime Lodge should just meet for lunch at the restaurant down the street owned by a Brother.
The only drawback is the JW learning responsibilities in this area, and psychological bonding through feeding. But then there are always in-house events!
The Lodge in my little City gave up on having this be a JW duty long ago. Some JW's cook so badly one could well wish he was dead while eating, and of course some JW's hate doing it. Conversely, we usually have someone who likes to cook and is reasonably good at it, so that's where those responsibilities have generally landed.
I wish Kelso would have had dinner before lodge. Though at the same time we tended to have an after party at the local pub which made up for it most evenings when we could get away with it.
I like the proposition of taking it out to the community. It would appear to be an unspoken tradition. Some of the earliest meetings were held in pubs. So why not keep it that way.
If we are getting together, we are breaking bread. I think “extra-lodge” activities are good because it raises awareness of the craft. I like the English concept of meeting early and having a nice meal afterwards with toasts.
The precarious part of going outside the lodge is that we need to watch our behavior and dress. We need to act well, be kind, and tip appropriately when we go out.
The only dinners in the lodge we have are before degrees or stated meetings. Other than that, we have a pre-stated meeting dinner which is popular and held at a local restaurant. We typically bring our families as well. Gets us out in the community and gets our families involved.
The 'pre-stated meeting dinner' sounds interesting, and like a great opportunity to get family involved. Might I ask how frequently is occurs, and how many days it is off from your Stated Meetings?
It happens the day before every stated meeting. Ours is the first Thursday, so it’s the Wednesday before. Typically we decide where to go next a month before so we have ample time to figure out where to go and how many people are interested.
Thank you! This seems like a really solid idea to me. I'm going to see if I can get the lodge in my hometown interested in doing something similar.
A few points stand out here for me.
One lodge I attend has dinner before the state meeting, at the lodge building. The lodge does cover the majority of the cost with a suggested donation amount from the brothers. We also use this as a time to talk to, and get to know, prospective candidates.
Another lodge I attend is a table lodge, so the meal is after the lodge meeting and is open to non-masons. The lodge meeting is held in a local Eagles's club building. We don't pay rent but we do have to purchase our own meal (prime rib or salmon). This goes to the Eagle's club, who cook and serve the meal, in lieu of rent.
A lodge that I have petitioned for plural membership has a big social aspect which includes the significant others. There is fellowship and frivolity before and after lodge with a meal being a part of one side of the meeting or the other.
Myrtle Lodge, in Issaquah, was my first home lodge. They have a regular Saturday morning breakfast and have grown their membership as a result of that exposure.
There are advantages to dinner in the lodge building but also, at a restaurant.
In lodge permits a little closer fellowship without worrying about a slip of the tongue on some Masonic aspect. It could also mean that the lodge covers the cost of the meal or at the very least, it's a potluck style that is more affordable than a restaurant.
Having dinner at a local restaurant, builds visibility and can help increase interest in membership. It also builds rapport with the local community and local business owners, which can be a positive thing. However, it can get expensive and perhaps some brothers, would abstain due to the costs of eating out at a restaurant.
Also keep in mind that some, like myself and you, or course, are plural members. That could mean multiple restaurant dinners per month.
If the "table lodge" is at a restaurant with non masons, it's a festive board. A proper table lodge is tiled and for masons only.
It is a festive board but I used the term table lodge because we follow that format.
I know the difference and have attended both types.
Just a few random thoughts:
I think that for most Lodges it is important that significant others, and kids are involved with the fellowship before the meeting. Cementing bonds of friendship between significant others is likely just as important as cementing bonds of friendship between Masons, for the long term health of the Lodge. Saying that though, I do recognize that there are exceptions, Lodges where this wouldn't work due to the focus of the Lodge.
The Saturday morning breakfast (or anything similar) does seem like a solid idea to me. I'm aware of Lodges that do something similar in pubs on Saturday evenings.
I have considered 'slips of the tongue' but don't imagine they are much to worry about. I've sat in plenty of Lodge dining rooms when Brothers have accidentally started talking about the Master Mason Degree, while an Entered Apprentice is sitting with them. We simply have to train ourselves to be aware.
I do imagine it is good for our Craft when we can make favorable impressions on local small business owners, such as whomever owns our local restaurant.
We were forced to do that by circumstances for a couple meals (our lower hall was rented out to a group for a very large multi week rummage sale, and they wanted us to STAY OUT.
Some observations:
1) The noise level was pretty high by comparison, so we couldn't talk as much, and couldn't hear each other over the din.
2) The seating drove even more cliquishness than normal.
3) It was significantly more expensive, for food that was frankly not as good (but then I'm JW and a damn good cook.)
4) They put us in a back corner, so; so much for increased visibility.
Thanks for sharing this real world experience. I appreciate it!
I presume (for my Lodge anyway, given its location) that Number 1 could be mitigated by choosing a quiet place.
Number 2 was a significant concern in my mind when I was coming up with this post. I'm not sure how that could be mitigated in a restaurant.
Number 3, yeah, that's dependent on the cook!
Number 4, certainly a trade off. More centrally located in the space, greater visibility, but also less privacy and more noise.
Interesting topic. We are a lodge that does a formal (3-course) served meal after the Stated Communication. The goal is to give the brothers time to talk and reflect on the papers and music presented in our meetings. In our experience, when we take our dinner to a restaurant, we lose half the men in transit.
I like the idea of the meal being served after Lodge, but all of my Lodges serve it prior. So, we wouldn't lose men in transit, but I do wonder how many would just decide to skip the meal if it wasn't served in the Lodge.
Having eaten my share of terrible lodge meals, I wonder how many would actually come if the lodge actually catered their meals instead.
For Lodges that can afford it (or figure out how to otherwise pull it off) catering is a good way to go I think. And I say that as someone who like you has had his share of terrible Lodge meals! 🤠
My lodge has been all over the board when it comes to dinners. When I joined around 2008, we had access to a commercial-style kitchen in our building. The Senior Warden prepared the meals, and the Stewards (and others) handled setup and cleanup. It was simple—paper plates, plasticware, and canned soda—it gbut ot the job done.
In 2015, we moved to a different building. At first, we stepped things up: meals were catered and served by the local Rainbow Girls and Job’s Daughters. We had tablecloths, real silverware, glassware, hot coffee and great desserts—the works. The young ladies served the meals, and the atmosphere felt more formal and significant.
Eventually, in a cost-saving move, we shifted back to the Senior Warden taking care of dinners—without access to a kitchen. That meant pizza, sandwiches, and other carry-out options, with the occasional homemade meal. And we returned to paper plates and canned soda.
While I fully understand the financial realities, I believe stepping away from meals prepared and served by the Rainbow Girls had a negative effect on the evening’s atmosphere. Their involvement brought a sense of class and purpose to the meals. It also fostered meaningful interaction with the youth of our Masonic family, gave them opportunities to earn service hours and funds, and encouraged fellowship among the brethren.
Most importantly, though, it helped create a compelling and welcoming experience for visitors and potential candidates—something I think we sometimes underestimate.
As someone who's had a lot of good quality Lodge meals, and a lot of bad Lodge meals, I have to agree with what you write here.
A good meal elevates an evening and makes everything better.
But, of course, that is easier said than done, as some Lodges don't have anyone who can pull off a good meal.
I do though, always remember the words of a Past Grand Master, uttered when I was brand new to Masonry. As I recall them they were:
"Properly cooked chilli dogs are better than improperly cooked prime rib."
His words have always rung true for me. I think if our skills are limited, it is best to keep it simple.
If the Brothers have the ability and desire to plan, shop, prep, cook, serve, and clean up a *good* meal, and make it enjoyable for most or all, then by all means have the meal in Lodge.
Otherwise, the pub or restaurant becomes more practical.
I really strongly agree, if we are to serve a meal, it needs to be a good meal.
Lodges vary. One of my Lodges didn’t have dinners before. We then rented the dinIng haul out to a day care (huge mistake) and lost the use of it. We then tried to have dinner at the American Legion because it was cheap (8.00) for burnt hamburgers. We seldom got more than 7 people and that was because of the cheap drinks.
We kicked out the day care eventually and started having dinners, with my wife cooking them with occasional help from another spouse. One brother helps with cleanup but our Jr and Sr Wardens only made 1-2 meeting's this year, and we have no Stewards.
We have $150 a month budgeted and put out a donation basket. So far we have covered all food costs and come out a couple hundred ahead each year. In our area, the choice of restaurants is slim, and you generally can expect a mediocre food for $26 to $ 30 a plate.
The Brothers won’t pay that, and I agree. We are doing well so far, my wife said she would prepare the dinners for another year, we have good fellowship. We have a refreshment table after Lodge, but close to half the brothers leave right after Lodge.
One of my other Lodges starts with beers, drinks and cigars, pool and social activities for a good hour and a half. The Junior Warden has been preparing the meals with assistance from a couple brothers. A donation basket is put out and generally covers more than the cost of food. There are desserts, toasts and cigars after as well. Great vibe.
Like yours, my wife has done a great deal of cooking for the Lodge through the years, and it has worked out well, because she enjoys it, and other wives have always pitched in to help. I know though that not all Masons are blessed with that situation.
Also, the experience when she's done it mirrors your own. The donations for dinner generally cover the costs, sometimes a bit more, sometimes a bit less. I think though that in order for that to happen, purchases must be kept under reasonable control. I have seen Brothers do dinners that came nowhere near supporting themselves because they bought so much more than could ever possibly be used.
The fact that you have a social hour before dinner, including cigars, pool and social activities makes me want to attend that Lodge and visit it sounds very enticing!!
Agreed!
I think it depends on the lodge. I can see the approaches to both. At one Lodge, we’ve had Junior warden and what few stewards we had burnout year after year after year and then we moved to catered meals and that was a lot more successful and we had the dough to spend on this particular situation. Families can still come along and enjoy themselves and we are fortunate enough to have some Job’s s daughters that are eager to assist us as well as rainbow girls that show up at other times which I think is essential and should be included in a Masonic event whatever possible in order to keep the shrinkage of all of the aspects of the Masonic family from disappearing entirely, or on a happier note even reversing and growing.
At another Lodge that I attend they have a tradition of having the OES cook for them and it’s a darn fine meal they have a little bit of Masonic education a wonderful large service but because it’s on a weekday everybody has to bugger off before too long and fellowship is minimal after that. As one wise Brother) said previously if we had everybody show up at a restaurant even though they are within walking distance, there is a good chance we could lose people.
It seems like there is a tendency in these days of regrettably shrinking masonry to pat the junior warden on the head, give him the magic wand and expect him to conjure up a 12 course meal with Gordon Ramsay causticly delivering witty acidic bon mots from table the table as somebody fails to deliver less than perfection. In reality you usually have a younger Mason who has a generational perspective different from those of his peers, and as a result doesn’t tend to get a lot of support or conversely gets a ton of support from other brothers who appreciate his position.
Worst case scenario is the “One Weary Brother”. I’m sure we’ve all been this guy one time or another. He shows up and unlocks the lodge and starts putting out all the tables and the chairs. Then he goes into the kitchen and starts prepping all the food. If he’s lucky, a couple of people show up and jump into assist until Something Fun happens and then he’s left on his own again. The meal is frantically prepared and again if he’s lucky the stewards are around if the Lodge even has any stewards and he can get the meal prepped and all the silverware put out.
Then there’s that 30 or 40 minutes before Lodge starts and he’s frantically washing dishes and putting things away and rolling stuff up and if there’s dessert and refreshment afterwards he’s already working on that again hopefully there is some help offered. Everybody runs into Lodge, adjusting their accoutrements and going through the meeting. One Weary Brother usually signs out 10 minutes early from the meeting but it’s not to go enjoy a well earned clogging class or something he might actually have fun with, he’s got to get and prep dessert and refreshment and make sure there’s coffee for everyone and essentially wait on tables and get people taken care of.
If he is truly on the last case of burnout, everyone expects him to lock up and he’s finally the last one to leave staggering off to go back to his job in the morning if you’re looking at your typical schedule.
Mind you this is just some stuff I’ve observed over the years at different lodges and it’s not meant to say anything other than if we can prevent One Weary Brother Syndrome we are winners (chicken dinner none withstanding).
One hopeful thing I will mention is that I do a bit of travelling and I went to a lodge recently where I saw a case of One Weary Brother Syndrome that was averted in a very clever way. The junior warden had caught a bad case of OWBS and consulted” Dr” Mackey for best results. He was a younger guy in the Service and he got two of his mates to petition to the lodge and made them stewards. Not only was he driving prospects and promoting interest in his generation ( which seems to be a a difficult thing these days )in Masonry but he was also touting the fun competitive energy he and his mates had together in the Service. He took the unfamiliar and made it familiar with dazzling platinum results. Our craft is not yet dead. Brotherly love will always prevail if we allow it. To have friends, we must be friendly.
MWPGM Bailey,
My teenage years, I went to about 4 dinners before Masonic Lodge meetings (my bad was Secretary of Hermon Lodge No. 6 in Clarksburg WV.
The OES prepared the meals, that were buffet so choices and amounts eaten could be decided. As a DeMolay, discussions with the Masons were interesting (esp. one who was a Registered Professional Engineer)!
After the meal, I helped dry and put away dishes. The OES earned a few $$ serving the meals. After the kitchen was cleared, the women played Bridge (and often taught me how to play Bridge)! After the Lodge meeting, there was a few times BINGO, with wrapped prizes (most often ashtrays).
At my own Lodge in NY, the meals were OK, but too often only Pork (which I cannot eat due to gall bladder issues). When that happened, I excused myself to go to a quick McDonald's meal, or just made a meal of potatoes and a green vegetable. Dessert and coffee after each meeting was appropriate if a bit of "maybe a political issue" needed raised.
For formal celebratory dinners, the head table at a local restaurant was where we invited the Commander of the local Knights of Columbus to sit, and speak to us briefly. NY State was very open to Masonry, and we even had Catholic members in our Lodge. The meal after our annual 3rd Degree in the Masonic Family Park near Granite Falls was one of my favorites, with Prince Hall Masons, Canadian Masons, and their families.
Holding a meal before or after a meeting at a restaurant can be a great thing, but you need to find a restaurant that offers a semi-private dining area, not just a table in the middle of the restaurant. Not a lot of places have such accommodations. Also, a lot of lodges like mine, are in the old run down area of town and a decent place within walking distance doesn't exist. Esoterika drives to a place about 5 minutes away that offers a separate banquet room they reserve and that is a great idea and it works for them.
Our lodge used to go to a local bar on our off days once a month for "visibility" but it was too noisy for conversation and we didn't ever get anyone to join out of it. We went back to weekly practices at the lodge instead.
In our Lodge, the festive board is held AFTER the meeting, at about 9:00 pm. Before the meeting we have lightvrefreshments and, of course, some good whiskey!
The festive board is considered an inseparable part of the meeting and Brethren are expected to remain. It has a "ritual", toasts and at the end, the Tyler's toast.
It is common that after INSTALLATION meetings Lodges have the festive board in a hotel or restaurant, however we do not in our Lodge. We can host about 70 people and we book catering, and the dinner is self serve.
We see a drawback in traveling to a good restaurant or hotel -we would frequrntly "loose" Brethren who travel right home instead. Besides - cost becomes an issue - the meal may be double the cost.
I have been in such festive boats in restaurants - it is nice, good food and OK are variety, but does not feel "home"
At my home lodge the Stewards either throw something together or pick something up. We have a commercial kitchen but work schedules make it difficult to come in and cook. About ten Brothers will come and eat before the meeting. Sometimes less. The rest rush in just before the meeting so we barely start on time. Unless it's a degree night, most rush home immediately after we close. Otherwise, a Brother owns a shop just down the road and he'll open his doors and pour drinks. We do a formal Table Lodge once a year and we barely make quarum for it. This last year I had to drag all the officers in, kicking and screaming. When fellowship activities are planned, we're lucky if a handful show up.
For Ohio Lodge of Research, we only meet in person quarterly. We'll have a light lunch. Normally soup and sandwiches. It is a working lunch with people discussing works in progress to get research help and/or the presentation of shorter works before moving into the meeting and presentation of full lectures.
“…The rest rush in just before the meeting so we barely start on time. Unless it's a degree night, most rush home immediately after we close.” “We do a formal Table Lodge once a year and we barely make quorum for it. This last year I had to drag all the officers in, kicking and screaming.”
It makes me wonder what your Lodge officers really want to do. Even Lodges in my area where the Worshipful Master isn’t the greatest at running a meeting, we have good fellowship afterwards. I’m thinking about where a Lodge in my area has a situation like you mention. Not that Lodges weren’t like this a couple of decades ago, but things have gotten a lot better in this regard.
MWB Cameron and many of the Brothers who participate in the comments have provided lots of valuable advice as to benefit Lodge participation and member retention. You have as well, and it is much appreciated. I’d like to be able to give you a clear-cut answer to your situation, but the solution happened over a period of years, not months, and it involved several Brothers in different capacities.
MWB Bailey, I think going out every once in a while can be fun, and agree that it can help increase our presence in the community. Though I think the lack of ability to comfortably communicate about the esoteric nature of the Craft may preclude the participation or engagement of some of the Brethren that may be less comfortable with these topics out of Lodge. I do think a variety of going out, ordering out (in lodge), or cooking together could be a great way to give the Brethren a break and network in our communities. Perhaps a mix?
I think that you are most likely correct, a mix is probably the best solution over the long term. Variety is always interesting, and as you rightly point out, it gives those doing the work a usually well needed break.
Been thinking of this a lot in recent times. I figure our new daytime Lodge should just meet for lunch at the restaurant down the street owned by a Brother.
The only drawback is the JW learning responsibilities in this area, and psychological bonding through feeding. But then there are always in-house events!
The Lodge in my little City gave up on having this be a JW duty long ago. Some JW's cook so badly one could well wish he was dead while eating, and of course some JW's hate doing it. Conversely, we usually have someone who likes to cook and is reasonably good at it, so that's where those responsibilities have generally landed.
They should be encouraged to outsource it if need be. There's no reason the JW can't be in charge of catering, even if it's done externally.
I wish Kelso would have had dinner before lodge. Though at the same time we tended to have an after party at the local pub which made up for it most evenings when we could get away with it.
I like the proposition of taking it out to the community. It would appear to be an unspoken tradition. Some of the earliest meetings were held in pubs. So why not keep it that way.
If we are getting together, we are breaking bread. I think “extra-lodge” activities are good because it raises awareness of the craft. I like the English concept of meeting early and having a nice meal afterwards with toasts.
The precarious part of going outside the lodge is that we need to watch our behavior and dress. We need to act well, be kind, and tip appropriately when we go out.